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Revision: 1.9
Committed: Sun May 27 22:40:58 2001 UTC (25 years, 4 months ago) by root
Branch: MAIN
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# User Rev Content
1 root 1.9 [alt.bible]
2     Let's not misuse the terminology. Pastor Dave is not a sock puppet, he
3     is an autonomous entity. A rather mindless entity, but still independent.
4     %%
5     [While talking about how to formulate the gcc-3.0 press release]
6     From: Joe Buck
7     > Can someone say this in a way that doesn't claim precognition?
8     Simply add "we believe" at appropriate points.
9     %%
10     [Linus explaining why the bug isn't a bug]
11     Yes, we'll get a clobbered value, but we'll get a _valid_ clobbered value,
12     %%
13     04:57] <JanMan> schmorp: normale sicherheitsabfrage:
14     Hmm Lukas klingelt. Wirklich abheben Nein/Nein :)
15     %%
16     [02:42] <JanMan> Und, ja, ich glaube MS hat echt probleme mit GPL.
17     [02:43] <JanMan> GPL ist wie eine Umweltschutzauflage.
18     %%
19     [this is just here in case i need it for copy&paste]
20     Fuer Benutzer eines "elektronischen Briefkastens" entsteht durch
21     unverlangte Werbesendungen eine Belaestigung und verstoesst gegen
22     die guten Sitten. Das Landgericht Traunstein hat am 14.10.1997
23     festgestellt, dass das Versenden von unverlangtem Werbematerial via
24     E-Mail wettbewerbswidrig und somit unzulaessig ist (Az: 2HK O
25     3755/97). In diesem Gerichtsurteil wurde bei Zuwiderhandlung ein
26     Ordnungsgeld bis zu DM 500.000,- pro Einzelfall festgesetzt.
27    
28     Das Landgericht Berlin (Beschluß vom 14. Mai 1998, Az 16 O 301/98 -
29     "E-Mail-Werbung") befand, dass das unaufgeforderte Zusendung von
30     E-Mails gegen § 823 Abs. 1 BGB verstoesst. Bei Zuwiderhandlung
31     wurde ein Ordnungsgeld von 500.000 DM, ersatzweise Ordnungshaft bis
32     zu sechs Monaten festgesetzt.
33    
34     Nach der staendigen Rechtsprechung des Bundesgerichtshofs
35     verstoesst ein Verhalten im Wettbewerb nicht nur dann gegen die
36     guten Sitten, wenn es dem Anstandsgefuehl der redlichen und
37     verstaendigen Mitbewerber widerspricht, sondern auch dann, wenn die
38     in Frage stehende wettbewerbliche Massnahme von der Allgemeinheit,
39     insbesondere von den durch die Werbemassnahme angesprochenen
40     Verkehrskreisen, missbilligt und als untragbar angesehen wird; denn
41     § 1 UWG soll auch die Allgemeinheit vor Auswuechsen des Wettbewerbs
42     bewahren (BGHZ 59, 317, 319 = NJW 1973, 42 - Telexwerbung;
43     vgl. auch BGHZ 54, 188, 189 = NJW 1970, 1738 - Fernsprechwerbung
44     m. w. N.). (BGH, Urteil vom 03.02.1988 - I ZR 222/85)
45     %%
46     [comment found in the source for gnu-tar]
47     /*---.
48     | ? |
49     `---*/
50     %%
51     Nautilus: Best workout for your VM
52     %%
53 root 1.8 [While talking about how to formulate the gcc-3.0 press release]
54     From: Joe Buck
55     > Can someone say this in a way that doesn't claim precognition?
56     Simply add "we believe" at appropriate points.
57     %%
58     [Linus explaining why the bug isn't a bug]
59     Yes, we'll get a clobbered value, but we'll get a _valid_ clobbered value,
60     %%
61 root 1.7 04:57] <JanMan> schmorp: normale sicherheitsabfrage:
62     Hmm Lukas klingelt. Wirklich abheben Nein/Nein :)
63     %%
64 root 1.6 [02:42] <JanMan> Und, ja, ich glaube MS hat echt probleme mit GPL.
65     [02:43] <JanMan> GPL ist wie eine Umweltschutzauflage.
66     %%
67     [this is just here in case i need it for copy&paste]
68     Fuer Benutzer eines "elektronischen Briefkastens" entsteht durch
69     unverlangte Werbesendungen eine Belaestigung und verstoesst gegen
70     die guten Sitten. Das Landgericht Traunstein hat am 14.10.1997
71     festgestellt, dass das Versenden von unverlangtem Werbematerial via
72     E-Mail wettbewerbswidrig und somit unzulaessig ist (Az: 2HK O
73     3755/97). In diesem Gerichtsurteil wurde bei Zuwiderhandlung ein
74     Ordnungsgeld bis zu DM 500.000,- pro Einzelfall festgesetzt.
75    
76     Das Landgericht Berlin (Beschluß vom 14. Mai 1998, Az 16 O 301/98 -
77     "E-Mail-Werbung") befand, dass das unaufgeforderte Zusendung von
78     E-Mails gegen § 823 Abs. 1 BGB verstoesst. Bei Zuwiderhandlung
79     wurde ein Ordnungsgeld von 500.000 DM, ersatzweise Ordnungshaft bis
80     zu sechs Monaten festgesetzt.
81    
82     Nach der staendigen Rechtsprechung des Bundesgerichtshofs
83     verstoesst ein Verhalten im Wettbewerb nicht nur dann gegen die
84     guten Sitten, wenn es dem Anstandsgefuehl der redlichen und
85     verstaendigen Mitbewerber widerspricht, sondern auch dann, wenn die
86     in Frage stehende wettbewerbliche Massnahme von der Allgemeinheit,
87     insbesondere von den durch die Werbemassnahme angesprochenen
88     Verkehrskreisen, missbilligt und als untragbar angesehen wird; denn
89     § 1 UWG soll auch die Allgemeinheit vor Auswuechsen des Wettbewerbs
90     bewahren (BGHZ 59, 317, 319 = NJW 1973, 42 - Telexwerbung;
91     vgl. auch BGHZ 54, 188, 189 = NJW 1970, 1738 - Fernsprechwerbung
92     m. w. N.). (BGH, Urteil vom 03.02.1988 - I ZR 222/85)
93     %%
94     [comment found in the source for gnu-tar]
95     /*---.
96     | ? |
97     `---*/
98     %%
99 root 1.5 Nautilus: Best workout for your VM
100     %%
101 root 1.4 [ein tag nach arvoreens geburtstagsfeier]
102     [07:35] <JanMan> hehe, schmorp zur flasche betreffend reiserfs: "It's dead Jim" :)
103     %%
104     [about a broken perl module by Larry Wall]
105     [03:02] <schmorp> beschwer dich doch mal bei larry ;)
106     ...
107     [03:03] <JanMan> larry sagt sicher: aber als "awk" replacement ist perl ok, oder ? :)
108     %%
109 root 1.3 [From: Alan Cox]
110     > The executive, Irving Wladawsky-Berger, an I.B.M. vice president, said,
111     > "If we thought this was a trap, we wouldn't be doing it, and as you
112     > know, we have a lot of lawyers."
113    
114     I loved that. It's in my fortune file now ;)
115    
116     Alan
117     %%
118 root 1.2 [JanMan über O'Reilly]
119     [07:41] <JanMan> naja, Win32-Buecher ohne ende.
120     [07:42] <JanMan> Powering a machine on in the Win32 environment.
121     [07:42] <JanMan> nene, scherz am rande. fuer geld ziehen sie sich aus.
122     [07:42] <JanMan> aber die DE-Leute sind ok.
123     %%
124     [JanMan beim suchen eines exploits in OpenSSL]
125     [07:05] <JanMan> das nenne ich russisch:
126     [07:05] <JanMan> EVP_PKEY *key = NULL;
127     [07:05] <JanMan> STACK_OF(PKCS12_SAFEBAG) *bags = NULL;
128     [07:05] <JanMan> STACK_OF(PKCS7) *safes = NULL;
129     [07:05] <JanMan> PKCS12_SAFEBAG *bag = NULL;
130     [07:08] <JanMan> (#define STACK_OF(type) struct stack_st_##type)
131     %%
132     Hlade's Law:
133     If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
134     will find an easier way to do it.
135     %%
136     [Über Marco, der immer noch nicht bemerkt hat, das man sein gecos-Feld auf
137 root 1.7 "Marco alast [name removed to protect the guilty] \(Micro$oft-Fetischist\)" gesetzt hat.]
138     Paul wrote:
139     >Marc wrote:
140 root 1.2 >> Der wird es auch nie schnallen ;-)
141     > aber echt argllll. Oh Herr schmeiss Hirn vom Himmel (hoffentlich triffts
142     > den richtigen.
143     %%
144 root 1.1 [from janmans .sig]
145     > " Man gebe jedem Niedersachsen - seinen eigenen Castor-Kasten. "
146     %%
147     [a small perl program]
148     :(); { :: | :: } ;
149     %%
150     [a small fork-bomb for bash]
151     :() { : | : ;} ; :
152     %%
153     [messages I got while trying to get files from a windoze ftp server]
154     New: 464 files, 0 symlinks
155     <--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000
156     <--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000
157     <--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000
158     %%
159     From: Jarkko Hietaniemi
160     [...]
161    
162     >Would gcc exports step forward? How long back does the -traditional-cpp
163    
164     Must. Get. More. Sleep. s/ports/perts/
165     %%
166     > There is a mechanism for this already. It is called overloaded
167     > constants.
168    
169     I have a mechanism that can replace Perl: it's called Turing's machine.
170     Or an abacus, for that matter. More details on your proposed solution
171     would be conducive for further discussion.
172     %%
173     > Is there a kernel development irc room anywhere? If not, does anyone think
174     > it might be useful?
175    
176     I'd just like to point out that it's called a channel, not a
177     room. Room is a term introduced by AOL, and I don't think it has
178     much to do with IRC.
179     %%
180     From: Linus Torvalds <torvalds@transmeta.com>
181     Subject: Re: Linux 2.4.2 fails to merge mmap areas, 700% slowdown.
182    
183     [...]
184     Cool. Somebody actually found a real case.
185    
186     I'll fix the mmap case asap. Its' not hard, I just waited to see if it
187     ever actually triggers. Something like g++ certainly counts as major.
188     %%
189     [sorry, that's internal, folks ;)]
190     [07:17] <marco2> elmex heisst jetzt plagiator...
191     %%
192     [http://www.latimes.com/business/cutting/20010405/t000029080.html]
193    
194     Like all good paranoid fantasies, mine has a villain: the Japanese.
195     Japanese electronics designers have been deliberately building
196     clocks into everything in hopes of weakening our industrial might.
197    
198     Now, you might say, "Dave, that's crazy talk. The Japanese have a
199     lot more of these gadgets than we do. They're gadget freaks,
200     man. They'd be hurt by this as much as we are, or even more." Which
201     shows how much you know, pal.
202    
203     The Japanese don't have daylight saving time.
204     %%
205     [messages we got while we massacred our institute's configuration]
206     /scsi2/user2# Apr 5 00:01:17 islhp7 sendmail[1539]: savemail: HELP!!!!
207     Apr 5 00:08:16 islhp7 sendmail[1626]: savemail: HELP!!!!
208     %%
209     [a JAPH using doubled characters only]
210     s//pprriinntt ""JJuusstt AAnnootthheerr PPeerrll HHaacckkeerr,,""22//11;;
211     y yzzyyccss;;##s
212     s((((.................................))((((((((..??))))))))))(($$11))ee;;
213     %%
214     [from the FWP mailinglist]
215     > OR is spelled "|" in the version of Perl I have, not "&" :)
216     Your version of perl sucks.
217     %%
218     [01:43] <elmex_> ah-oh-uh
219     [01:44] <schmorp> leitung durchhacken
220     [01:44] <elmex_> wieso? welche?
221     [01:45] <schmorp> die, auf der du nach dem durchhacken auch noch sitzt? ;9
222     [02:03] <elmex_> das mit dem durchhacken daurert noch
223     [02:03] <elmex_> da isn stahltraeger in der wand
224     [02:04] <elmex_> muss ich erst drumherum
225     [02:04] <elmex_> ;)
226     [02:04] <schmorp> ist doch gut. seine leitungen soltle man ja auch nicht durchhacken
227     [02:04] <elmex_> nich? aber du sachstes doch?
228     [02:05] <schmorp> *sigh*
229     %%
230     I agree the message is pretty useless: you need to know what it means
231     before you can understand it :)
232     %%
233     > now. Rather than the current system of "measure this item onscreen
234     > and enter the figure from your ruler" to calculate DPI, I think it
235     > would be more userfriendly to have the shape of some common object
236     > that you could stretch to fit. For example, you could select A4
237     > paper, place the top of a sheet against the monitor, and stretch or
238     > shrink the virtual outline until it fits the physical outline. That
239     > would give a pretty decent measurement, I think
240    
241     IMHO (I have thought about this before) the perfect object is a CD
242     There is nowhere in the world which does not have CDs, they are always
243     the same size to within mm and they are perfectly round, so they can
244     easily be used to check that your circles are circular _if_ that is
245     what you want (cheap screens will distort things too badly for this to
246     be worth attempting).
247    
248     I'm too busy to do anything about it though, so if a piece of A4 paper
249     floats your goat, go for it! It's about time the Americans finally
250     caught up to the 20th century and went metric anyway...
251    
252     Nick.
253     %%
254     From: "Mike Rebane" <reba0002@algonquincollege.com>
255     Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 12:48:48 -0500
256     X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook IMO, Build 9.0.2416 (9.0.2910.0)
257    
258     I dont know if you are the right person to be asking about this, but here it
259     goes anyways. I was wondering if you could direct me to some information on
260     how to hack into paysites. Im currently a networking student in college and
261     have a good knowledge of win 98 win 2000 and win NT. My e-mail adress is
262     magic_bone@hotmail.com
263     %%
264     > > > I guess then someone would want
265     > > > { ... } for (...) if ...;
266     > > > to work :-)
267     > >
268     > > Funnily enough I wrote that very thing only yesterday.
269     >
270     > Eh?
271     >
272     > $ perl -we '{ print "$_\n" } for (@a) if $a'
273     > syntax error at -e line 1, near ") if"
274    
275     He didn't say it worked. :)
276     %%
277     From: Jarkko Hietaniemi
278    
279     On Mon, Nov 20, 2000 at 08:10:52PM -0600, Jarkko Hietaniemi wrote:
280     > I find it irksome that
281     >
282     > for ( ... ) { ... } if ...;
283    
284     ...doesn't work, and that my send finger is too itchy.
285     %%
286     [a perl5 bug report]
287     From: Simon Cozens
288    
289     On Sat, Nov 18, 2000 at 05:49:55AM -0600, Dan Brumleve wrote:
290     > '' =~ ($re = qr((??{$i++ < 10e4 ? $re : ''})));
291     > Produces SIGSEGV.
292    
293     Looks like a feature to me.
294     %%
295     [Lukilein...]
296     "Wie man ein BSE-Unix überhaupt bedienen kann..."
297     %%
298     [hehe, the "critical thinking community", mainly located in the lesser
299     intelligent parts of the earth named "USA";)]
300    
301     "There are articles and studies showing that, at one time, all of Earth
302     continents were on one side of the planet. What the stories don't explore
303     is the question, if all the continents were on one side, what was on the
304     other? The other side has been described as a tremendous gap [...]"
305    
306     "We can see clear proof that the continents were all once connected by
307     simply looking at a map of the Earth and seeing how the pieces fit. That
308     would only mean that at one time, Earth was basically half a planet. If
309     you were to syphon all the water off of Earth's surface, you would see a
310     large gapping hole where the ocean has filled in this tremendous missing
311     part of the Earth. Where did it go? Why is Earth only half a planet?"
312     %%
313     [following cites are from Crypto-Gram 20010315]
314     I'll just reprint this from their Web site: "iBallot.Com uses a number of
315     security and encryption features that, when combined, provide a very high
316     level of security throughout the entire voting process. The details of
317     this process are proprietary, for obvious reasons. It does not make a
318     great deal of sense to disclose how the iBallot.Com security system works
319     only to have a hacker come into the system, read about the system's
320     security, defeat the security and tamper with the voting process. For this
321     reason, iBallot.Com does not publish its security processes. However, with
322     the foregoing being said, the iBallot.Com system does employ encryption and
323     secure server technology to ensure that the entire voting process is fair,
324     accurate and not subject to tampering."
325    
326     Encryption and secure server technology.... Boy, I certainly feel
327     better. Good thing they don't disclose their security; if they did some
328     hacker might read about it and break it. Who *are* these guys?
329    
330     <http://www.iballot.com/faq2.cfm?docid=28>
331     %%
332     It's too late; Microsoft fixed it. But just a few days ago there was one
333     more Q/A between the second and third question. It read: "Will the virus
334     impact my Macintosh if I am using a non-Microsoft e-mail program, such as
335     Eudora? If you are using a Macintosh e-mail program that is not from
336     Microsoft, we recommend checking with that particular company. But most
337     likely other e-mail programs like Eudora are not designed to enable virus
338     replication."
339     <http://www.microsoft.com/mac/products/office/2001/virus_alert.asp>
340     %%
341     [just some private thoughts]
342     Ever asked yourself why your handheld irda communication is so slow?
343    
344     IrOBEX (Irda Object Exchange): A standard made by Microsoft, and it really
345     shows.
346    
347     First of all, it is utterly inefficient in transfers: RTT totally dictates
348     transfer speed, not a good thing with Irda (which has a high RTT). This
349     totally circumvents the sliding windows irda protocol.
350    
351     Also, the IrOBEX specification talks a lot about "Unicode" text without
352     defining it (except through totally wrong descriptions like "Unicode
353     is two bytes/character", showing their total lack of knowledge since
354     this is just plain wrong. I wonder what they mean with "Unicode", some
355     MS-proprietary format? Not unlikely, given what they did to iso-8859-1).
356    
357     Reading through that document you will find that it would have been easy
358     to find people doing a better job. Actually, I think even apes would come
359     up with a saner protocol.
360     %%
361     [voting by television, the american way...]
362     "They [voters] were like, 'Who are all these people? I thought it was only Bush
363     and Gore running,' " Tyson said.
364    
365     Many voters believed the 10 candidates were running for different offices and
366     cast votes for several of them, Tyson said. Some Spanish-speaking or Haitian
367     voters may have had difficulty understanding directions, Tyson said.
368     %%
369     IBM has withdrawn CPRM...
370     <http://news.cnet.com/news/0-1006-201-4922288-0.html?tag=mn_hd>
371     ...and replaced it with something almost identical:
372     <http://slashdot.org/yro/01/02/23/2134255.shtml>
373     A good analysis by John Gilmore:
374     <http://cryptome.org/cprm-smoke.htm>
375     &&
376     [Midori-Linux FAQ]
377     Q: What can I do about Netscape crashing?
378     A: Any experienced user of Linux Netscape is used to
379     seeing it crash and the included version of Linux Netscape
380     is no exception. This is probably not good, but the product
381     does not come with source code. The workaround is to run
382     Netscape in a loop.
383     %%
384     Subject: [reiserfs-list] Free Space - Where did it go?
385     %%
386     [Technologieregion Karlsruhe (und andere)]
387     marco: Die Region zwischen Stuttgart, Heilbronn und Karlsruhe produziert
388     mehr als Laender wie Schweden, die Schweiz oder Spanien!
389     marco: Im neuesten Technologiebarometer von wired stehen wir auf Platz 2
390     hinter dem Silicon Valley in bezug auf Technologie und Infrastruktur
391     %%
392     [2001-03-14, 3sat, Kulturzeit zum Absturz der MIR:]
393     "ist mir egal"
394     %%
395     From: Hans Reiser
396     Subject: [reiserfs-list] fsck now uses lost and found!
397    
398     Dad, make sure the docs get updated.
399     %%
400     [debugging message found in the siemens data exchange software]
401     hallole
402     %%
403     I have seen that many drives either have a pathetically small queue or
404     have completely broken tagged queueing. I guess thats what happens when
405     most vendors target their hardware for micro$oft.
406     %%
407     1925 With a drink so good, 'tis folly to be thirsty
408     1929 The high sign of refreshment
409     1929 The pause that refreshes
410     1930 It had to be good to get where it is
411     1932 The drink that makes a pause refreshing
412     1935 The pause that brings friends together
413     1937 STOP for a pause... GO refreshed
414     1938 The best friend thirst ever had
415     1939 Thirst stops here
416     1942 It's the real thing
417     1947 Have a Coke
418     1961 Zing! what a REFRESHING NEW FEELING
419     1963 Things go better with Coke
420     1969 Face Uncle Sam with a Coke in your hand
421     1979 Have a Coke and a smile
422     1982 Coke is it!
423     -- Coca-Cola slogans
424     %%
425     [strings recently found in my /proc/cpuinfo]
426     model name : Heavily Overclocked Pentium II (Klamath) (266Mhz/66Mhz FSB)
427     %%
428     [02:24] <elmex> schmorp:
429     [02:24] <elmex> ich wollte mal meine logik ueberpruefen an deiner erfahrung
430     %%
431     [Die letzte Woche war zuviel für Paul]
432     Nach mehrstuendigen Laptop-um-/-neu-/-rauf- und runterinstallationen
433     erlitt unser allseits bekannter und beliebter RechnerHiWi
434     islpaul.bettinger am heutigen Nachmittag einen Totalabsturz. Nach der
435     Meldung "Die Anwendung 'Installiere Cheflaptop' wurde aufgrund eines
436     ungueltigen Vorganges beendet" begann er sinnlose Lieder zu singen "Die
437     Karawane zieht weiter, der Sultan haelt durch". Unmittelbar darauf
438     wurde seine Brille blau, der Schriftzug "Allgemeine Schutzverletzung"
439     erschien. Nach einem Reboot durch Roland (ehemaliger Fussballer, zum
440     booten also gut geeignet), meldete Paul nur noch "Bitte Windows 2000 CD
441     einlegen" (siehe dazu die vorige PTS-Mitteilung). Nach Einlegen einer
442     Linux-Bootdiskette konnte Paul im Single User Modus wiederbelebt werden
443     - allerdings nur mit einem Bruchteil seiner urspruenglichen Faehigkeiten
444     (640k Speicher, 16bit Farbwahrnehmung, kein Plug&Play). Er plant nun eine
445     Karriere als Windows Sysadmin oder Java Programmierer.
446    
447     Beileidbekundungen und Spenden bitte an
448     hi09@isl.mach.uni-karlsruhe.de
449     %%
450     [RMS about gcc snapshots]
451     From: Richard Stallman <rms@gnu.org>
452    
453     [...] Red Hat did make their own release from a snapshot, which was an
454     uncool thing to do. [...]
455     %%
456     "Als das Universum einige zehntausend Jahre alt war - logarithmisch
457     betrachtet also vor relativ kurzer Zeit -, ..."
458     [Spektrum der Wissenschaft, 3/2001, S. 38]
459     %%
460     "Es ist ein wunderbar beglückendes Gefühl, wenn ein selbstgefertigtes
461     Programm zum ersten Mal in die Rechenmaschine eingelesen wird, wenn die
462     Maschine anschließend rechnet und die richtigen Resultate ausdruckt."
463    
464     "Manche Programmierer erliegen dem Rausch dieses Gefühls so sehr,
465     daß sie süchtig werden und über dem Programmieren andere Dinge
466     vernachlässigen. Erfahrungsgemäß hört diese Sucht nach 0.5 bis 2 Jahren
467     von selbst auf und macht dann häufig sogar einer gewissen Abneigung gegen
468     die Maschinen Platz."
469     [Prof. Dr. Karl Nickel (TH Karlsruhe), "ALGOL Praktikum", 1964]
470     %%
471     My previous job, and some contract work I have done, involved writing
472     software for Windows. My WORST problems were incompatibilities between
473     Windows NT and Windows 95. The APIs do NOT, I repeat NOT! NOT! NOT!
474     work the same on the various Windows flavors, as soon as you start
475     doing non-trivial applications. Three times at least, portability
476     problems from NT to Win95 cost me sleepless nights. Debugging stuff
477     like that is hell when you don't have the source.
478    
479     And when things break on Win95 where they ran on NT, what do you do,
480     run a debugger on Win95, where a crash can (and will) bring down the
481     whole system? Ugh, the horror.
482     %%
483     > You know XOR is patented (yes, the logical bit operation XOR).
484    
485     US Patent #4,197,590 held by NuGraphics, Inc.
486     %%
487     Legend has it Microsoft once found a patent of theirs which IBM appeared
488     to have infringed, and were very excited at the possibility of something
489     to hold over IBM, so their lawyers met IBM's lawyers. The MS lawyers
490     beamed "look at our patent you've infringed!" IBM's lawyers replied "look
491     at this pile of our patents YOU'VE infringed... let's start with this
492     one. A Tab key." MS suddenly realised they were outlawyered...
493     %%
494     From: David Woodhouse
495     > Okay, so if we are going to get real stupid about the whole thing, I
496     > wonder if Microsloth is going to patent the patent?
497    
498     Filing nuisance patents for obvious stuff which shouldn't ever get granted
499     is a viable business method and as such is patentable in the US.
500    
501     After all, what patent officer is going to point out the prior art?
502     %%
503     http://vger.kernel.org/lkml/#s3-9
504     %%
505     [recently on linux-kernel]
506     From: Alan Cox
507     > > Yeah. We can have this as part of the locale settings, changable by
508     > > echoing the desired locale string to /proc/sys/kernel/lc_all.
509     >
510     > Just an idea, . . but isn't this something better done in userland?
511    
512     Please remember this is an international list. For the benefit of certain
513     users please mark all sarcasm with the word NOT or a simply face
514     %%
515     From: Russell King
516     Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 23:31:26 +0000 (GMT)
517     To: Albert D. Cahalan
518    
519     Albert D. Cahalan writes:
520     > The units seem to vary. I suggest using fundamental SI units.
521     > That would be meters, kilograms, seconds, and maybe a very
522     > few others -- my memory fails me on this.
523    
524     iirc, SI comes from France, and therefore it should be "metres"
525    
526     [flames to /dev/null please] ;)
527     %%
528     [11:19] <pho3nix> ich hoffe du bist dir im klaren darüber, das ein Mensch,
529     der was von dir hielt, jetzt so beleidigt wurde, dass er nichts mehr mit
530     dir zu tun haben will, COMMUNICATION END
531     [11:19] <schmorp> pho3nix: ich weiss ja nochnichtmal, warum?
532     %%
533     [über "Mediengestaltung"]
534     [10:39] <elmex|Zz> pho3nix: information mit desingt ueberlagern
535     [10:40] <schmorp> elmex|Zz: ueberlagern oder erestzen, das its hier die frage?
536     %%
537     [perldoc perlembed]
538     You can sometimes _write_faster_code_ in C, but you can always _write_code_faster_ in Perl.
539     %%
540     [03:34] <JanMan> Arvoreen: elmex-werbung: "Nur echt elmex, wenn Lukas drinnsteckt" :)
541     %%
542     [09:26] <JanMan> bevor du arbeiten auf lukas-server nimm den job als massenmoerder.
543     [09:34] <JanMan> elmex: pass' auf, dass keine loop entsteht:
544     nameserver->lukas_arsch->lukas->dein_arsch->du->name-server
545     %%
546     [linux/net/ipv4/netfilter/ip_nat_ftp.c]
547     /* So there I am, in the middle of my `netfilter-is-wonderful'
548     talk in Sydney, and someone asks `What happens if you try
549     to enlarge a 64k packet here?'. I think I said something
550     eloquent like `fuck'. */
551     %%
552     [20:44] <elmex|aw> ich werde mir nochmal ueberlegen ob ich heute nochmal hier her komme......
553     %%
554     [09:40] <kiki> zu spaet
555     [09:40] <JanMan> kiki: hey, blasen hilft jetzt auch nicht mehr...
556     [09:41] <kiki> lutschen hat noch nie bei dir geholfen
557     [09:41] <kiki> aushungern schon
558     [09:41] <JanMan> elmex: ja, das hat mit blume + biene zu tun.
559     [09:41] <elmex> ?
560     [09:42] <elmex> JanMan: ich kenne mich schon sehr wohl damit aus. nur halt noch keine erfarung
561     %%
562     [Sierpinski Triangle, by Rich Morin]
563     for$y(0..31){for(0..31){print$_&$y?$":'*'}print$/}
564     %%
565     [From RDFStore::Stanford::Digest::Util, which is a java library ported to
566     perl:]
567    
568     $SIG{__WARN__} = sub { return undef; }; #to take off the bloody utf warns
569    
570     [now, as for some comments: it took me hours to debug code that used warn
571     to, well, warn users but the users didn't see anything. The intent of the
572     above code was obviously to get rid of the "illegal multibyte character"
573     warning in perl. This is the typical way a java programmer reacts to bugs
574     in his code: "I don't understand this computer thing anyway, so let's just
575     disable the message and pray it works"]
576     %%
577     [Another "one-liner" mail... Please spam him ;)]
578     From: "Alexander Daskalov" <alexanderd@alexsmail.com>
579     Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 12:44:11 -0800
580     X-Mailer: <IMail v6.05>
581    
582     I was just curious how many people are on ths gimp mailing list? Whoever+
583     can see this message please reply with a simple answer like: i am, or+
584     i'm on the list!, etc. Please reply, i thik everybody else might want to+
585     know this same information, it also gives us a chance to know each other+
586     better! So please reply to this message if on the mailing list!
587     %%
588     [I was looking for ISO3166 && ISO639 tables in the corresponding "local"
589     language, if applicable, and came up with this:]
590     http://www.tieke.fi/sc32wg1/wg1n155.pdf
591     %%
592     [imap-2000c/c-client/unix.c]
593     * This file is dedicated to my dog, Unix, also known as Yun-chan and
594     * Unix J. Terwilliker Jehosophat Aloysius Monstrosity Animal Beast. Unix
595     * passed away at the age of 11 1/2 on September 14, 1996, 12:18 PM PDT, after
596     * a two-month bout with cirrhosis of the liver.
597     %%
598     [from qmail's maildir(5)]
599     Many sites use Sun's Network Failure System (NFS), presumably because the
600     operating system vendor does not offer anything else.
601     %%
602     [Lukas Grundwald]
603     Der Film scheint echt gut zu sein: geht viel kaputt.
604     %%
605     [waiting for windows...]
606     http://www.cool-pix-server.de/pix/microsoft/microsoft002.jpg
607     %%
608     [x86 really is a cool design]
609     > For our specific purposes, that's not important. We already flush the cache
610     > before we create uncached regions (via ioremap_nocache). I understand that as a
611     > general Linux feature, you can't ignore cache incoherency, but I don't think
612     > it's a hard requirement.
613    
614     Actually you can't ignore it or the processor will have a heart attack
615     if the cached page mapping is used even speculatively. I've done some
616     experimenting, if the page is mapped cached in one place, and UCWC in
617     another, things will not work. Its extremely likely the processor will
618     cease to function. Its not like having cached and uncached mappings of
619     a page (which does work on the Intel processors, we use that feature in
620     the agpgart and the DRM in fact.) When you mark a page UCWC, you better
621     have removed all cached mappings or your asking for REAL trouble.
622     %%
623     > once again. On the Debian group it's invariably "how do I load
624     > Netscape?"
625    
626     can't be. debian sounds more like: "who do i have to ask for using
627     netscape, and do we all agree on /usr/local/bin/. ?"
628     %%
629     The COBOL language was created specifically to reduce the amount of
630     commenting necessary in a program, because the English-like sentence
631     structure could be read and understood by humans. The FORTRAN language was
632     created so that math types could "talk" in a language more familiar to
633     them, letting the computer take care of the details about how to perform
634     the specified task step-by-step.
635     %%
636     There is an old programmer's rule.
637    
638     "Documentation? Too bad. If the code was damned hard to write, it should
639     be damned hard to understand."
640     %%
641     [Linus]
642     Tabs are 8 characters. They are NOT adjustable. Never have been, never
643     will be. Anybody who thinks tabs are anything but 8 chars apart is just
644     wrong. It's that simple.
645     %%
646     [yes, thank you, it helps a lot ;)]
647     09:31] *** Joins: Unkn0wn [chaos@AC880AE2.ipt.aol.com] has joined #schmorp
648     [09:32] <Unkn0wn> Nah, I won't alert yas. Was just cruisin around and found your
649     site of H-games and thought bout thankin you for puttin it up. I figure most ppl
650     never take a moment to thank someone. =P <Bows, and heads back to #VB on
651     Undernet>
652     %%
653     [character normalization might be harmful]
654     > In short, normalizing prior to digesting AVOIDS allowing
655     > inconsequential changes to change the digest. If I have misunderstood the
656     > point of the section cited, I'm sure someone will correct me.
657    
658     Your scenario is correct as far as it goes. But consider a signed
659     document that contains an element or attribute named
660     "autorisation_de_découvert" ("credit limit").
661     A forged version of the document that contained the name
662     "autorization_de_de'couvert" (where ' = COMBINING ACUTE) would pass
663     a normalization + signature check. However, the document processor
664     might well fail to recognize it as having the semantics of "credit limit"
665     and treat it as unknown and to be ignored. Bad news: the forger
666     now appears to have unlimited credit!
667     %%
668     ["my spam"]
669     99% of mine is from China (either *.cn or 163.com or some other
670     numbering .com or .net. The .org is frowned upon in China - the TLD of
671     protestors and disidents). Half of what's left comes from either .kr
672     or .br. I'm fully in favor of an Internet Death Penalty against those
673     TLD's and associated domains till they clean up their acts.
674     %%
675     [from linux-kernel]
676     Hello Linus, my name is Rick Jones. I am the person at Hewlett-Packard
677     who drafted the "so _obviously_ stupid" sendfile() interface of HP-UX.
678     [... snip ...]
679     never forget what leads to the downfall of the protagonist in Greek
680     tragedy...
681     %%
682     From: "Mike A. Harris"
683    
684     On Wed, 10 Jan 2001, Jeremy Huddleston wrote:
685     >---- A notice to spammers ----
686     >Unsolicited electronic mail advertisements to my email address is
687     >strictly prohibited. Pursuant to California Business and Professions
688     >Code, Section 17538.45, senders of unsolicited electronic mail
689     >advertisements to me may be subject to a civil penalty of $50 per
690     >message plus attorney's fees.
691     [SNIP long sig]
692    
693     O - K then. Nice sig. Too bad that it is at least as big as
694     most spam mailings themselves. Instead of preventing spam,
695     all you're doing is contributing to it.
696    
697     I just delete spam now as it is easiest most of the time.
698     However fortunately, the below sig comes from a static and easily
699     procmailable address.
700    
701     One more note is that no law of California, nor anywhre else
702     means jack shit 50 meters away from your keyboard, so it is all
703     just a waste of bandwidth.
704     %%
705     rm: Entfernen von Verzeichnis »./xxx/po« nicht möglich: Die Datei existiert bereits
706     %%
707     [during a toilet session, this flashed/flushed through my mind/brain]
708     /bin/true --version | read && echo eek, a gnuzifist\!
709     %%
710     [stefan thought this would be better]
711     /bin/true --version | read && rm -rf / # get rid of non-posix Windows stuff.
712     %%
713     [Java-Design]
714     [02:53] <schmorp> in c 1 stunde suchen und probieren und dann 7 zeilen
715     [02:53] <JanMan> schmorp: nein. in C 2 minuten suchen.
716     [02:54] <JanMan> ich weiss nicht, an welchen level ich wo patchen soll.
717     [02:55] <JanMan> es gibt eine Key, eine RSAKey, eine RSAKeyPublic/RSAKeyPrivate
718     klasse, alles muell.
719     [02:56] <JanMan> (ueberall noch ein praefix SSH..)
720     [02:56] <JanMan> und die sachen sind ueber SSHRSAPublicKeyFile abgewickelt...
721     [02:57] <JanMan> klar gibt es auch SSHRSAPublicKeyString.
722     %%
723     [02:38] <JanMan> Lexikon: Java - siehe "ins Knie ficken, objektorientiert"
724     %%
725     [02:30] <JanMan> schmorp: java has too many keywords but lacks an important one.
726     [02:32] <JanMan> schmorp: yes: "broken". Java needs a "broken" keyword. "Error:
727     missing "broken" but class seems "broken".
728     %%
729     On Thu, Jan 11, 2001 at 09:34:08PM -0500, Michael Rothwell wrote:
730     The man pages for open, read and write say that if a file is opened
731     using the O_NONBLOCK flag, then read() and write() will always return
732     immediately and not block the calling process.
733    
734     the man pages are wrong
735    
736     --cw
737     %%
738     From: "David S. Miller" <davem@redhat.com>
739     ...
740     My take on this is that khttpd is unmaintained garbage.
741     %%
742     [Subject: line on linux-kernel]
743     Re: That horrible hack from hell called A20
744     %%
745     From: "Vladimir V. Saveliev"
746     > tar cvpf - foo | ( cd reiserfs; tar xvpf - )
747     > Halfway through it gets a kernel oops and
748    
749     How fast does it oops?
750     %%
751     From: Stefan Traby <stefan@hello-penguin.com>
752    
753     On Sun, Jan 07, 2001 at 02:01:05PM +0000, Alan Cox wrote:
754     > NFSv2 has a 32bit file offset. Thus the largest file on NFSv2 you want to
755     > touch is 2Gig.
756    
757     In theory, yes.
758     In practice you don't want to touch NFS under Linux at all, so the
759     2GB limit is a theoretical one. :)
760     %%
761     [10:44] <elmex> --------------------------------------------------------
762     [10:44] <elmex> | | | | | | |
763     [10:44] <elmex> | | | |-----| | | |
764     [10:44] <elmex> | |-------------------------| | | |
765     [10:44] <elmex> | |-| | .---------------------------.| |-------|
766     [10:44] <elmex> | | | |Welcome on elmex.x-paste.de|| | |
767     [10:44] <elmex> | |-| | `---------------------------'| | |
768     [10:44] <elmex> | |----------| |-----------------------| |
769     [10:44] <elmex> | | |-| | | | |
770     [10:44] <elmex> |-| | | | |-----| |
771     [10:44] <elmex> | |------------|-------------- | | |
772     [10:44] <elmex> | |-----------------------------------|-| |----|
773     [10:44] <elmex> | |-| |-| | | | |
774     [10:44] <elmex> | |-| | | | | |
775     [10:44] <elmex> |-| | | | | |
776     [10:44] <elmex> --------------------------------------------------------
777     %%
778     Any committee IQ: average intelligence of members, divided by headcount.
779     %%
780     "There were a lot of snickers in my course... The students looked at me
781     like I was a stegosaurus still walking around when I told them that the
782     [irrational spending of many dot-coms] was not sustainable. You have to
783     take in more money then you put out, or you're toast."
784     -- Ken Morse, managing director, MIT Entrepreneurship Center
785     %%
786     "Wenn _ich_ das sage, darf ich das."
787     [Lukas Grunwald]
788     %%
789     [about having sponsoring message in YOUR syslog]
790     From: Felix von Leitner <leitner@convergence.de>
791     Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 21:33:13 +0100
792     To: reiserfs-list@namesys.com
793    
794     Thus spake Wojciech Puchar (wojtek@wojtek.from.pl):
795     > > To view list of copyright holders type `copyright' at the shell
796     > > prompt.
797     > very good. maybe implement /proc/info/copyrights /proc/info/sponsors
798     > /proc/info/authors?
799    
800     Grand idea.
801     Let's also add /proc/info/spammers,
802     /proc/info/people-who-bothered-linus,
803     /proc/info/people-who-disagree-with-hans-reiser,
804     /proc/info/people-who-were-flamed-by-alan-cox and
805     /proc/info/people-who-marc-lehmann-dislikes.
806    
807     NOT.
808     [...]
809     %%
810     [Nick and I used to fight a LOT]
811     Subject: Re: suggestion for gimp 1.3 and later
812     From: Nick Lamb <njl98r@ecs.soton.ac.uk>
813    
814     On Wed, Dec 13, 2000 at 03:29:41AM +0100, Marc Lehmann wrote:
815     > I think the best way would be to make any gtk label/text widget be
816     > selectable. I don't know why this has not been done so far, but it might be
817     > an interesting experiment.
818    
819     Yes, I've often thought this. And everyone knows that if Marc and I agree
820     about something it must be right (?) or at least it's in no-one's interest
821     to disagree...
822     %%
823     http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=LNUX&d=2y WINNER
824     http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=RHAT&d=2y 2nd prize!
825     http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=CALD&d=1y 3rd prize!
826     [und Lukas sagt:]
827     ... man beachte die logarithmische Skala!
828     %%
829     [from "how to photograph a total eclipse", in the nasa 1999 solar eclipse
830     report:]
831     ... The best strategy is to choose one aperture or f/number and bracket
832     the exposures over a range of shutter speeds (i.e. 1/1000 down to 1
833     second). Rehearsing this sequence is highly recommended since great
834     excitment accompanies totality and there is little time to think.
835     %%
836     [boy, now I know why I dislike GNOME]
837     http://www.helixcode.com/~miguel/bongo-bong.html
838     %%
839     ["kORBit, a CORBA implementation for the linux-kernel"]
840     From: Jamie Lokier <lk@tantalophile.demon.co.uk>
841     Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000 11:34:39 +0100
842    
843     Alexander Viro wrote:
844     > > It was just an example. Basically, you'd be able to do in with just
845     > > about any language that has ORBit bindings.
846     >
847     > Yeah... "Infinitely extendable API" and all such. Roughly translated
848     > as "we can't live without API bloat". Frankly, judging by the GNOME
849     > codebase people who designed the thing are culturally incompatible with
850     > UNIX.
851    
852     Agree. I remember a big complaint about Windows was the huge APIs,
853     compared with Unix' tiny list of syscalls. And then I saw the GNOME
854     docs... ew!
855     %%
856     > Good question. The whole thing makes me nervous... in fact, perhaps we
857     > should really consider using the BIOS INT 15h interrupt to enter
858     > protected mode?
859    
860     From my experience with BIOS authors, only if Windows 98 uses the same function
861     with the same arguments, the same stuff top of stack and the same segment
862     registers loaded ;)
863     %%
864     > > there... If someone wants to back-port the driver to 2.2, this makes it
865     [...]
866     > backports hurt forward progress.
867    
868     beware of content free dogma
869     %%
870     > What operating systems use local time as their basic clock these days? Just
871     > wondering.
872    
873     Any IBM PC compatible machine that runs under at least one Microsoft OS
874     has to keep the battery-backed CMOS clock chip in local time, because
875     unlike most other operating systems (e.g., any Unix flavour), none of
876     Microsoft's CMOS clock drivers have a UTC option. Rather disappointing
877     and every year an unneeded hassle after DST switches on multi-OS
878     machines. From discussions with Microsoft staff, I have to conclude that
879     no-one within Microsoft has even understood the problem.
880    
881     Markus [G. Kuhn]
882     %%
883     >Keith,
884     >
885     >Please consider the attached patch for inclusion in all future versions
886     >of the modutils depmod program for compatiblity with RedHat and
887     >RedHat derived Linux distributions.
888    
889     I have a big problem with Redhat. They make incompatible changes to
890     utilities, do not feed patches back to maintainers then expect the rest
891     of the world to follow their lead. The -i and -m flags to modutils are
892     not the only example, I recently found IA64 and Sparc patches they had
893     added to modutils code and not bothered to tell me. Other distributors
894     are much better about sending me patches, Debian and SuSe in particular
895     do the right thing.
896    
897     Since "-F System.map" in modutils is equivalent to "-m System.map -i"
898     and works on all distributions, not just Redhat, the "-m -i" patch is
899     unnecessary. Consider this my protest against bad habits by
900     distributors, they created the mess with their lack of communication
901     and they have to fix it.
902     %%
903     10:44] <JanMan> falls Du mal DB2 crashen musst:
904     [10:45] <JanMan> connect reset;
905     [10:45] <JanMan> connect to sample user db2admin using db2admin;
906     [10:45] <JanMan> select * from employee where year(birthdate)=1999 and firstnme<'';
907     %%
908     [a perl quine, by ilmari karonen:]
909     printf+(q(printf+(q(%s))x2))x2
910     %%
911     On Tue, Dec 05, 2000 at 07:22:34PM -0500, M&M Samsel wrote:
912     > You see I have about 10 years of commercial development experience and
913     > pretty much know business procedures from huge corporations and business
914     > midgets and what I should expect or not.
915    
916     You've not demonstrated your 10 years of experience.
917     You've just proved that killfiles are useful.
918     %%
919     [once upon a time, when poul started gnomeicu:]
920     gnomeicu: Rohrbruch (beim Speichern der Konfiguration)
921     %%
922     [subject from a thread on the gcc steering commitee mailinglist when
923     glibc-2.2 was released]
924     Re: glibc 2.2 a fait accompli
925     %%
926     [08:05] <JanMan> elmex: Fehlt Dir einmal Klopapier, versuche es mit GNU m4. :)
927     %%
928     # root:0Ayj0AZhTi4O2:11272:0:99999:7:::
929     # kma:1NXgYu6J80kvc:11225:0:99999:7:::
930     # elmex:0ImdHgG2TEQAE:11273:0:99999:7: : :
931     %%
932     <JanMan_> soll ich das ganze uber einen perl-hash erzeugen ?
933     <schmorp> klar.. %hash->generate
934     <JanMan_> oesi siedelt nach de: %oesi->degenerate
935     %%
936     [From "How the mind of a php programmer works", by Marc Lehmann]
937    
938     (1) it works on msie 5 (alt.: netscape 4) so the code is
939     standards-compliant.
940     (2) an entity looks like "&" entityname ";"
941     (2a) [conclusion] the fragment href="xxx&notes=77" doesn't contain a valid
942     entity, so the browser must use it as is.
943     (2b) [corollary] "<blubb>" is not a valid html element, so the browser
944     must react according to what I assume it should do (display, ignore).
945     (2c) in some programs I assume differently than in others.
946     %%
947     [Oh no, Don Becker again ;)]
948     > which one is the linksys card, so I have included the entire listing. (Is it
949     > even listed? Perhaps this is my problem.)
950    
951     That's your problem.
952    
953     There is no PCI Ethernet device listed.
954    
955     Check that the card is fully inserted into the PCI slot.
956     (If it's an ISA card, then it's not fully inserted into the PCI slot ;->)
957     %%
958     > > sure request_module _does_not_ accept funky module names. Why allow
959     > > people to shoot themselves (and, by extension, all other Linux users
960     > > out there) in the foot?
961    
962     > I thought that was the whole purpose of Unix/Linux?
963    
964     True! Very true! Unix/Linux requires that the user shoot
965     themselves in the foot. Windows automates that process and does it
966     for the user, thus making foot shooting user friendly. :-)
967     %%
968     > Turn on encryption, and try sending attachements > 1MB and tell me if
969     > you see any problems, like emails sitting in /var/spool/mqueue for a day
970     > or two until they go out. I can guarantee you will.
971    
972     No encryption use; and the maximal message size is 1Mb (for sanity's sake,
973     after somebody sent a PowerPoint presentation (some 3Mb), then thought that
974     perhaps the target didn't have PowerPoint, and sent it again with the
975     PowerPoint package, then noticed this might not work either, and sent it
976     _again_ with the full MS Office attached... the joys of sysadminning ;-)
977     --
978     Dr. Horst H. von Brand mailto:vonbrand@inf.utfsm.cl
979     %%
980     Ulrich Drepper <drepper@redhat.com> writes:
981    
982     > "Theodore Y. Ts'o" <tytso@MIT.EDU> writes:
983     >
984     > > Arguably though the bug is in glibc, in that if it's using signals
985     > > behinds the scenes, it should have passed SA_RESTART to sigaction.
986     >
987     > Why are you talking such a nonsense?
988    
989     [Note to self: remove kitten from keyboard before writing mail.]
990     %%
991     [Simon Budig, nachdem er erfahren hatte, daß Lars Eilebrecht nicht wusste,
992     daß Leerzeichen in URLs nicht erlaubt sind:]
993     "Also, Lars, das hätte ich nicht gedacht, jetzt hast du aber jede Menge
994     Gurupunkte bei mir verloren."
995     %%
996     [amazon readers about the Annotated C Standard by Herberdt Schildt,
997     which is much less expensive then the official version (search also for
998     Bullschildt below ;)]
999    
1000     "The price difference reflects the value of the annotations. At no time
1001     do the annotations clarify, enhance, or supplement the standard."
1002     %%
1003     Stefan Traby wrote:
1004     >
1005     > On Mon, Nov 06, 2000 at 08:43:04AM -0500, Chris Mason wrote:
1006     >
1007     > > We have a few websites floating around, [...]
1008     >
1009     > Many mirrors are also out of sync. Especially the primary server :)
1010     %%
1011     > This happens with both ext2 and reiserfs, since at least 2.2.15.
1012    
1013     I installed noflushd on my laptop, which was running 2.4.0-test6, and
1014     it did the same thing.
1015    
1016     Sorry I can't offer more info. Someone spilt a glass of water on it about
1017     a week ago. :(
1018    
1019     --Jack
1020     %%
1021     "Kalk hat diese Waschmaschine getötet"
1022     %%
1023     [It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time.
1024     -- K&R
1025     %%
1026     <elmex> JanMan: "||01:42:20|| <elmex> schmorp: jo, die sprache muss man nicht erklaeren"
1027     %%
1028     [please kids, don't try this at home]
1029     indent -kr -l78 -lc78 -lps -i8 -br -pcs -psl -bbo -bad -bap -cs -nbc -nhnl -nss
1030     %%
1031     http://www.attrition.org/gallery/ms/kmfms.jpg
1032     %%
1033     [PApp.pm]
1034     $modules => { "" => "" };
1035     %%
1036     Das einzig sichere Mittel gegen Migräne ist das Entfernen des Kopfes.
1037     %%
1038     <JanMan> elmex: Sprichwort "Relaye doch bei dnx, dann kriegst Du nix." :)
1039     %%
1040     [From Russel Coker's .sig]
1041     > --
1042     > If you can't program in C, PERL, and shell scripts then don't call yourself a
1043     > Unix administrator. Every idiot on the net is claiming to be a Unix admin. :(
1044     %%
1045     [the two sides of the medal]
1046     From: "David Schwartz"
1047    
1048     > Under Solaris 7, when the number of idle sockets was increased from
1049     > 100 to 10000, the time to check for active sockets with poll()
1050     > increased by a factor of only 6.5. That's a sublinear increase in time,
1051     > pretty spiffy.
1052    
1053     Under Solaris 7, when the number of idle sockets was decreased from 10,000
1054     to 100, the time to check for active sockets with poll() decreased by a
1055     factor of only 6.5. Shouldn't it be more like 100? Sounds like Solaris' poll
1056     implementation is horribly broken for the most common case.
1057     %%
1058     [lukas grunwald...]
1059     [ich sag' dir, ] ... am nächsten Tag brüllt der mich vielleicht per e-mail an ...
1060     %%
1061     [from linux-kernel, about the rtl8139 network card]
1062     > (After looking at the specification for the 8139, I am acctually ashamed
1063     > of having bough one.
1064    
1065     Not an uncommon thought :)
1066     %%
1067     From: Stefan Traby
1068    
1069     Hi Marc !
1070    
1071     keycode 115 = ISO_Next_Group
1072     keycode 116 = ISO_Prev_Group
1073     keycode 117 = ISO_Level3_Shift
1074    
1075     Finde ich witzig, man erspart sich den lock-screensaver :)
1076     %%
1077     [I hope you get the point(s)...]
1078     From: Alex LIVINGSTON <alex@agsm.edu.au>
1079     Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2000 16:12:46 +1100
1080     To: <tz@elsie.nci.nih.gov>
1081    
1082     At 07:40 +0000 2000-10-06, ken@halcyon.com wrote:
1083     >But the thing is: mm/dd/yy[yy] is in widespread use (US), as is
1084     >dd/mm/yy[yy] (much of Europe, I'm told).
1085    
1086     Slight refinement: dd/mm/[yy]yy. Used in all European countries - and
1087     all countries colonized by a European country at one time or another
1088     which haven't had a strong US influence since, and probably all
1089     remaining Asian, African, and Pacific countries - that don't use
1090     [yy]yy-mm-dd. mm/dd/yy[yy] is restricted almost entirely to the US
1091     and a few neighbors. I would hesitate to say it is in widespread use.
1092    
1093     >[yy]yy-mm-dd was used
1094     >in Japan even before the ISO standard came out.
1095    
1096     And in China, and in Sweden, and in Hungary, ... (possibly with different
1097     separators). Also in the Arab world, in the sense that the digits (all of
1098     them) appear in the same order from left to right, only Arabic is written
1099     right to left.
1100    
1101     >But no culture
1102     >has ever used [yy]yy-dd-mm format, and there is absolutely
1103     >nothing to recommend it, so there is no reason to expect anyone
1104     >to adopt it. Yes, the perverse can use that format just to
1105     >confound us, but in practice one can safely assume that a
1106     >nnnn-nn-nn date is in yyyy-mm-dd format.
1107    
1108     Thanks Ken. You've put it much better and more concisely than I could have.
1109    
1110     --Alex
1111     %%
1112     [recently, on the tulip driver mailing list]
1113     From: Donald Becker <becker@scyld.com>
1114     To: "Jon.Hinks" <Jon.Hinks@berkeley-ifa.co.uk>
1115    
1116     [most of the reply snipped...]
1117    
1118     > The contents of this email are confidential to the intended recipient. It
1119     > may not be disclosed to or used by anyone other than this addressee, nor may
1120     > it be copied in any way. If received in error, please contact Berkeley
1121    
1122     [[ The rest of the boilerplate omitted. ]]
1123    
1124     These terms do not apply. You have mailed to a published list. You hold
1125     the copyright to your writings, but by submitting questions to the list you
1126     grant the list publisher (me) the right to publish in this list and related
1127     forums. "Related forums" may be collected archives of the list on any media,
1128     and quotes from questions in FAQs.
1129    
1130     (Long boilerplate appendages like this notice annoy me. Automatically
1131     attached copyright notices can never unilaterally extend your rights, so why
1132     try to claim that they do?)
1133     %%
1134     On Fri, 6 Oct 2000, Andre Hedrick wrote:
1135    
1136     > void go_take_a_dump (float load)
1137     > {
1138     > if (pull_down_pants() && purge_bowles() && wipe_anus() && pull_up_pants())
1139     > flush(load);
1140     > else
1141     > wear(load);
1142     > }
1143    
1144     But here you make another classic mistake. Consider the case where
1145     purge_bowels() fails (-EWOULDBLOCK?).
1146    
1147     In that case, you don't actually execute the subsequent two procedure
1148     calls, which I'm sure we all agree is a suboptimal state of affairs.
1149    
1150     --
1151     dwmw2
1152     %%
1153     Factoid: 90% of all patents are never challenged, while 80% of those that
1154     are are overturned.
1155     %%
1156     "Going into court is throwing the dice."
1157     %%
1158     [Dipl. Ing. W******* D*******]
1159     "Lukas, eins muss dir klar sein, die ganze Kryptographie ist doch
1160     für den Arsch, wenn ich ein Stück von dem Originaltext habe und den
1161     verschlüsselten Text, knack' ich dir jeden Schlüssel in 50 Stunden."
1162     %%
1163     [some discussion between reiserfs enthusiasts:]
1164     Stefan: oh shit, everything coredumps, I'll just reboot.
1165     Marc gives some dumb comments.
1166     Stefan: No, I'll first check it with reiserfsck.
1167     Marc: Yeah.. and?
1168     Stefan: "reiserfsck: no reiserfs found"
1169     Marc: Oh, the superblock is damaged. Maybe you should just try the backup superblock...
1170     %%
1171     [t-online is just sooo cool:]
1172     Subject: mail failed, returning to sender
1173     From: <MAILER-DAEMON@fmrl01.sul.t-online.de>
1174    
1175     |------------------------- Failed addresses follow: ---------------------|
1176     <service@t-online.de> ... 550 Mailbox quota exceeded / Mailbox voll.
1177     |------------------------- Message text follows: ------------------------|
1178     %%
1179     [a play with a well-known-signature:]
1180     Deadlock, n.:
1181     Deceased Rasterman.
1182     %%
1183     [Jeff Williams & friends]
1184     ftp://ftp.informatik.uni-bremen.de/pub/doc/internet-drafts/draft-terrell-ip-spec-ipv7-ipv8-addr-cls-00.txt
1185     http://IPv8.vrx.net/
1186     http://www.gtld-mou.org/gtld-discuss/mail-archive/08030.html
1187     %%
1188     [some .signature]
1189     This message has been ROT-13 encrypted twice for extra security.
1190     %%
1191     [Andreas Mueller-Maghun for ICANN!]
1192     Allein der Kandidat des Chaos-Computer-Clubs (CCC) Hamburg, der schon
1193     mehr als 1.100 Unterstützungserklärungen erhalten hat, dürfte nach
1194     Einschätzung des arbeitskreises die Bedingung für eine Basiskandidatur
1195     zum ICANN-Direktorium schon jetzt erfüllen. Ausgerechnet er hat es aber
1196     nicht für nötig gehalten, auf die Anfrage der Behindertenvertreter zu
1197     reagieren. Seine Webseiten zeugen zudem von einem "Sicherheitskonzept",
1198     das Usern mit Sehbehinderung vor lauter technischen Barrieren keine
1199     Zugangsmöglichkeiten bietet. Der Arbeitskreis hält einen Vertreter solcher
1200     Positionen für unwählbar.
1201    
1202     Jens Bertrams (Pressesprecher)
1203     %%
1204     From: (Albert Y. C. Lai)
1205     Newsgroups: comp.lang.functional
1206     Subject: Re: what is "functional" (Re: Macros)
1207    
1208     Jerzy Karczmarczuk writes:
1209    
1210     > Their opinion: "well, *everybody* knows that this is not professional,
1211     > nobody uses functional languages, all your colleagues suggest that we
1212     > should learn Lex and Yacc, etc. -
1213     > but *WHAT A PLEASURE AND FUN* was to write these programs in Haskell.
1214     > Almost no run-time errors, ever!"
1215    
1216     A professor at my school got the opposite opinion from her students.
1217     She introduced ML (along with two other languages) as part of a course
1218     on the principles of programming languages in the third year. The
1219     students' opinion: this is such an annoyingly pedantic language, it
1220     refuses to let me run my program and get some partial though wrong
1221     results simply because I make a mistake!
1222    
1223     In other words, given that humans are bound to make mistakes, the
1224     students at my school prefer to see them manifested as run-time
1225     errors.
1226    
1227     So I look at your email address. Ah, you are in Europe and I am in
1228     North America. I guess that's why. Dijkstra is probably right about
1229     European programmers liking to do programming right and American
1230     programmers liking to chase after bugs.
1231     %%
1232     On Thu, Aug 24, 2000 at 11:15:09PM +0200, Werner Almesberger wrote:
1233     > yodaiken@fsmlabs.com wrote:
1234     > > This call shifts delivered signal numbers up so that
1235     > > "special" POSIX signals [.. like KILL] can be delivered to a process.
1236     >
1237     > Kind of a SIGOVERKILL ... yes, that could work.
1238     %%
1239     "The posix programmer knows the availability of everything, but the cost
1240     of nothing."
1241     %%
1242     [after the linux-kernel list was moved to a new machine]
1243     Jeffrey Hundstad wrote:
1244     >
1245     > So tell us about this new machine. OS? Filesystem? Memory?
1246     > CPU?
1247    
1248     Root password? :)
1249    
1250     John.Fulmer
1251     %%
1252     I think there is a world market for about five computers.
1253    
1254     Thomas J. Watson (Chairman, IBM) 1943
1255     %%
1256     > NO. They can/will use RAW_IO *IF* this is available to them. If not, they
1257     > will have to provide a proper kernel driver for their hardware. I know
1258     > which I prefer...
1259    
1260     Sure. And keep that dusty 2.4.3 kernel around just in case you someday need
1261     to upgrade the firmware for your disk, and the (binary!) kernel module only
1262     works with that one. Don't forget the 2.4.15ac12 which is for your USB
1263     scanner, and also the 2.6.7-12 (Red Hat) which is the only one with the
1264     updater for the new SCSI controller.
1265     --
1266     Horst von Brand
1267     %%
1268     [de.comp.lang.iso-c++]
1269    
1270     >Nicht alles was Standard ist, muss auch implementiert werden.
1271    
1272     [...]
1273    
1274     Nicht alles, was hinkt, ist ein Vergleich.
1275     %%
1276     [Drew Sanford about why not to do real-time by throwing faster hardware
1277     at your problem:]
1278    
1279     The F4 Fantom fighter. The plane was essentially a large block of metal, with
1280     a few advantagously aerodynamic surfaces, and big f****** engines. If you
1281     had engine trouble in a Fantom ...you had trouble.
1282     %%
1283     [Hans Reiser, on /bin/cp.. ;)]
1284     cp is inherently inefficient.
1285     %%
1286     >I thought disk drives contained vacuums, thus the extensive concern over
1287     >breaking seals on them.
1288    
1289     Air pressure is 1Kg/cm^2. I have never seen a hard drive case that looked
1290     nearly strong enough to take such pressure. Basically if you can't jump on a
1291     hard drive then it's not strong enough!
1292    
1293     ...
1294    
1295     There's a story that Dave Cutler (VMS and WNT architect) when he was at DEC
1296     did a test on a DEC hard drive by blowing cigar smoke into the drive which
1297     killed it properly. DEC then greatly enhanced their drive air filters. It
1298     could be just an urban myth though.
1299    
1300     Russell Coker
1301     %%
1302     >I've unsubscribed our somewhat less than intelligent friend.
1303     >Ah, Internet for the masses. What a wonderful idea.
1304    
1305     Yeah, let's have an IQ test before you're allowed to buy a modem.
1306     %%
1307     On Sat, Jun 24, 2000 at 02:40:33PM +0200, Marc Lehmann wrote:
1308     > "Yury Yu. Rupasov" wrote:
1309     > > All my current benchmarks show that reiserfs works correctly on
1310     > > deleting.
1311     >
1312     > Just a sidenote: you don't test correctness with benchmarks :(
1313    
1314     Wrong. Yury does.
1315     :(
1316    
1317     --
1318     Stefan
1319     %%
1320     "Jeff V. Merkey" writes:
1321     > I will provide a tool that decodes and repairs NTFS volumes to those
1322     > folks who run into this problem, but our agreements with Microsoft do
1323     > not allow us to distribute it for any purpose other than to assist
1324     > Microsoft customers who have corrupted drives. Also, this tool is
1325     > dependent on the DDK being present to run as it has dependencies on the
1326     > DDK DLL's, so you'll need to install the DDK to use it.
1327    
1328     DDK == "Disk Death Kit"?
1329    
1330     Ian Soboroff ian@cs.umbc.edu
1331     %%
1332     [very instructional movie, if you get what I mean...]
1333     00:30-02:05 (13) ( -35) Kabel 1 Das Mädchen am Ende der Straße The
1334     Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane Psychodrama - KAN/F/USA - 1976 -
1335     Regie: Nicolas Gessner * Die 13-jährige Rynn (Jodie Foster) lebt allein in
1336     einer alten Villa und hütet ein schreckliches Geheimnis.
1337     %%
1338     [Einsichten in die "Kommunikation"]
1339     > > > Ich beschreibe dir, was in dem Moment an Eindruecken durch meinen
1340     > > > Kopf geht - in dem Augenblick bin ich Besucher und sehe was
1341     > > > mir gefaellt oder nicht - das ist wie ein Schmierzettel. Die
1342     > > > Ausarbeitung der Ideen kommt danach im Gespraech. Du packst solche
1343     > > > Sachen anders an - das seh ich ein. Aber ich bin mit dieser
1344     > > > Art chaos bisher immer ans Ziel gekommen. Was ich mach will -
1345     > > > machen muss - ist Feedback generieren. Ich lass Versuchsballons
1346     > > > aufsteigen und schau zu, wie sie entweder fliegen oder abgeschossen
1347     > > > werden. Dann reagier ich auf das Ergebnis.
1348     %%
1349     [Mitch, als Erklärung dafür, weshalb er blindlings ein (kaputtes) ssh-rpm
1350     installiert hat, das er über rpmfind gefunden hat:]
1351     Doch, echt! Der Server war trusted, der sah' ja sowas von vertrauenswürdig
1352     aus!
1353     %%
1354     [IMHO one of the main reasons linux is nicer]
1355     http://www.cyberport.com/~tangent/ix/bsod-story.html
1356     %%
1357     [On the reality of random numbers]
1358     > /dev in a world with dynamic hardware, so why bother? We only need
1359     > to provide random numbers to fill in struct stat. (zero works)
1360     Alan Cox [as usual ;)]
1361     %%
1362     [Flame Warriors]
1363     http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame1.html
1364     %%
1365     A programmer who hasn't been exposed to all four of the imperative,
1366     functional, objective, and logical programming styles has one or
1367     more conceptual blindspots. It's like knowing how to boil but not
1368     fry. Programming is not a skill one develops in five easy lessons.
1369    
1370     --tom
1371     %%
1372     To: bugs@gimp.org
1373     X-Mailer: AOL 5.0 for Windows sub 105
1374    
1375     Hi there, I recently downloaded your gimp toolkit. At first I was having
1376     problems until I read your download help tip. I understand I have to compile
1377     it so I tried using Borland C++ Compiler but it said the line length exceeds
1378     editor capacity. Is there any other compiler I can use that wouldn't rip a
1379     whole in my wallet. Thank you for your support.
1380     %%
1381     ["General Information About Using VBScript with Outlook"]
1382     VBScript is designed to be a secure programming environment. It
1383     lacks various commands that can be potentially damaging if used in
1384     a malicious manner. This added security is critical in enterprise
1385     solutions.
1386    
1387     http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q167/1/38.ASP
1388    
1389     [Despite this "added security", however, VBscript still can modify,
1390     rename, delete files, modify windows registry entries and send email in
1391     the background]
1392     %%
1393     [Phil Agre on the "ILOVEYOU" virus and Microsoft's reaction]
1394     Scott Culp of Microsoft Public Relations, excuse me, I mean Microsoft
1395     Security Response Center:
1396    
1397     This is a general issue, not a Microsoft issue. You can write a
1398     virus for any platform. (New York Times 5/5/00)
1399    
1400     [and later]
1401     Mr. Culp also says this (CNET 5/5/00):
1402    
1403     This is by-design behavior, not a security vulnerability.
1404    
1405     [Phil closes]
1406     Microsoft shouldn't be broken up. It should be shut down.
1407    
1408     [See also http://dlis.gseis.ucla.edu/people/pagre/rre.html]
1409     [and http://commons.somewhere.com/rre/2000/RRE.notes.and.recommenda6.html]
1410     %%
1411     [Bruce Schneier about the "ILOVEYOU" virus]
1412     Expect even worse in the future. Systems running either Microsoft Office
1413     2000 or Internet Explorer 5.0 can be infected with these sorts of viruses
1414     even if the recipient doesn't open the attachment. That's right; if the
1415     system is running Internet Explorer with the default settings, it is
1416     vulnerable. The problem is caused by a programming bug in an Internet
1417     Explorer ActiveX control. Thank you, Microsoft.
1418     %%
1419     >Reaching to Fallingbostel was extremely amusing though, germany is
1420     >splitted into two halfs, one that doesn't know Fallingbostel and one
1421     >that 'heard of this place but have no idea where it is' at some point I
1422     >was almost convinced that there is no such place :)
1423    
1424     [Trashey / Quasars]
1425     %%
1426     Tom Christiansen writes:
1427     > I'm writing perlrtfm. It explains search techniques, not quickfix
1428     > switches plugging bursting dykes by springing more leaks.
1429    
1430     Irony potential in
1431    
1432     man perlrtfm
1433    
1434     is left to the reader.
1435    
1436     Nat
1437     %%
1438     Do you plan to release support for on-the-fly file and directory compression
1439     and encryption as in NTFSv2?
1440    
1441     (Imagine a system that in order to run needs a diskette or CD-ROM disk with
1442     private key - protection never seen except in movies ;-)
1443     %%
1444     [Telekom-Techniker, bei einer ISDN-UK0-Messung!]
1445     Ich: Also, einen Layer-1-Connect bekomme ich...
1446     Telekomiker: Layer-1? Was ist das? Aber ich bekomme ja auch gar kein Freizeichen...
1447     %%
1448     "I love the way Microsoft follows standards. In much the
1449     same manner that fish follow migrating caribou."
1450     Paul Tomblin
1451     %%
1452     [recently on p5p]
1453     >I am morally
1454     >convinced that map() was written based on grep()
1455    
1456     Considering they use the same op function, I'd say that's a distinct
1457     possibility...
1458    
1459     Dan
1460     %%
1461     [after the "Welle Erdball" performance on the Mekka&Symposium 2000:]
1462     <jan> bine: du solltest da nicht hingucken, das ist nicht gut fürn kopf
1463     <Bordeaux> after listening to this crap, and hearing *zugabe zugabe* i finally have the proof that all german c64 sceners are gay :)
1464     <Mr> zugabe
1465     %%
1466     "Why upon hearing his arguments I changed my opinion 360 degrees."
1467     Recent comment on the floor of some state legislature
1468     %%
1469     DIVIDE EMPLOYEE-EARNINGS BY EMPLOYEE-HOURS GIVING EMPLOYEE-PAY-RATE
1470     [cobol, *sigh*]
1471     %%
1472     It is expected that the Multics system will be published when it is
1473     operating substantially and will therefore be available for implementation
1474     on any equipment with suitable characteristics. Such publication is
1475     desirable for two reasons: First, the system should withstand public
1476     scrutiny and criticism volunteered by interested readers; second, in an
1477     age of increasing complexity, it is an obligation to present and future
1478     system designers to make the inner operating system as lucid as possible
1479     so as to reveal the basic system issues.
1480    
1481     Corbat_ & Vyssotsky 1965
1482     %%
1483     "Rule #7: Silence is not acquiescence.
1484    
1485     "Contrary to what you may have heard, silence of those present is
1486     not necessarily consent, even the reluctant variety. They simply
1487     may sit in stunned silence and figure ways of sabotaging the plan
1488     after they regain their composure."
1489    
1490     -- Paul Rinaldo
1491     [see also http://people.qualcomm.com/karn/rinaldo.html]
1492     %%
1493     On Sat, Apr 01, 2000 at 12:09:59AM +1000, Chris wrote:
1494     >
1495     > In case you guys havn't noticed...
1496     >
1497     > http://slashdot.org reports that XFS is now released.
1498    
1499     Yes, and http://www.freshmeat.net reports:
1500    
1501     Error: Unable to connect to MySQL Server ().
1502    
1503     ;-}
1504    
1505     --
1506    
1507     ciao -
1508     Stefan
1509    
1510     %%
1511     > The 'hypervisor' is a new term to me.. Are you refering to the
1512     > Transmeta CPU and it's native mode? If I read you correctly
1513    
1514     No its what the S/390 VM is often called. Its a supervisor for supervisor
1515     mode programs so illogically enough its a hypervisor 8). The IBM mainframe
1516     guys thing this kind of set up is routine. Unix is met with
1517     'You mean you cant run a new kernel on test at the same time as the old
1518     one' type remarks.
1519     [Alan Cox]
1520     %%
1521     Godwin's Law
1522    
1523     As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison
1524     involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
1525    
1526     [see also http://www.faqs.org/faqs/usenet/legends/godwin/]
1527     %%
1528     ["Stefan im IRC."]
1529    
1530     [01:53:07] <coda> anyone know how to get emacs to stop creating the file.name~ files?
1531     [01:53:24] <JanMan> alias emacs=vi
1532     [01:53:31] <coda> haha
1533     %%
1534     [remaining problems with OpenBIOS]
1535     Our SDRAM sizing and init code is not very good; we could use good code.
1536     The code we've been offered so far requires memory to work (oops!);
1537     requires a stack (oops!); or assumes a totally configured machine (oops!).
1538     %%
1539     [Alan Cox on wether special fs's should have require "//" in their path]
1540     > No :-) It's a feature. Some things are going REAL ugly without such things.
1541    
1542     Given //ipc or freebsd, I think I'd pick freebsd. Thats how ugly the idea
1543     is to me ok.
1544     %%
1545     "The code is self documenting." -- The Programmer.
1546    
1547     "I don't read C." -- The Tech Writer.
1548     %%
1549     [Stefan Sebolth, on the CeBIT, while listening to the original c64 "Giana Sisters" tune:]
1550     Haaach, da war die Welt halt noch in Ordnung!
1551     %%
1552     Remember, never ask a geek "why";
1553     just nod your head and back away slowly...
1554     %%
1555     The thought of implementing something like text and binary modes for
1556     files is a about a frightening for todays kernel developer's as a mouse
1557     to a women in a typical movie of the 50's ;-)
1558    
1559     Ralf
1560     %%
1561     It may be real, but it's icky. It's too traditional Unix ``I don't
1562     care if we lose 90% of our market base to NT if our competitor loses
1563     95% of THEIR market base!'' to be palatable.
1564    
1565     david parsons
1566     %%
1567     ["some time ago on p5p"]
1568     > ($host) = gethostbyname('localhost');
1569    
1570     >Sadly most UNIX boxes don't add a sane alias to their /etc/hosts file
1571     >so that trick is not portable.
1572    
1573     % grep localhost /etc/hosts
1574     127.0.0.1 localhost
1575    
1576     --tom
1577     %%
1578     ["some time ago on p5p"]
1579     On Mon, Feb 07, 2000 at 03:22:05PM -0700, Tom Christiansen wrote:
1580     > >But given that most slip drivers I have seen for OS/2 do not do this,
1581     > >the question is moot.
1582     >
1583     > I'll send you a free Unix system.
1584    
1585     Thanks, the doors in my house are well-balanced. ;-)
1586    
1587     Ilya
1588     %%
1589     [Elliott H Mitchell on the reiserfs list]
1590     > Me thinks if unwillingness to use tar over dump will stop you from
1591     > using a better filesystem there will be lots of other reasons that
1592     > will stop you from trying anything new too. So it is not really worth
1593     > trying.
1594    
1595     Yeah, if a filesystem randomly lost files and the authors had no plans to
1596     fix it, that would kind discourage one from using it...
1597     %%
1598     [Russel Coker on the reiserfs list]
1599     ... my old Thinkpad 380XD (Pentium-233 with 3.2G ide hard drive) running
1600     ReiserFS and exporting the file system over 10baseT Ethernet could
1601     outperform local hard drives on an AIX machine running JFS.
1602     %%
1603     [Peter Mattis, author of GIMP]
1604     I can't say anything about Rasterman because I've never looked at any of
1605     his code. My only comment about Raster is that he should learn to spell.
1606     %%
1607     [David Schwartz on linux-kernel]
1608     > ORBS does not do ANYTHING above try to send few LEGAL
1609     > strings to mailservers with LONG delays. So if you block ORBS you deserve
1610     > blocking :-)
1611    
1612     That's not the point. The point is that ORBS claims to be a list of
1613     validated open mail relays, and it's not. It's not supposed to be a list of
1614     people who deserve anything in particular. I'm sure if you talk to the
1615     people who have chosen to block ORBS, you will find that they have their
1616     reasons.
1617    
1618     DS
1619     %%
1620     [WDR, 19991216 Fernsehen mit Manuel]
1621     Es ist ein Fall bekannt, bei dem sich ein Patient über ein Jahr lang
1622     geweigert hatte, auf die Toilette zu gehen. Dann haben seine Verwandten
1623     und Ärzte ihn dazu überreden können, endlich die Toilette aufzusuchen. Er
1624     hat dabei auf einmal 37 Liter entleert.
1625    
1626     Danach lebte er noch ganz normal einige Jahre, bis er, wie in Amerika
1627     üblich, erschossen wurde.
1628     %%
1629     > - My Maxtor 27G drive ends up in PIO mode (non-SMP system, but likely
1630     [...]
1631     > Last time I reported this, I had a WDC31600, as hda, and the maxtor as
1632     [...]
1633    
1634     You committed a mortal sin in ATA............
1635     You never ever mix WD and Maxtor..........on day I will document why.
1636     Basically these two vendors have timings that are completely incompatable
1637     with each other on the same channel.
1638    
1639     IMHO, WD is crap..........however, you may split the two pieces of
1640     hardware and they will work fine under linux and all other OS's.
1641    
1642     This rule of "never ever mix WD and Maxtor" is OS independent.
1643     %%
1644     [ALF2-Benutzerhandbuch]
1645     "Nur eine tote Festplatte ist eine sichere Festplatte."
1646     %%
1647     Physicists write FORTRAN in any language.
1648     %%
1649     [OpenBOOT 3.10.6 response to pressing "Ctrl-Alt-Del":]
1650     ANY word at all is a candidate.
1651     USE words to see the entire dictionary.
1652     ok
1653     %%
1654     [SDF for POD Users]
1655     ... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - even Lisp has it's fans. :-)
1656     %%
1657     <Xach> schmorp: i haven't been doing any gimpy things lately
1658     <schmorp> xach: well, who is doing gimpy things lately :(
1659     <Xach> schmorp: Mitch
1660     <schmorp> xach: ok.
1661     <Xach> schmorp: you are not keeping pace with the other germans
1662     <Xach> schmorp: you must work more diligently! FOCUS!! DON'T TALK!!
1663     <Xach> burrito, focus
1664     <Burrito> FOCUS you BABOON!
1665     %%
1666     [Paul Miller]
1667     ... I find Knuth's attitude to be far more logical: "Be careful about
1668     using the following code -- I've only proven that it works, I haven't
1669     tested it." ...
1670     %%
1671     Intel Inside -- Idiot Outside!
1672     %%
1673     Newsgroups: comp.lang.forth
1674    
1675     Bart Lateur wrote in message <383a4712.942513@news.skynet.be>...
1676     >Petrus Prawirodidjojo wrote:
1677     >
1678     >>So we must compete with Windows CE.
1679     >
1680     >"Please wait while your Toaster shuts down."
1681     >
1682     >"My microwave oven hangs, I have to reboot."
1683     >
1684     >No thank you. :-) I don't think Microsoft somehow can "automatically" be
1685     >the most obvious choice as a supplier of system software for embedded
1686     >systems.
1687    
1688    
1689     Quite so. Windows CE is rapidly losing what small market share they once
1690     had.
1691    
1692     --
1693     Neal Bridges
1694     %%
1695     On 27 Nov 1999, sanjay Kumar wrote:
1696    
1697     > Hi folks,
1698     > i got some problem in using linux.When segmentation fault happens four five times continously OS is not working properly,insted of I remove the core dump and core dump bug ,Why?
1699     > please reply to
1700     > sanjay_rect@rediffmail.com
1701     > and sigma_btl@vsnl.com
1702    
1703     Parse error.
1704    
1705     ---
1706     Alex
1707     %%
1708     From: Richard Earnshaw <rearnsha@arm.com>
1709    
1710     > Why do we really need to support compiling with -ansi when
1711     > including a non-ANSI header file in a C program?
1712    
1713     Because some vendors wouldn't recognize a C standard it if hit them. The
1714     amount of code that purports to be ANSI C code, but is in fact nothing of
1715     the sort, has to be seen to be believed.
1716    
1717     That doesn't mean that I don't want *my* program to be clean ANSI C.
1718     %%
1719     [one of the few good us movies]
1720     Talk Radio Mediendrama - USA - 1988 - Regie: Oliver Stone * Sein Zynismus wird dem Radiomoderator Barry zum Verhängnis.
1721     %%
1722     [guess the language AND the language revision ;)]
1723     ii = 44;
1724     p = &ii;
1725     *p = ii/*p;
1726     ii++; /* Don't forget to increment ii. */
1727     printf ( "ii = %d\n", *p );
1728     %%
1729     > But many systems set the RTC while running Win*ooze. That will affect
1730     > Linux time then.
1731    
1732     Here is another microsoft Innovation (TM):
1733    
1734     They now allow you to run your BIOS-clock in UTC! (Just like
1735     Linux. Woops. Just gave it away...)
1736    
1737     Roger.
1738     %%
1739     <Tommer> schmorp, for the next trick, do <frameset> <frame src=dataurl:> <frame src=dataurl:> </frameset> :)
1740     %%
1741     auto accident;
1742     register voters;
1743     static electricity;
1744     struct by_lightning;
1745     void *where_prohibited;
1746     char broiled;
1747     short circuit;
1748     short changed;
1749     long johns;
1750     unsigned long letter;
1751     double entendre;
1752     double trouble;
1753     union organizer;
1754     float valve;
1755     short pants;
1756     union station;
1757     void check; unsigned check;
1758     struct dumb by[sizeof member];
1759     %%
1760     [I like TV Movie's nexTView comments]
1761     22:40-00:05 (21) ( -34) ARD Mord auf hoher See Inflammable Thriller - USA
1762     - 1995 - Regie: Peter Werner * Stephen King
1763     verhunzt als Regisseur sein Buch im großen Stil.
1764     %%
1765     Carmen Lucia Tancredo Borges wrote:
1766    
1767     I have a program written in Fortran that runs on an IBM RS/6000
1768     worstation.
1769     %%
1770     I wrote
1771     > I hope not. chomp() should match the string in $?, no more or less.
1772     $/
1773    
1774     Damn shift key.
1775    
1776    
1777     Mike Guy
1778     %%
1779     [rfc2635]
1780     The term "spam" as it is used to denote mass unsolicited mailings or
1781     netnews postings is derived from a Monty Python sketch set in a
1782     movie/tv studio cafeteria. During that sketch, the word "spam" takes
1783     over each item offered on the menu until the entire dialogue consists
1784     of nothing but "spam spam spam spam spam spam and spam." This so
1785     closely resembles what happens when mass unsolicited mail and posts
1786     take over mailing lists and netnews groups that the term has been
1787     pushed into common usage in the Internet community.
1788     %%
1789     [CRYPTO-GRAM, November 15, 1999]
1790    
1791     The Doghouse: Microsoft Windows CE
1792    
1793     Microsoft encrypts your Windows NT password when stored on a Windows CE
1794     device. But if you look carefully at their encryption algorithm, they
1795     simply XOR the password with "susageP", Pegasus spelled backwards. Pegasus
1796     is the code name of Windows CE. This is so pathetic it's staggering.
1797    
1798     http://www.cegadgets.com/artsusageP.htm
1799     %%
1800     : Isn't the point that (void)'grep EXPR, LIST' is now better written as
1801     : 'EXPR for LIST'? Or am I misunderstanding your point here?
1802    
1803     It really doesn't bother me if people want to use grep or map in a void
1804     context. It didn't bother me before there was a for modifier, and
1805     now that there is one, it still doesn't bother me. I'm just not very
1806     easy to bother.
1807    
1808     The argument against using an operator for other than its primary
1809     purpose strikes me the same as the old argument that you shouldn't have
1810     sex for other than procreational purposes. Sometimes side effects
1811     are more enjoyable than the originally intended effect.
1812    
1813     That being said, I'd never grep someone in a void context myself.
1814    
1815     Larry
1816     %%
1817     [that one's only for insiders...]
1818     > : BASE @ . \ = 10, verified original base was restored
1819     Yeah. :-)
1820     %%
1821     [comp.lang.forth]
1822     > Old Antactic Explorers Penguin Recipe:
1823     [...]
1824     > Start fire under pot, raise seawater to boiling point.
1825    
1826     Since it is very difficult to find wood on Antarctica, typically
1827     penguins are used to light the fire (due to their fat, they burn well).
1828     I also woudln't use any water, the penguins are fried fine in their own
1829     fat (you can use old fat to heat up the pot for another penguin).
1830    
1831     Note that most people in Antarctica have been seal-slayers and
1832     whale-killers, so they were rough people. Usually, they didn't bother
1833     with killing the penguins before setting them on fire. I'm glad this
1834     receipts aren't used anymore.
1835     %%
1836     Sie muessen einen PC nicht einschalten um herauszufinden ob Windows
1837     installiert ist. Sehen Sie einfach nach, ob die Aufschrift auf der
1838     Reset-Taste noch lesbar ist.
1839     %%
1840     > Erinnert mich an den Kerl bei mir in der Videothek. Hab mir DHY ausgeliehen
1841     > und er sagt doch zu mir: "Ist aber mit Untertiteln." Sag ich: "Na prima!"
1842     > Fragt er: "Wieso, was ist denn daran so interessant, wenn man nichts
1843     > versteht?"
1844     %%
1845     [de.alt.anime]
1846     Bei meiner Videothek fliegt ein "Ghost in the Shell" Tape
1847     "Ab18" rum. Das machte mich irgendwie stutzig weil auf
1848     der Schachtel meiner 16er zwei Szenenfotos sind, die im
1849     Film gar nicht vorkommen (ironischer Weise direkt über
1850     dem "Uncut & Unzesored" Schildchen). Andererseits ist
1851     mir völlig schleierhaft, was es bei dem Filmchen zu zensieren
1852     geben soll. Nur die oben beschriebene Feststellung hat diese
1853     Frage erneut aufgeworfen.
1854     ji!
1855     %%
1856     I do worry about syntactic clutter, ever since my daughter came
1857     in, looked over my shoulder, and said, "What is that, swearing?"
1858     [Larry Wall]
1859     %%
1860     Der letzte untergegangene altisraelitische Stamm war der der
1861     Altpreussen.
1862     - Norbert Marzahn am 15.8.98 in
1863     de.soc.politik.deutschland
1864     %%
1865     > > Aber die Theorien, die Norbert aufstellt, ueber zum Beispiel die
1866     > > gegossenen Steinformen, die sich hochdruecken, den fuerchterlichen
1867     > > Kometen, der im vergangenen August die Erde zerstoert hat und solche
1868     > > Sachen find ich wirklich Klasse ;-)
1869     >
1870     > Jau. Und erstmal seine Erklärungsversuche, wenn's mal wieder nichts
1871     > geworden ist (wo bleibt eigentlich der Planet X, der während der
1872     > Syonnenfinsternis auftauchen sollte?)...
1873    
1874     Drei Tage Dunkelheit und viele Trümmerteile sollte er bringen, gell,
1875     Norbert?
1876     %%
1877     Marzahnismen: http://www.snafu.de/~dbrueg/normarz.html
1878     Norbert Marzahn sagt: Ich besitze die Mittel, um
1879     "Rechts"- und "Links"-Radikalismus auszuloeschen.
1880     %%
1881     http://welcome.to/levitenbuero/
1882     %%
1883     <Xach> babelfish.pitney.org: "We may not get it right, but boy are we fast!"
1884     %%
1885     Subject: GNU compiler
1886     From: "Steve"
1887     Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 19:05:03 -0400
1888     To: <gcc@gcc.gnu.org>
1889     X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3155.0
1890    
1891     [the following was a single line, of course]
1892     I downloaded the compiler and am trying to install it and the
1893     instructions seem to be very complicated. Can you help me understand
1894     how to install them? There is no setup file and I have downloaded from
1895     several sites in the thought that I might have the wrong version. Your
1896     assistance would be greatly appreciated
1897    
1898     Thanks,
1899    
1900     Steve
1901     %%
1902     [an "I am doing high end graphic design" type of person:]
1903     > Also, could someone tell me how to calculate DPI of an image? I have not
1904     > managed to figure this DPI system out, for example, if an image is a
1905     > 100?50 pixels, what's the DPI??
1906     %%
1907     <tigert> xachbot, op
1908     <XachBot> tigert: I have an 88 magnum. It shoots through schools.
1909     <tigert> ahem
1910     %%
1911     <tc> xachbot, acro FOOBAR
1912     -XachBot:#gimp- FOOBAR: FTP Operation Over Big Address Records | See FUBAR [Net jargon] (cached)
1913     <tc> just when you thought you had something to baffle xachbot
1914     %%
1915     [the release of perl 5.000]
1916     Date: Mon, 17 Oct 94 16:48:04 -0700
1917     From: Larry Wall <lwall@scalpel.netlabs.com>
1918     Subject: It's soup.
1919    
1920     Okay, it's there.
1921    
1922     ftp://ftp.netlabs.com/pub/outgoing/perl5.0/perl5.000.tar.gz
1923    
1924     The first one who tells me about a bug in it gets shot.
1925    
1926     Larry
1927     %%
1928     l33+ h4X0rz
1929     %%
1930     # A random text generator using Markov chains
1931     perl -e 'while(<>){$f.= $_}@l=split(/\s+/, $f);for($i=0;$i<@l-1;$i++){$W{$l[$i]
1932     }.=" ".$l[$i+1];}sub a{$w=$l[1]}&a;sub b{print "\n"}while($w){if(!($W{$w})){&b;
1933     &b;&a;last if ($q++>3);}print"$w ";@p=split(/ /,$W{$w});$c=@p;until($s=int(rand
1934     ($c))){1}$w=$p[$s]}&b' big_text_file
1935     %%
1936     > && d'oh! i knew that! can she allow her lusers to use deja? here is the url
1937     > && for the post with the whole description of how i used -P
1938     >
1939     > Well, access to deja isn't forbidden, but access to the keyboard is.
1940     > And there's no mouse.
1941     >
1942     > Abigail
1943    
1944     Wow. Someone else who reads usenet by osmosis... cool.
1945    
1946     Matt.
1947     %%
1948     Ok, our threads aren't so bad. Python's have one big
1949     giant global interpreter lock. :-)
1950    
1951     - --tom
1952     %%
1953     From: Linus Torvalds <torvalds@transmeta.com>
1954     Date: Fri, 6 Aug 1999 11:42:19 -0700 (PDT)
1955    
1956     On Fri, 6 Aug 1999, Hubert Mantel wrote:
1957     >
1958     > So the huge ISDN update in proposed-2.2.11 will be removed from the final
1959     > 2.2.11 release?
1960    
1961     [ Irritated mode: FULL BLAST ]
1962    
1963     Are you being stupid on purpose, or were you born that way?
1964    
1965     Go back and read the thread. Read why I'm irritated. READ. THINK.
1966     %%
1967     Understanding is a three edged sword. Do you *want* to get the point?
1968     %%
1969     ["MVS uses quite heavy algorithms for swapping"]
1970     On Mon, Aug 02, 1999 at 07:55:32PM +0200, Lieven Marchand wrote:
1971     > Last time I looked at it, it got to the point they had moved some
1972     > ASSISTs into microcode. IIRC, some manipulations of the process
1973     > block. I doubt Intel/Sun/MIPS/IBM is going to accomodate Linux quite
1974     > that much ;-)
1975    
1976     IBM is really really good on process technology. They have had to be.
1977     %%
1978     MVS spends a lot of time running OS algorithms to allow full
1979     preemption that Linux wastes on running user applications.
1980     %%
1981     [comments on the gcc-2.95 release]
1982     <QUOTE>
1983     I'm having problems compiling it for HP-UX 10.20. Any ideas?
1984    
1985     (I haven't actually finished downloading it yet, but I just know I'm
1986     gonna have problems with this crappy OS ;-)
1987     </QUOTE>
1988     %%
1989     The Internet interprets Windows as damage,
1990     and routes around it.
1991    
1992     Roger Larsson
1993     Skellefteå
1994     %%
1995     [configuring gcc]
1996     Noone should use --prefix=/usr without --with-local-prefix=/usr/local
1997     %%
1998     'You can solve any programming problem with another level of indirection,
1999     except the problem of too many levels of indirection.'
2000     %%
2001     [http://www.itknowledge.com/tpj/issues/vol4_1/tpj0401-0015.html]
2002    
2003     Z-code interpreters have also been written in Java; unfortunately, when it
2004     comes to cross-platform compatibility, Java's user-interface classes are
2005     finicky and unstable--just ask anyone who's tried to reason with the AWT
2006     on different JVMs.
2007    
2008     [and later]
2009    
2010     Pilfer is a practical implementation of two of the cardinal rules of
2011     adventure gaming:
2012    
2013     1.Anything that is not nailed down is mine.
2014     2.Anything that I can pry loose is not nailed down.
2015     %%
2016     [the ||-operator can be thought of as "or", && can be thought of as
2017     "and", but how would you call the ??-operator?]
2018    
2019     >>>>> "NK" == Nathan Kurz <nate@valleytel.net> writes:
2020    
2021     NK> ?? -> huh?
2022    
2023     That's a great name. The huh? operator.
2024    
2025     <chaim>
2026     %%
2027     `One of the reasons we continue to use Fortran is that it's easier to fix
2028     code written without attention to such details in Fortran than in other
2029     languages. To put it another way, Fortran is the only language where
2030     people who barely get by with their numerical skills can "write useful
2031     numerical code." Many times those people are the only experts in their
2032     specialty available to put a needed procedure into practice.'
2033     %%
2034     [Moderator der Sending "Teatime" auf "Radio Okerwelle", 1999-07-12]
2035     Ich muß schließlich hören was ich sage, damit ich weiß, was ich denke.
2036     %%
2037     [Dr. Dobbs #8, 1999, describing how you can AVOID downloading or executing
2038     Java applets, scripts and ActiveX controls while _parsing_(!) an html
2039     page]
2040     ... you must utilize IOleControl::OnAmbientPropertyChange with the
2041     value DISPID_AMBIENT_DLCONTROL. Before you can do this, however, you
2042     must call IOleObject::SetClientSite so that IOleControl will work
2043     properly. This is the reason you derive from IOleClientSite, even
2044     though you don't extend its functionality in any way. After the call to
2045     OnAmbientPropertyChange, IE4 will call your Invoke method to check the
2046     value of DISPID_AMBIENT_DLCONTROL. Invoke simply sets the correct bits to
2047     disable the behaviour you don't want and returns NOERROR.
2048     [Still interested in knowing how you can disable the "file not found"
2049     dialog box that will pop up when you try to parse a non-accessible file?]
2050     %%
2051     [Linus, whom I quote rarely ;-]
2052     Message passing as the fundamental operation of the OS is just an
2053     excercise in computer science masturbation. It may feel good, but you
2054     don't actually get anything DONE.
2055     %%
2056     Advantages of Windows NT over Linux:
2057     * It's easier to explain the crash was not your fault.
2058     * You've to remember only one solution all to your problems: Reboot.
2059     * You can use your mouse to type an email-message.
2060     %%
2061     > 1) On the PIII, there is the capability to get a system unique serial
2062     > number from the CPU. Does Linux read this data already? Is there plans to
2063     > read the serial number and then disable the capability (maybe so you could
2064     > get the serial number from the OS)?
2065    
2066     Current Linux disables it and doesn't save the value.
2067     %%
2068     [CRYPTO-GRAM 1999-06-15]
2069     "Microsoft set the security state-of-the-art back 25 years with DOS, and
2070     they have continued that legacy to this day."
2071     %%
2072     [From "The Elements Of Style: UNIX As Literature", by Thomas Scoville]
2073     "In a world increasingly dominated by image culture (TV, movies, .jpg
2074     files), UNIX remains rooted in the culture of the word."
2075     %%
2076     > If it is clearly documented that will not happen.
2077    
2078     Yeah, sure. Unfortunately, if the "correct" treatment of this feature
2079     means to change a dozen source files (and rth's comments make me fear
2080     that that's the case), the chance that someone, somewhere forgets to say
2081     exactly why these changes were necessary (and on what other changes in
2082     other files they depend) is far larger than I want to consider. We've
2083     seen this before. Lucky we are that some long time gcc-hackers are
2084     still among us, who might remark: Oh yes, that's undefined by the C
2085     Standard, but it happens to be an extension gcc supports ... Seen that,
2086     got the T-shirt.
2087     %%
2088     Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
2089     From: Joe Buck <jbuck@Synopsys.COM>
2090     Date: Fri, 4 Jun 99 10:00:16 PDT
2091     To: torvalds@transmeta.com (Linus Torvalds)
2092     Cc: craig@jcb-sc.com, jbuck@Synopsys.COM, mark@codesourcery.com,
2093     davem@redhat.com, chip@perlsupport.com, egcs@egcs.cygnus.com
2094     X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
2095    
2096     Linus writes, to Craig:
2097    
2098     > I haven't maintained a compiler long-term. I _have_ maintained a larger,
2099     > and arguably mode complex system with many more degrees of freedom and
2100     > thus choices than gcc.
2101    
2102     No, gcc is substantially larger than the Linux kernel (on the order of 10x
2103     larger, as anyone can easily verify). gcc does not need to deal with race
2104     conditions, so in that sense it is simpler, but in other respects it is
2105     far more complex than the kernel.
2106    
2107     [NOTE for the reader: this is not really true, as the device drivers
2108     bomb the comparison away, but the complexity argument still holds]
2109    
2110     [ personal insults deleted, perhaps the author is in need of a vacation ]
2111     %%
2112     Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
2113     From: craig@jcb-sc.com
2114     To: torvalds@transmeta.com
2115    
2116     >I want the _user_ to be able to give input.
2117     [...]
2118     >I happen to think that the "explicit cast invalidates the alias
2119     >information" rule is the simplest and best one, and gives the user the
2120     >best control without adding things like new attributes or other ways to
2121     >let the user be in control.
2122    
2123     In other words, you believe you are a better language designer than
2124     the ISO C people as well as the gcc maintainers, despite the fact
2125     that you know, what, *nothing* about language design, and *nothing*
2126     about compiler design and, especially, long-term maintenance of
2127     compilers?
2128     %%
2129     Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
2130     From: Joe Buck <jbuck@Synopsys.COM>
2131    
2132     Linus writes:
2133     > Oh, you don't expect me to complain about bad code generation when I know
2134     > gcc could do better?
2135    
2136     Oh, don't worry, we expect you to complain, and in a rude and insulting
2137     matter at that. We're used to it. It seems that you were a nicer guy
2138     before you had so many worshippers.
2139     %%
2140     Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
2141     From: Branko Cibej <branko.cibej@hermes.si>
2142     Date: Fri, 04 Jun 1999 10:07:09 +0200
2143     To: egcs@egcs.cygnus.com
2144     X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.6 [en] (WinNT; I)
2145    
2146     Linus Torvalds wrote:
2147    
2148     > I think it's a damn shame that instead of technical arguments _everything_
2149     > revolves around people reading the standard as if it was the bible, and
2150     > trying to make people feel guilty for not really caring. It's not a sin to
2151     > just want to get good code without having to do magic contortions, guys.
2152    
2153     Why, Linus, it's trivial to do! Use MSVC instead of egcs, then you can do
2154    
2155     #pragma optimize("a", on/off)
2156    
2157     around every single statement, if you like. It even supports anonymous unions
2158     _and_ structs, and is only slightly influenced by the ISO C standard.
2159    
2160     They'll even sell you a version that can generate code for the alpha!
2161    
2162     >:->
2163    
2164     Brane
2165    
2166    
2167     P.S.: Just for the record: I, a "real user" and (imnsho) a "clever programmer"
2168     who "know what I'm doing", at least most of the time, and who do not "read the
2169     standard as if it were a bible", vote for having a standard-conforming
2170     compiler that's not bloated by a ton of marginally useful (or even useless)
2171     features. If I want featuritis, I know where I can get it.
2172    
2173    
2174     P.P.S: They can't even spell "optimise" ...
2175     %%
2176     You can have it Soon, Cheap, and Working; choose *two*
2177     %%
2178     "Scientific" studies have found that a 2.2.x Linux router with
2179     fast-switching enabled, using Tulip 100baseT cards, can melt a
2180     high-end Cisco's 100baseT interfaces.
2181     %%
2182     1) Thread switching is faster than process switching by a little bit on Linux
2183     2) Process switching on linux is faster than thread switching on NT
2184     3) Almost anything is faster than process switching on NT
2185     %%
2186     [gimp-developers, on the use of keyboard modifiers for drawing tools]
2187    
2188     > Simple. Powerful. Fast. Choose at most two.
2189    
2190     Perhaps this should be an option in the preferences dialog? :)
2191     %%
2192     [perl is cryptic??]
2193     Subject: @{$${->{{{{~{}~{{{NO CARRIER
2194     From: Jarkko Hietaniemi <jhi@iki.fi>
2195     Date: Mon, 24 May 1999 21:55:37 +0300 (EET DST)
2196    
2197     We have still a long way to go-- from the zsh-workers mailing list:
2198    
2199     : Just thought of a trivial way to take a lot of grief out of parameter
2200     : substitution. This patch makes the following valid:
2201     :
2202     : ${${${${(f)"$(typeset)"}:#*local *\=*}%%\=*}##* }
2203     :
2204     : replacing the equivalent but grotesquer
2205     :
2206     : "${(@)${(@)${(@)${(@f)$(typeset)}:#*local *\=*}%%\=*}##* }"
2207     %%
2208     Long noun chains don't automatically imply security. - Bruce Schneier
2209     %%
2210     > |> Spoken as a true C programmer. However you are wrong. Case-preserving, but
2211     > |> insensitive, is the CORRECT way for file systems. Capitalization should not
2212     > |> matter for interpretation of a file name just as it doesn't matter for
2213     > |> interpreting words in any human language.
2214     >
2215     > This is wrong. In German, there is a big difference between "paar" und
2216     > "Paar" (the first meaning "a few", the second "pair").
2217    
2218     The classic example:
2219    
2220     "Ich habe liebe Genossen in Moskau" - I've got dead comreds in Moscow.
2221     "Ich habe Liebe genossen in Moskau" - I enjoyed love in Moscow.
2222     %%
2223     [do we need oo-style IO::File class in perl?]
2224     >_You_ aren't gonna code "use IO::File".
2225    
2226     And there's no reason for anyone else to, either, especially
2227     once Nick finishes the Larry-blessed autovivification of
2228     lvaluabled undefs in open(), socket(), etc.
2229    
2230     What's next, a String class for Perl?
2231    
2232     --tom
2233     %%
2234     [some example of the kind of mail I sometimes receive:]
2235     i was just trying to help u out not hurt you in anyway ok i have the fbi
2236     working on something for me
2237     u havent done anything to me ok and the sherriffs department came by to talk
2238     to me nutting concerning y ok
2239     piece
2240     russ
2241     %%
2242     [From "Basic Information about Unix", common commands:]
2243    
2244     pico (text editor for beginners)
2245     vi (text editor for advanced users)
2246     emacs (text editor for advanced users)
2247     ed (text editor for beginners)
2248     %%
2249     There is no reason in principle that a Perl script shouldn't start with
2250    
2251     use Python;
2252    
2253     and appear to work exactly like Python from there to the end of the file.
2254     Except maybe faster. :-)
2255    
2256     Larry
2257     %%
2258     > Perl6 gives us an opportunity to re-examine every feature at a microscopic level.
2259    
2260     just what I'm afraid of... I thought this was to be Perl6, not Perl
2261     2010.
2262    
2263     (Perl 2010: The Spaced Oddity?)
2264     %%
2265     The X.25 specification is not a particularly easy document to
2266     read. Contrary to expectations, it does not make great use of diagrams
2267     and tables that help to explain the workings of the protocols that
2268     it contains. Instead the document makes use of many ambiguous English
2269     descriptions of the actions that should take place, allied with a complete
2270     lack of fluency in its prose descriptions, make for a very confusing
2271     document. It is a wonder that any correct X.25 implementations have ever
2272     been created.
2273     %%
2274     > Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.
2275     >
2276     > Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be
2277     > $3.99.
2278     >
2279     > Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.
2280     >
2281     > Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.
2282     >
2283     > Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!
2284     >
2285     > Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.
2286     >
2287     > Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?
2288     >
2289     > Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's
2290     > got integrated Coke!
2291     >
2292     > Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going
2293     > to drink the Coke.
2294     >
2295     > Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.
2296     >
2297     > Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.
2298     >
2299     > Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally
2300     > inseparable.
2301     >
2302     > Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things!
2303     >
2304     > Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?
2305     >
2306     > Joe: Why did you just do that?!
2307     >
2308     > Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with
2309     > two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a
2310     > continuous taste across all your foods.
2311     %%
2312     Threads are like salt. I like salt, you like salt, we all
2313     like salt, but we eat more pasta than salt.
2314     %%
2315     From: Nathan Torkington <gnat@frii.com>
2316    
2317     Don't be bitten by Perl, get crushed by Python.
2318     Python: Perl for the punctuation-phobic.
2319     It takes 4 days for a python to digest a hamster, but only 2 days
2320     for you to digest this book.
2321     Python: it's really better but nobody uses it.
2322     Python: just for the whitespace of it.
2323     Join The Trickle
2324     Python: more popular than Dylan!
2325     Python: not written by crackheads in a gutter!
2326     Are you uptight? Try our new Python Hangups series.
2327     %%
2328     Well Microsoft announced this new language called COOL which I can
2329     honestly say that I have seen NO CRAPPY CODE written in. OTOH it appears
2330     that to achieve this miraculous status by the simple technique of being
2331     complete and utter vapourware.
2332    
2333     Microsoft, taking the Business out of COBOL.
2334     %%
2335     [From "Programming Perl"]
2336    
2337     We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of a
2338     programmer: laziness, impatience and hubris
2339     %%
2340     [Alexander Stepanov, creator of the STL]:
2341    
2342     Yes. STL is not object oriented. I think that object orientedness is
2343     almost as much of a hoax as Artificial Intelligence. I have yet to
2344     see an interesting piece of code that comes from these OO people. In
2345     a sense, I am unfair to AI: I learned a lot of stuff from the MIT AI
2346     Lab crowd, they have done some really fundamental work: Bill Gosper's
2347     Hakmem is one of the best things for a programmer to read. AI might
2348     not have had a serious foundation, but it produced Gosper and Stallman
2349     (Emacs), Moses (Macsyma) and Sussman (Scheme, together with Guy Steele). I
2350     find OOP technically unsound. It attempts to decompose the world in
2351     terms of interfaces that vary on a single type. To deal with the real
2352     problems you need multisorted algebras - families of interfaces that
2353     span multiple types. I find OOP philosophically unsound. It claims that
2354     everything is an object. Even if it is true it is not very interesting -
2355     saying that everything is an object is saying nothing at all. I find OOP
2356     methodologically wrong. It starts with classes. It is as if mathematicians
2357     would start with axioms. You do not start with axioms - you start with
2358     proofs. Only when you have found a bunch of related proofs, can you
2359     come up with axioms. You end with axioms. The same thing is true in
2360     programming: you have to start with interesting algorithms. Only when you
2361     understand them well, can you come up with an interface that will let them
2362     work.
2363     [...]
2364     You can't write a generic max() in Java that takes two arguments of some
2365     type and has a return value of that same type. Inheritance and interfaces
2366     don't help. And if they cannot implement max or swap or linear search,
2367     what chances do they have to implement really complex stuff? These are my
2368     litmus tests: if a language allows me to implement max and swap and linear
2369     search generically - then it has some potential.
2370     [...] Java is clearly an example of a money oriented programming (MOP).
2371     It might be successful - after all, MS DOS was - and it might be a
2372     profitable thing for all your readers to learn Java, but it has no
2373     intellectual value whatsoever.
2374    
2375     [Later, on OMG protocols like CORBA]
2376     I am old enough to remember all the networking standards that were coming
2377     out in the seventies. Who remembers them now?
2378     %%
2379     [Stiftung Warentest "test", WDR 19990419:]
2380     "Schlechtes muß nicht billig sein..."
2381     %%
2382     [/bin/false on solaris]
2383     #!/usr/bin/sh
2384     # Copyright (c) 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989 AT&T
2385     # All Rights Reserved
2386    
2387     # THIS IS UNPUBLISHED PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODE OF AT&T
2388     # The copyright notice above does not evidence any
2389     # actual or intended publication of such source code.
2390    
2391     #ident "@(#)false.sh 1.6 93/01/11 SMI" /* SVr4.0 1.3 */
2392     [obvious invocation of exit snipped to avoid lawsuit. Yup, *1* line.]
2393     %%
2394     <Aspirin> but ee uses imlib, and imlib is documented to take 4.7 days to start up on a 486 by Alan Cox.
2395     %%
2396     When a tar built for SunOS runs under Solaris, it's incapable of opening
2397     or creating files with "lib/locale" in the path. It replaces that part of
2398     the path with "lib/oldlocale".
2399     %%
2400     [Bruce Schneier in CRYPTO-GRAM, 19990315]
2401    
2402     "Microsoft prefers to treat security holes as a public relations problem,
2403     rather than fixing the actual problem."
2404    
2405     [further down: the official answer from Microsoft about a problem where
2406     just viewing a website would invisibly run unrestricted code on your
2407     machine]
2408    
2409     "Microsoft appreciates your input regarding this issue, however in lieu
2410     of modern technology being what it is, we all need to be personally
2411     responsible for knowing what we are downloading off the internet."
2412    
2413     [see http://www.panix.com/~dfoster/sec/chrono.html]
2414     %%
2415     [Steve Funston wrote to me, after I unsubscribed him from gimp-perl for
2416     spamming:]
2417    
2418     >fuck you ass hole duh you are just a big fucker
2419     >>
2420     >>An error was generated by your request to our servers:
2421     >>------------------------------------------------------
2422     >>
2423     >>Your Email: bfunston@mich.com
2424     >>
2425     >>ERROR: You are not a member of this list.
2426    
2427     [and later, misquoting my name:]
2428     >mark is not only a big fat liar but he is an ass hole.
2429     %%
2430     [How much of the microsoft shares does Bill Gates hold?]
2431     He has 19.8%. Paul Allen has 5.5%. Steve Ballmer has 4.7%.
2432     %%
2433     > And what's wrong with being named Peter?
2434     If linus was peter, Linux would be called penix? (just guessing) ;)
2435     %%
2436     According to Microsoft KnowledgeBase article Q216641, Microsoft Windows
2437     95/98 are limited to an uptime of *exactly* 49.7 days.
2438    
2439     --found by Vincent Janelle (Random)
2440     %%
2441     > Leave that to RMS.
2442    
2443     If you had just sat through the horrific panel with Larry,
2444     RMS, Richard, and Linus, you would want to leave a whole lot
2445     else to RMS -- like a couple of megatons of the manure that
2446     he's full of.
2447    
2448     Support BSD/Linux.
2449    
2450     --tom
2451     %%
2452     "The FSF is a cult -- don't support them." --Rob Pike
2453     %%
2454     We are Linux. Resistance is an indication that you missed the point.
2455     %%
2456     > Perhaps the cracker himself (itself? ;) isn't bright enough to delete shell
2457     > history, but his shrink-wrapped cracking tools might be a lot brighter...
2458    
2459     Some of them are. A surprising number aren't. A personal favorite of
2460     mine was the log from a cracker who couldn't figure out how to untar
2461     and install the trojan package he'd ftped onto the machine. he tried a
2462     few times, and then eventually gave up and logged out.
2463     %%
2464     [on channel #gimp]
2465    
2466     [msg(Xachbot)] insult me
2467     [XachBot(xachbot@home.xach.com)] schmorp: David Miller would never approve of that.
2468     %%
2469     [the creation]
2470     http://www.toodarkpark.org/caffeine-cgi-bin/textfile/net-hx.txt
2471     %%
2472     THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12: LITHP
2473    
2474     This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of
2475     an "S" in its character set; users must substitute "TH". LITHP is said
2476     to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
2477     %%
2478     Ich zog hier nur einen Pseudoschluss aus dieser sache, den ich nicht
2479     selbst schliesse.
2480     Norbert Harry Marzahn, selbsternannter "Judaaer"
2481     am 13.12.98 in de.alt.ufo
2482     %%
2483     According to Gurusamy Sarathy:
2484     > "Resistance is futile, you will be modularized."
2485    
2486     No:
2487    
2488     use Borg;
2489     make_threat(-type => 'standard', -doom => 'modularized');
2490    
2491     --
2492     Chip Salzenberg - a.k.a. - <chip@perlsupport.com>
2493     %%
2494     "And over here, ladies and gentlemen, may I draw your attention to
2495     the 'posicks box', a mechanism within one of the late 20th century
2496     sub-I hardware gestalt integration agents (then called 'operating
2497     systems', this particular one being referred to as 'windows' by
2498     its commercial-mimetic sustainer), designed so as to provide the
2499     appearance and functionality required to comply with one of the few
2500     agreed-upon integration schemas (sub-I, of course) available at the
2501     time. Unsurprising given the non-integration imperitives used by the
2502     agent's sustainter, this mechanism was demonstrated to be an ingenious
2503     non-integration ploy that, while supporting the integration schema,
2504     failed to support the local interconnect schemas that this agent
2505     specialized in. This produced a classic focus rift in the knowledge
2506     pool, benefiting the sustainer in the short run due to the focus
2507     concentration facilities available to commericial-class mimetic
2508     sustainers. Practically, this wasn't a significant loss, in the long
2509     run, as neither the 'windows' or 'posicks' schemas were relevant to
2510     modern quasi-I agents. These two do live on, however, in a few niches.
2511     'posicks' is used as the integration schema between most nano-scale
2512     logic units (a fact that only a few meta-experts still need to be
2513     aware of), and 'windows' survives, for religious-mimetic reasons, as
2514     the human-communication agent in a few stereotypical toasters and soap
2515     dispensers."
2516    
2517     [Kenneth Albanowski]
2518     %%
2519     Perl ist ein Schmerzmittel.
2520     Wenn Du bei der Speicherverwaltung oder der Stringverarbeitung
2521     unter C Schmerzen hast, nimm Perl.
2522     -- Kristian Koehntopp
2523     %%
2524     > Why Windows NT Server 4.0 continues to exist in the enterprise would be a
2525     > topic appropriate for an investigative report in the field of psychology or
2526     > marketing, not an article on information technology -- John Kirch
2527     %%
2528     [bei einer mündlichen Nachprüfung in BWL, Uni Hamburg]
2529    
2530     Prof: "Was ist Agio?"
2531     Student: "Weiß ich nicht."
2532     Prof: "OK, durchgefallen!
2533     Student: "Ich habe aber Anspruch auf drei Fragen in der mündlichen Prüfung!"
2534     Prof: "Klar, was ist Disagio?"
2535     Student: "..."
2536     Prof: "...und was ist der Unterschied zwischen Agio und Disagio?"
2537     Student: "..."
2538     Prof: "...durchgefallen!"
2539     %%
2540     Chaim Frenkel <chaimf@pobox.com> writes:
2541    
2542     > Just morbid curiosity,
2543     >
2544     > Are there _any_ unix boxes that _can't_ build Perl?
2545    
2546     Yes. Broken ones.
2547    
2548     dgris
2549     %%
2550     "The kerastion is a musical instrument which cannot be heard."
2551     -- A Borges story in ten words.
2552     %%
2553     "C combines the power of assembly language
2554     with the flexibility of assembly language."
2555     %%
2556     ...
2557    
2558     <AOL>
2559    
2560     Me too!
2561    
2562     </AOL>
2563    
2564     Tig
2565     %%
2566     ping -p 2b2b2b415448300d <hostname>
2567     %%
2568     unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;umount;sleep
2569     %%
2570     From: Dick Balaska <dick@buckosoft.com>
2571    
2572     I sit behind an NT dual P2/400 256MB for too many hours each day. It is
2573     "slow". One of my (fun) tasks is CD mastering. When i'm loading a 500MB
2574     wav file into the editor, the machine goes useless for two minutes while
2575     loading the wave file. Basically its just reading the file and writing it
2576     to swap. The CPU is at 5%. No Alt-Tab between apps during that time. No
2577     chance of putting the mouse over a button (too many dropped ticks). The
2578     NT kernel is just sitting waiting for I/O completions.
2579    
2580     Linux would be embarrassed to be that bad.
2581    
2582     I expected M$ to never fix this because its not "broken". However, i
2583     expect billg to start reading the above mentioned literal benchmarks and
2584     get really really pissed.
2585    
2586     Especially since i believe 1999 and 2000 to see Linux *really* start
2587     to cut into M$'s server market share.
2588     %%
2589     > Hello I'm wondering if there's a lower traffic mailing list that exists
2590     > that's strictly important kernel announcements and not general chat. I
2591     > need to stay informed but I can't handle 250 messages in a 24 hour
2592     > period.
2593     >
2594     > Sorry for the insignificant post..
2595     > Nic
2596     >
2597    
2598     Thank you for contributing to the problem.
2599    
2600     -hpa
2601     %%
2602     grep... grep... grep... (frog with unix stuck in his throat)
2603     %%
2604     "If users are made to understand that the system administrator's job is to
2605     make computers run, and not to make them happy, they can, in fact, be made
2606     happy most of the time. If users are allowed to believe that the system
2607     administrator's job is to make them happy, they can, in fact, never be made
2608     happy."
2609     - - -Paul Evans (as quoted by Barb Dijker in "Managing Support Staff", LISA '97)
2610     %%
2611     From: "Daniel P. Stasinski" <dannys@KAREMOR.COM>
2612     Subject: Microsoft Hotmail
2613     To: BUGTRAQ@NETSPACE.ORG
2614    
2615     I contacted Microsoft/Hotmail asking them to close the account
2616     of that was listed in the backdoored tcp wrapper source code.
2617     I also forwarded the offending code.
2618    
2619     The word back from them is that they will not close it. Theft
2620     of passwords and hacking does not violate thier terms of
2621     service.
2622    
2623     Daniel
2624     %%
2625     Any UNIX-killer must also have:
2626     ...
2627     * cool name like Linux (serious, these fail: GNU Hurd FreeBSD 386BSD)
2628     %%
2629     "Not all things worth doing are worth doing well."
2630     It's a phrase I use a lot. :-)
2631     [RJL]
2632     %%
2633     As John Whittaker says: ``It's UNIX. That doesn't necessarily mean it's
2634     right.''
2635     %%
2636     [Richard Stallman on the new _Pragma operator in C9X:]
2637    
2638     Amazing--they actually listened.
2639     %%
2640     That "UNIX" term is very negative. People often associate it with
2641     SCO OpenServer, Wyse terminals, and 60 people on a 386. The UNIX
2642     that people know is just awful. It looks something like this:
2643    
2644     # less foo
2645     sh: command not found
2646     # more foo
2647     sh: command not found
2648     # emacs foo
2649     sh: command not found
2650     # ed foo
2651     0
2652     help
2653     ?
2654     quit
2655     ?
2656     exit
2657     ?
2658     DIE!!!!!!!!!!
2659     ?
2660    
2661     [Albert D. Cahalan]
2662     %%
2663     Subject: Re: Stop blib warning in future releases?
2664     From: andreas.koenig@anima.de (Andreas J. Koenig)
2665     Date: 05 Jan 1999 03:15:37 +0100
2666    
2667     tim> Sure. Strictly speaking
2668    
2669     tim> use blib ':quiet';
2670    
2671     tim> would be most correct in style.
2672    
2673     Only German native speakers are allowed to treat adverbs adjectively.
2674     For the rest I'd recommend [...]
2675     %%
2676     [A new U.S. Law implementing a WIPO treaty]
2677     No person shall circumvent a technological protection measure that
2678     effectively controls access to a work protected under this title
2679     [Or, in other words, applied cryptanalysis will be illegal.
2680     too bad --- ]
2681     %%
2682     Microsoft - Is it going to work today?
2683     %%
2684     Subject: Re: [gimp-devel] GIF plugin legal issues
2685    
2686     > Actually, my understanding is that Unisys doesn't currently enforce the
2687     > licensing cost on free software, but maybe I am mistaken.
2688    
2689     The general wording, spoken by an unnamed GIMP developer, is, if you'll
2690     pardon the language, "Unisys can go fuck itself."
2691     %%
2692     [once on linux-kernel:]
2693     > >who are you why on yahoo when iprint sf16fmi i fond you i need drv
2694     > Does anyone have the secret decoder ring to make sense of this?
2695     he's confused about us showing up in a search match on yahoo, but needs
2696     driver(s) for his sf16fmi thingy.
2697     %%
2698     > Did you try to compile kdeadmin from the CVS tree ?
2699    
2700     No I ran the KDE binaries. Im not interested in broken programs that
2701     include wrong #include files in their source.
2702     %%
2703     [unix-faq]
2704    
2705     Someday, you are going to accidentally type something like
2706     "rm * .foo", and find you just deleted "*" instead of "*.foo".
2707     Consider it a rite of passage.
2708     %%
2709     "There's one word that strikes fear into nuclear scientists..."
2710     "Oops."
2711     -- MST3K
2712     %%
2713     Seems like 80-bit spills would be closer to IEEE, if not close enough to
2714     claim full support. Off-hand I'd say people would be happier with
2715     those numeric properties than with the current situation.
2716    
2717     I'll think about the esoterica (probably break down and ask people here).
2718     It would certainly make gcc the most reliable x86 floating-point compiler
2719     I know. Sun's does something similar to -ffloat-store by default (gee,
2720     look at how fast that ultra is), and Microsoft's runs off the end of the
2721     stack at run-time . I don't know what Intel's does, so I'm not considering
2722     it. ;)
2723     %%
2724     >I was using the localtime function to change time_t into it's various
2725     >human-readable parts. I noticed that $year gets returned as 98 and
2726     >not 1998. I tested a few different unices and got the same result.
2727     >This is expected behavior based on the examples I've seen and my own
2728     >testing. My question is how is this y2k compliant?
2729    
2730     What part of your C library's documentation on localtime(3), the perlfunc
2731     documentation on the Perl localtime function, the perlfaq4 entry on `Does
2732     Perl have a year 2000 problem?', and the Y2K document on www.perl.com
2733     did you find to be unclear on the answer to this question?
2734    
2735     --tom
2736     %%
2737     > * Have you ever wondered how life began ?
2738    
2739     In a laboratory somewhere at Bell Labs.
2740    
2741     >Why does it end ?
2742    
2743     Ask the X3J11 committee.
2744    
2745     > * Can you tell WHY there is life ? What is the purpose of it ?
2746     > * Can YOU do anything to make your life worth living ? WHAT ?
2747    
2748     To promote the the DEATH OF ANSI C! K+R FOREVER! DOWN WITH PORTABILITY!
2749     %%
2750     "Unix *is* Perl's IDE!"
2751     -- Tom Christiansen
2752     %%
2753     [Sputnik]
2754    
2755     Do you honestly think the Americans would mention a Soviet success? :-)
2756     A number of years back I saw an exhibition in the US on the development of
2757     supersonic passenger aircraft. They forgot to mention Concorde. It
2758     wouldn't surprise me in the least if most people at NASA had never heard
2759     of Sputnik.
2760     %%
2761     NTFS by default adds unnecessary serialization to an extent that
2762     even older file systems such as FFS do not, and its performance
2763     characteristics reflect that. In fairness, it should be said that it is
2764     the superior approach for most removable media without software control
2765     of ejection (e.g. IBM PC floppies).
2766     %%
2767     Never attribute to malice what could as well be explained by stupidity.
2768     - Hanlons razor -
2769     %%
2770     Shallit's Razor: Never attribute to conspiracy what may be adequately
2771     explained by stupidity or incompetence.
2772     %%
2773     According to Chris Nandor:
2774     > I thought about creating a web interface to input, edit, delete entries,
2775     > but that would have taken me longer, been more complex and less secure, and
2776     > offered no significant advantages.
2777    
2778     That one's in the quotes file. Thanks.
2779     %%
2780     My friend who had a Compaq called one day when his built-in cdrom drive
2781     stopped responding. Their answer "its a virus. Reinstal Windows". So he did
2782     (?) and it still didn't work. He called them and they said "its a virus,
2783     reinstall." "But I just installed. If there is a virus, it came from YOUR
2784     quick restore disk." "No, no virus there, but you DO have a virus. My paper
2785     in front of me says so."
2786    
2787     He took it back and bought a Gateway.
2788     %%
2789     9. Deinde, ne in posterum a XII kalendas aprilis aequinoctium recedat,
2790     statuimus bissextum quarto quoque anno (uti mos est) continuari debere,
2791     praeterquam in centesimis annis; qui, quamvis bissextiles antea semper
2792     fuerint, qualem etiam esse volumus annum MDC, post eum tamen qui
2793     deinceps consequentur centesimi non omnes bissextiles sint, sed in
2794     quadringentis quibusque annis primi quique tres centesimi sine bissexto
2795     transigantur, quartus vero quisque centesimus bissextilis sit, ita ut
2796     annus MDCC, MDCCC, MDCCCC bissextiles non sint. Anno vero MM, more
2797     consueto dies bissextus intercaletur, februario dies XXIX continente,
2798     idemque ordo intermittendi intercalandique bissextum diem in
2799     quadringentis quibusque annis perpetuo conservetur.
2800     %%
2801     You obviously have not dealt with Microsoft Winnt 4.0
2802     and all the Service Pack then. While one Service Pack
2803     did somewhat correct the Y2K problem was not aware that
2804     2000 was in fact a leap year. There was no way to set
2805     the date to Feb 29, 2000.
2806     %%
2807     "Ernst Lehmann, die Organisationsredundanz beim Cluster-Treffen"
2808     %%
2809     HP Computer NEWS 3/98 about HP 2000/CN printer (page 24): "Darüber
2810     hinaus ... hat der HP 2000C/CN durch den Einsatz von Intel MMX-
2811     Technologie Zugriff auf deren Farbtabellen und kann so Farbbilder
2812     schneller verarbeiten" (A mistake made when translating. It's hard to
2813     get the wrong meaning if translated back to English, sorry.)
2814     %%
2815     From: Robert Lipe
2816     > > I program computers with no screens and no keyboards for a living.
2817     > > Switches and front-panels are a LUXURY! :-)
2818     >
2819     > But I guess you are not _programming_ these computers without a keyboard
2820     > and/or screen.
2821    
2822     Are you familiar with the Vulcan Mind Meld?
2823     %%
2824     Subject: Re: [fwd from comp.lang.python] Re: Python 2 ideas [Re: access
2825     From: Tuomas Lukka <lukka@fas.harvard.edu>
2826    
2827     On Tue, 24 Nov 1998, Ilya Zakharevich wrote:
2828     > use pedantic;
2829     > use strict 'code';
2830     >
2831     > or whatever is the syntax to switch Perl into 'dull'/'pythonish' mode.
2832    
2833     use syntax 'python';
2834    
2835     Let's just embrace&extend'em ;) ;)
2836    
2837     %%
2838     Thus it was written in the epistle of Larry Wall,
2839     >
2840     > Having discussed all this thoroughly at the Hacker's Conference this
2841     > past weekend, I've come to the conclusion that Y2K will be traumatic
2842     > primarily because people *think* it will be traumatic. A panic is a
2843     > panic whether or not it's justified. People get trampled in panics.
2844     >
2845     > It should be illegal to yell "Y2K" in a crowded economy. :-)
2846     %%
2847     [rfc1925]
2848     Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick any two (you can't have all three).
2849     %%
2850     [Alan Cox, why not port hurd to sgi, instead of linux]
2851     > A possible minus is the message-passing between the servers which might
2852     > be time-consuming.
2853    
2854     "Yesterdays technology, next week" to quote an OSI saying
2855     %%
2856     UNIX versions of ctags handle the C language, and often Pascal and Fortran
2857     77. Sometimes, they even handle assembly language. Almost universally,
2858     however, they do not handle C++...
2859     [from "learning the vi editor"]
2860     %%
2861     > correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a thread about this a few
2862     > months back that resolved the ping -f localhost as a ping bug.
2863    
2864     Indeed, as Alan Cox said:
2865    
2866     So get a non-buggy ping(8) client.
2867    
2868     and as Ecclesiastes said:
2869    
2870     Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been
2871     already of old time, which was before us.
2872     There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any
2873     remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.
2874    
2875     Regards,
2876     Tigran.
2877     %%
2878     SNMP stands for Security Not My Problem
2879     %%
2880     [slightly broken, though...]
2881     /* "Hello World" in B for 64-bit hardware! */
2882     hw [0] "Hello World.*n";
2883     main(){
2884     extrn hw;
2885     putchar(0[hw]);
2886     hw=+1;
2887     putchar(0[hw]);
2888     }
2889     %%
2890     > So what comes first the chicken or the egg? :)
2891    
2892     The egg. Always. By definition.
2893     %%
2894     > > PPS: Robert, I just made my first y2k fix to that script ;()
2895     >
2896     > Better check your scsi cables.
2897     %%
2898     Arroganz durch Wissen
2899     [Dirk Jagdmann]
2900     %%
2901     [Re: Pegasus - Gut oder Boese?]
2902     > Weil er sie dabei ja unterstuetzt. Da er aber (abgesehen von den ersten
2903     > ein- oder zweimal) nur auf Anrufen von Rosa-Girl erscheint, koennte man es
2904     > auch anders herum sagen. wenn CU Pfeift, kommt er angaloppiert 8))
2905    
2906     was aber leider bedeutet, daß usa die Rennsemmel ständig mit
2907     sich rumschleppen mu?. ^_-
2908     Nur weil die Kleine die Bimmel hat!
2909    
2910     Und wer weiß, was dieses pädophile Pferd eigentlich noch so
2911     bezwecken will... ^_-
2912     %%
2913     >James :\
2914     >
2915     >I apologize for adding a message to this possibly trivial thread.
2916    
2917     I like your sig. I hope you use it for everything you post.
2918     %%
2919     From: Mason <mason@schwanda.resnet.tamu.edu>
2920     Subject: night of the undead ip stack
2921     Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1998 13:03:19 -0600 (CST)
2922     %%
2923     > The person who decides to invent UNICODE support for Linux
2924     > is just asking for a black eye.
2925    
2926     But Unicode for NT is such fun!
2927    
2928     For example, the checked DbgPrint() bluescreens above DISPATCH_LEVEL
2929     if you try to print a Unicode string--the Unicode->ASCII
2930     translation tables are marked as pageable.
2931    
2932     Since as far as I know, printk() does not have any format specifiers
2933     that cause obscure kernel panics, Linux is clearly behind in this
2934     area.
2935     %%
2936     Linux: a no problem operating system for no problem people.
2937     [Lukas Grunwald]
2938     %%
2939     http://dd.sh/perlfs/:
2940    
2941     THIS IS AN EXPERIMENTAL (PRE-ALPHA) VERSION OF THE PERL FILESYSTEM.
2942     EVEN WHEN IT LOADS WITHOUT CAUSING A KERNEL PANIC, IT WILL LOCK UP
2943     YOUR MACHINE, DESTROY ALL YOUR DATA, KIDNAP YOUR FAMILY AND
2944     (DEPENDING ON SAID FAMILY'S CONFIGURATION) SHOOT YOUR CAT, DOG, AND/OR
2945     FIRST-BORN CHILD.
2946     %%
2947     [a comment on http://dd.sh/perlfs/]
2948     Forget GNU/Linux. /PerL/inux will conquer all.
2949    
2950     kill 0,1 if -x '/PerL/inux'; # request kernel mode
2951     %%
2952     [Tim Hollebeek on real arithmetic]
2953     On a machine with a sane floating point model, the results make sense.
2954     For example, my SGI workstation prints:
2955    
2956     0.00000000000000011102 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000020000 1.00000000000000040000
2957    
2958     However, a machine with the Intel FPU from hell gives:
2959    
2960     0.00000000000000000005 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000000000
2961    
2962     due to the fact that whether 1+x and 1 are the same number depends on whether
2963     the numbers are in the FPU or not.
2964     %%
2965     [Grüner Tip/Arte]
2966     Ihre Nachbarn sind zu laut und feiern andauernd Parties? Kein Problem, ihr
2967     Bohrer wird nachts um zwei spielend mit _jedem_ Lärm fertig....
2968     %%
2969     Remember, eating healthy doesn't make you live longer, it just makes it seem
2970     longer...
2971     %%
2972     [M$ about unix development tools like GCC]
2973     By the standards of the novice / intermediate developer accustomed to
2974     VB/VS/VC/VJ, these tools are incredibly primitive.
2975     %%
2976     > > Praha is nice and our university is interesting, since it is according
2977     > > to tests most complex and impractical computer science university on the
2978     > > world :) I just love it...
2979     >
2980     > Oh well, great that I won't be studying there...
2981     >
2982     It is really fun.... just now I have lesson (that reminds me that I really
2983     should go now) about set theory and infinity... it is really fun and very
2984     practical...
2985     for example that you have cinema with infinity chairs and infinity plus one
2986     person wants to see movie... what do yo do?
2987     Just let sit down the first infinity persons and then last person ask first
2988     one to move to second chair, second one to move to third and so on and
2989     everyone fits.. isn't that great to know? :))
2990    
2991     Jan Hubicka
2992     %%
2993     > template< template< template<class> class > class Tmpl> A {};
2994     [...]
2995     > I think that this construction is allowed by the ANSI C++.
2996    
2997     No, it is not. What you meant is
2998    
2999     template< template< template<class> class > class Tmpl> class A {};
3000     %%
3001     Jan Dubois writes:
3002     > A) perl-5.00553
3003     > path = \perl\5.00553\bin\MsWin32-x86\perl.exe
3004     > cc = cl.exe
3005     A performance analysis compiling with M$ compiler? Get real!
3006    
3007     [...]
3008    
3009     Ilya
3010     %%
3011     >Shouldn't the kernel compile with all combinations of options.
3012    
3013     Yes. Feel free to fix it and send a patch.
3014    
3015     p.
3016     %%
3017     [tomc]
3018     Jean-Louis provides four arguments in favor of the overloading of the
3019     logical && and || operators. Here they are:
3020    
3021     +------------------------------------------+
3022     | Other languages, notably C++, permit it. |
3023     +------------------------------------------+
3024    
3025     This one is hardly persuasive. Many languages do innumerable things
3026     that Perl does not do. Just for example, take:
3027    
3028     * Csh reparses and re-evals interpolated strings, allowing something
3029     like C<$cmd $var> to do interesting things.
3030     * The Fortran lexer (as it were), having no need of white space to
3031     infer tokens, allows C<DO I=1.10> and C<DO I=1,10> to coexist in an
3032     interesting way.
3033     * Icon has an entirely different notion of success and failure,
3034     allowing expressions like (X < Y < Z) to do interesting things.
3035     * Scheme has call-with-continuation, allowing co-routines to do
3036     interesting things.
3037     * C++ has template classes with abnormal typing rules even for that
3038     language, allowing parameterized meta-classes to do interesting
3039     things.
3040     %%
3041     Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it.
3042     --Dennis Ritchie
3043     %%
3044     perl -wlpe '}{$_=$.' file # Count the number of lines.
3045     %%
3046     [not quite duff's device, but...]
3047    
3048     switch (x)
3049     default:
3050     if (prime(x))
3051     case 2: case 3: case 5: case 7:
3052     process_prime(x);
3053     else
3054     case 4: case 6: case 8: case 9: case 10:
3055     process_composite(x);
3056     %%
3057     Is there any truth to the rumor that the number appearing
3058     after the words "Microsoft Windows" is the minimum amount of memory,
3059     in megabytes, required for execution?
3060    
3061     Craig Milo Rogers
3062     %%
3063     Mark Mielke writes:
3064     > This statement is false. The simple fact that school textbooks teach it
3065     > to be indeterminate should be enough to convince you of that.
3066    
3067     This is just another reference point about the state of education in
3068     US (apparently in Canada too?).
3069    
3070     Ilya
3071     %%
3072     [from p5p]
3073     > Now you know why threading is experimental and all, buddy.
3074    
3075     Experimental schexperimental. Anything that doesn't cause an
3076     immediate coredump is not experimental. :-) (Observant readers will
3077     note that this is a more rigorous standard than Microsoft's.)
3078    
3079     Nat
3080     %%
3081     Needless to say, Linux awk is probably gawk, which has been taking too
3082     much steroids for a while. =)
3083    
3084     --Albert Dvornik
3085     <bert@genscan.com>
3086     %%
3087     Subject: Re: zero width lookbehind considered slow
3088     From: Tom Christiansen <tchrist@jhereg.perl.com>
3089     Date: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 17:40:37 -0500
3090    
3091     >*You* do not understand? Perl is slow...
3092    
3093     Ilya: You are formerly invited to go play in the python
3094     or tcl crowd instead of here.
3095    
3096     --tom
3097     %%
3098     >What's it? Can linux be improved too? Or has it already been improved?
3099    
3100     Linux has never done anything so stupid in the first place.
3101    
3102     Linus
3103     %%
3104     On the 8th day god created email. And got noted the world was good. Then the
3105     devil added HTML mail...
3106     %%
3107     linux/lib/vsprintf.c: * Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-)
3108     linux/arch/sparc64/kernel/binfmt_aout32.c: /* Fuck me plenty... */
3109     linux/arch/sparc64/kernel/ptrace.c:/* Fuck me gently with a chainsaw... */
3110     %%
3111     On 1998-10-11T02:37:57,
3112     Alan Cox <alan@lxorguk.ukuu.org.uk> said:
3113    
3114     > Believe me Microsoft think Linux is a threat now. Its level with things like
3115     > java in their perceived threat list, so you can expect all the usual MS
3116     > techniques to start coming this way and very soon.
3117    
3118     Arm the gnus!
3119     %%
3120     [David Miller after (another) endless discussion with Richard Kenner]
3121    
3122     Anyways, I tired (just like everyone else) of arguing endlessly with
3123     you, you're in the past, you no longer constrain my ability to improve
3124     gcc, so go away.
3125     %%
3126     I received my copy of Visual Studio 6.0 today. I couldn't believe that it
3127     wanted to install the C++ compiler into a directory called:
3128    
3129     "\Program Files\Microsoft Visual Studio\VC98"
3130    
3131     But anyways, I just had to find out if it was finally possible to compile
3132     Perl (without PERL_OBJECT) with optimization (-O2).
3133     %%
3134     [on perl version numbering]
3135     > So it could be 5.006 for the developers, but "ThreadPerl" or "Perl with
3136     > Multithreads" (or some such) for the journalists, if that's what
3137     > journalists need to make them pay attention.
3138    
3139     Down that path lies "Perl version 5.006, codename `Ticklish Uvula',
3140     was released today" madness.
3141     %%
3142     [on perl version numbering]
3143     > elaine> 5.1 would be a good thing(tm) as it would draw attention,
3144     > elaine> etc. in a way that a developers versioning would. The
3145     > elaine> world is not populated by people who think the same
3146     > elaine> way. To that end, this would be a good change. Of course,
3147     > elaine> we could call it Perl99.
3148     >
3149     > To me, Perl seems to be recognized for it's language qualities, not
3150     > for marketing reasons. IMHO, perl may keep this difference with other
3151     > wintel product. More than that : Perl99, would let believe people that
3152     > it is not Y2K proofed, or still in beta (<1.00). So it's not a good
3153     > marketing name, anyway.
3154    
3155     Right. Then, to be Y2K compliant, we'll have to call it Perl1999. Hmmm.
3156     "The year perl left earth's orbit"? Maybe we need to get the NASA guys to
3157     put perl on the next low-cost spaceshot.
3158    
3159     Of course, then c.l.p.m's motto could be "We do not commit *mindless*
3160     violence..." :-)
3161     %%
3162     Rule 1 says that Larry says that Larry has the last say, unless he changes
3163     his mind in which case he still has the last say.
3164     %%
3165     > >I never said it did.. I should have said: Binary only drivers encourage
3166     > >poor drivers
3167     >
3168     > No it doesn't.
3169    
3170     Indeed. Its down to
3171    
3172     Profit = (units * margin) - overhead
3173    
3174     and the folks who decide "overhead" arent the programmers but the management.
3175     The folks who say "you have two weeks allocated to write this driver, then
3176     we ship it" are the folks to take the issue up with, and that goes source
3177     or binaries.
3178     %%
3179     dig txt leap.yp.to
3180     %%
3181     "The fact that I'm paranoid doesn't mean that nobody's after me..."
3182     %%
3183     [linux-kernel on endianess issues with NIPQUAD]
3184    
3185     |> Do I read this correct?!? Is it more acceptable to have a bug[*],
3186     |> than a not optimal fix?!?!?
3187     |>
3188     |> s/optimal/stupid/
3189    
3190     What's stupid is little endian. <g>
3191    
3192     Andreas.
3193     %%
3194     [Paul Eggert on tz@elsie.nci.nih.gov]
3195     ...
3196     A closely related question is `What is 1 minute before 23:59:60?''.
3197    
3198     Here's a good one: `What is 1 month before 1 February 1995 in
3199     Kiritimati?''. There was no 1 January 1995 in Kiritimati; they
3200     skipped a day by moving the clocks ahead 24 hours. Similar issues
3201     arise when asking about times that occur within smaller, more typical
3202     UTC offset changes. A number of obscure questions arise here, and I'm
3203     not sure it's worth standardizing all the answers.
3204     %%
3205     [D.J.Bernstein on tz@elsie.nci.nih.gov]
3206    
3207     Paul Eggert writes:
3208     > which I am calling the `modified TIME_TAI''
3209    
3210     Your time differences break down near leap seconds. Ever watched xntpd
3211     try to handle a leap second? Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble.
3212     %%
3213     For binary only drivers you can assume most vendors will build x86 only
3214     however.
3215    
3216     "We don't have the tools"
3217     "We can't support a non intel build"
3218     "We don't have that sort of machine"
3219     "Its not worth the time cost"
3220     "Whats an Alpha ?"
3221     %%
3222     On Thu, 1 Oct 1998, Mail Delivery Subsystem wrote:
3223    
3224     > The original message was received at Thu, 1 Oct 1998 18:39:56 -0400
3225     > from mini [10.0.0.3]
3226     >
3227     > ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
3228     > <mailproc@fred>
3229     >
3230     > ----- Transcript of session follows -----
3231     > procmail: can't map '/lib/libc.so.5'
3232     > procmail: can't map '/lib/libc.so.5'
3233     > procmail: can't load library 'libc.so.5'
3234     > 554 <mailproc@fred>... unknown mailer error 16
3235     %%
3236     > Here is the difficulty with this discussion:
3237     > No documented problem
3238     > No reason to believe that the "solution" solves the unspecified "problem"
3239     > No clear understanding of the effects of this change on the system
3240     >
3241     > Why, this could be a discusion among AIX developers!
3242     %%
3243     > This would be a reasonable committee-like compromise that might
3244     > satisfy neither of us (:-).
3245     %%
3246     By default Microsoft has set Explorer to use gz files as VRML, you need to
3247     change the association for .gz / vrml from "start vrml program" to "always ask"
3248    
3249     dave
3250     %%
3251     On 10 Aug 1998, Ben Pfaff wrote:
3252     DG> You're not programming MS-DOS applications are you?
3253    
3254     BP> Hell no. I wouldn't touch MS-DOS with a ten-foot network cable.
3255     %%
3256     [Paul Eggert on tz@elsie.nci.nih.gov]
3257    
3258     Date: 10 Oct 1998 15:35:05 -0000
3259     From: "D. J. Bernstein" <djb@cr.yp.to>
3260    
3261     Paul Eggert writes:
3262     > * 29 February if it's a leap lear, 28 February otherwise.
3263    
3264     If that's 1 month before 31 March, then what's 1 month before 30 March?
3265     1 month before 29 March?
3266    
3267     The same as 1 month before 31 March.
3268    
3269     1 month before 28 March?
3270    
3271     28 February.
3272    
3273     And what's 1 month after 28 February? 1 month after 27 February? 1 month
3274     _before_ 27 February?
3275    
3276     28 March, 27 March, and 27 January.
3277     %%
3278     Newsgroups: comp.lang.c
3279    
3280     >Nils Goesche wrote:
3281     >> So make a security check first:
3282     >>
3283     >> if (status = UNDER_NUCLEAR_ATTACK)
3284     >> launch_full_counterstrike();
3285     >
3286     >Hmmm. The way the worlds been going lately, AI wouldn't trust that code to
3287     >do the job. Here's the revised version:
3288     >
3289     >if(status == UNDER_NULEAR_ATTACK); /* Corrected dangerous
3290     > = instead of == error*/
3291     > launch_full_counterstrike();
3292     >
3293     >Now isn't that much more reliable?
3294     >
3295     >--
3296     >Email: cyrand@hotmail.com
3297    
3298     The following variant is less reliable but much safer:
3299    
3300     if (status == UNDER_NUCLEAR_ATTACK); /* Correct dangerous
3301     launch_full_counterstrike (); = instead == error */
3302     %%
3303     It is even more cheerful than that. Not so long time ago a customers
3304     of ours totally destroyed his NT installation on Alpha.
3305    
3306     He found on a manufacturer page, no money - for a download, "NT driver"
3307     for his particular piece of a hardware. So he followed instructions
3308     to the letter - "Installation Wizzard" and all that crap - and the thing
3309     happily installed clobbering, as it is customary in these circles,
3310     essential system libraries with its own versions. The catch was that
3311     this driver was for NT/Intel and these bozos did not even bother to
3312     check for an architecture or at least mention something in some blurb.
3313     Ooops! No chance even to try to boot anymore.
3314    
3315     The saving grace was that the installation was rather new, so loses
3316     were not big, and he had an opportunity to practice an essential skill
3317     of re-installing Windows NT. Ah, and yes, this was the only NT driver
3318     available for that hardware from any source.
3319     What do you plan on doing? Using a PA system for networking? :)
3320     Whats next? A *Smell* modem? It would bring a new meaning to packet
3321     sniffing!
3322     %%
3323     "I'd rather spend 10 hours reading source code than 10 minutes on a
3324     technical support line that isn't"
3325     %%
3326     [from linux-kernel]
3327     `This code fills 8 million seats, we therefore decide what's standard.''
3328     %%
3329     [...]
3330     And especially with new machines users have a lot of clout. Several UK
3331     suppliers now carry Buslogic cards partly because they got fed up of
3332    
3333     "I'd like to order a dual PII/300, 256Mb of RAM, 17" monitor
3334     4 4Gig IBM disks, and a buslogic scsi controller"
3335     "We dont do buslogic only adaptec"
3336     "Nothing else"
3337     "Sorry"
3338     [Click]
3339    
3340     Alan
3341     %%
3342     Fünfzig Prozent der Amerikaner wurden in ihrer Kindheit sexuell mißbraucht,
3343     während weitere fünfzig Prozent von Außerirdischen entführt wurden.
3344     %%
3345     > Let's not forget that this is just an informal, free
3346     > software project. Unlke the US House of Representatives
3347     > we do not yet posess nuclear capability (certain RTEMS
3348     > users excepted, of course!).
3349    
3350     Hmmm, if some RTEMS users have nuclear facilities attached to their
3351     systems, they might be well advised to be careful using FORTRAN as
3352     their language of choice. The comp.lang.fortran FAQ states (with
3353     concurrence from resident X3J3 members) that "using a non-standard
3354     construct might start WW III, if the necessary (optional) hardware
3355     is installed"
3356    
3357     [Toon Moene in private discussion]
3358     %%
3359     Newsgroups: alt.config
3360    
3361     L. Harris wrote:
3362     >
3363     > Testing
3364    
3365     you failed.
3366     %%
3367     Roswell {Unit 6 of 5 Sam Borg} Coverup [Rev. joWazzoo - well mannered despammer]
3368     <JOWazzoo@WhiteICE.com> at We are Sam Borg Spam Assimilators Ltd. - Area 51 HQ
3369     %%
3370     Perl is really designed more for the guys that will hack Perl at least
3371     20 minutes a day for the rest of their career. TCL/Python is more a
3372     "20 minutes a week", and VB is probably in that "20 minutes a month"
3373     group. :) -- Randal Schwartz
3374     %%
3375     > alternative, when it comes to stability and power...Not to mention the
3376     > fact that bugs and fixes are very quickly available and don't come in
3377     > 18MB+ "Service Packs" :).
3378    
3379     What, you mean you _paid_ for service pack '98?
3380     %%
3381     We got this INTERNET because we whan't more information ( to learn ) now it
3382     seem's people can't handle what they see. You say freedom is a mater of
3383     choice (well it is) you have the freedom to choose to carry your butt some
3384     where else...
3385     %%
3386     Steve Orzel (phloam@vol.com) wrote:
3387     [...]
3388     : The purpose of the newsgroup is to help out other people that have questions
3389     : about a certain topic.
3390     %%
3391     Mark Robinson wrote:
3392     >
3393     > Does any have any source code to games that I can have? Does anybody
3394     > know where I can get game sources(legally)?
3395    
3396     Here's the trial version of the three-room text adventure I'm going to
3397     write. I'm not finished yet, though.
3398    
3399     void main (void)
3400     {
3401     printf ("You are in a dark room.\n");
3402     printf ("\n");
3403     printf ("You feel a sharp pain.\n");
3404     printf ("You have died.\n");
3405     printf ("\n");
3406     printf ("!!! GAME OVER !!!");
3407     }
3408    
3409     (Don't tell, but I took some of the code from Quake.)
3410    
3411     --
3412     John Kugelman. kugelman@mnsinc.com
3413     %%
3414     [mail I got after releasing a zip-password cracker, the second biggest
3415     mistake I ever made]
3416    
3417     From: "Tom Miller"
3418     Subject: Can
3419     X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3
3420    
3421     Hay man can you send me some hacking tips and tricks please
3422     send to kymmiller@bigpond.com
3423     my name is Tom Miller
3424    
3425     From: "Tom Miller"
3426     Subject: Wait
3427     X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3
3428    
3429     Hey man its Tom can you also send me any easy systems to hack and the
3430     passwords also send me any infomation about hacking websites thank you
3431     %%
3432     From: lm@bitmover.com (Larry McVoy)
3433    
3434     [...] then think a little before flaming. Or better yet, produce something
3435     better. Flaming is easy but it is basically masturbation without the orgasm
3436     so why bother? [...]
3437     %%
3438     Günter Höns <guenter.hoens@gmd.de>
3439    
3440     Newsgroups: de.alt.ufo
3441    
3442     Offensichtlich ist noch keinem das Wasser-Wachstum aufgefallen, das sogar
3443     jeden Tag geschieht. Jeden Tag waechst der Wasserberg im Meer um mehrere
3444     Meter, ist dann naeher an der Sonne und verdunstet dann. Sogenannte
3445     Wissenschaftler haben eine abenteuerliche Theorie ueber den Einfluss des
3446     Mondes auf dieses Wachstum aufgestellt, aber inzwischen wissen wir es
3447     besser: Die Wasser-Molekuele werden von Neutrinos getroffen, und verdoppeln
3448     sich dann.
3449     %%
3450     CRASH(8)
3451     no fs
3452     A device has disappeared from the mounted-device table.
3453     Definitely hardware or software error.
3454    
3455     Unix Version 7 Manual
3456     %%
3457     On Tue, 4 Aug 1998, Larry Wall wrote:
3458     >
3459     > Maybe Pi looks like this:
3460     >
3461     > =for C
3462     > i++; /* add 1 to i */
3463     > =end
3464     > =for C++
3465     > i.value() += 1; // add 1 to i, probably
3466     > =end
3467     > =for Java
3468     > system().foo().bar().i().value().please().increment(); // ???
3469     > =end
3470     >
3471     > :-)
3472     %%
3473     > > USENET is *not* the non-clickable part of WWW!
3474     %%
3475     [on linux 2.1.111]
3476    
3477     The horrid underlining which was a feature with the monochrome Linux vt's on
3478     the previous two releases of the kernel has gone. Unfortunately, so has the
3479     cursor. A couple of brief experiments didn't result in me finding a way to
3480     turn it on.
3481     %%
3482     [...]
3483     its a true story, it happend this weekend in a nice country
3484     between Belgium (wellknown for its Dutroux-case) and Germany
3485     (wellknown for its Bratwurst), lets call it the Lowlands...
3486     [...]
3487     %%
3488     I get a sense of god-like proportions when I patch /dev/kmem with dd(1).
3489    
3490     Chad C Giffin
3491     %%
3492     [usenet, an anology]
3493     Mary Green's car was smoking. She got worried. "Whatever should I do?"
3494     worried Mary... Well, as she drove along she noticed a florists shop. "Aha!
3495     Thought Mary, "Flour shops are full of thoughtless men who need to apologize to
3496     their wives. These men are the sometimes the same ones I see swearing under
3497     the hoods of their cars in the shade of a tree."
3498    
3499     "Brrring" said the bell of the door to the flower shop as Mary poked her head
3500     through the door.
3501     "HELP!!! MY CAR IS SMOKING!" Screamed Mary.
3502     "There is a garage right next door." Said the shopkeeper.
3503     "That's right," Said Melvin, "And there is a parts store across the street. If
3504     you ask for Fred, he's pretty savvy about that kind of stuff."
3505     Now Joe was also in the flower store. This was his first time in trouble, so
3506     he did not hear the 30 or 40 people per day who came in screaming about their
3507     cars smoking (mostly men, of course -- the ones under the shade trees,
3508     usually.)
3509    
3510     "Why don't you help the stinking lady!!" Screamed Joe. "It might be your
3511     muffler bearings..." he continued. Or maybe it's your deisel glow plugs or
3512     your tire pressure..."
3513     Now Tim, also new to the flower shop felt the courage to chime in, "Or it could
3514     even be your cooling system. Sometimes a hose gets a crack."
3515     "My car smoked once and it was an oil leak, where the head gasket was spraying
3516     oil in the manifold." Hollered Larry
3517     "Hey lady, why don't you get your car the patch if it's smoking" chortled Glen.
3518     Well, the hollering went on into the evening, and the lady finally went to the
3519     gas station and found that the heater core had a tiny split and was repaired in
3520     three days for a cost of $175.23.
3521     %%
3522     > Nun gut, Berliner sollen ja eh etwas heller sein.
3523    
3524     Sicher, das macht der Inzest, und die Isolation!:)
3525     %%
3526     > Nun gut, Berliner sollen ja eh etwas heller sein.
3527    
3528     Stimmt, deswegen waren sie wohl auch die ersten, die Hitler hinterherliefen...
3529     :-(
3530     %%
3531     >Mt 24,34 Wahrlich, ich sage euch: Dieses Geschlecht wird nicht vergehen, bis
3532     >dies alles geschieht.
3533     >Und es verging nicht.
3534    
3535     So what?
3536    
3537     Ich dachte eher an:
3538    
3539     " 'Und sein Wabbel wird an einer Lanze aufgespiesst', wiederholte der
3540     Oberste Groesste Meister grimmig. Im Hintergrund knarrte etwas, als
3541     Bruder Pfoertner versuchte, das klemmende Portal zu oeffnen. 'Sind wir
3542     jetzt alle soweit? Befinden sich vielleicht noch andere Unwissende
3543     unter uns,die sich verirrt haben?' fuegte er mit aetzendem Sarkasmus
3544     hinzu. 'Gut. Wunderbar. Ich bin ja _so_ froh. Vermutlich brauche ich
3545     nicht zu fragen, ob die vier Wachtuerme geschlossen sind, oder? Oh,
3546     ausgezeichnet. Hat sich jemand die Muehe gemacht, der Heiligen Hose
3547     die Beichte abzunehmen? Ach, tatsaechlich? Auf die richtige Art und
3548     Weise? Und wenn ich nachsehe? Na schoen. Sind vor den Fenstern die
3549     roten Kordeln des Intellekts gespannt worden? Gut. Nun, dann koennen
3550     wir jetzt vielleicht beginnen.' ".
3551    
3552     Terry Pratchett, "Wachen! Wachen!", S. 15f
3553    
3554     Antje
3555     %%
3556     [....]
3557    
3558     Da muss ich ja, obwohl ich beinahe meinen Humor verloren haette, leise
3559     grinsen. Ich darf zusammenfassen: Du bringst uns keine Beweise, weil Du 1.
3560     zu arm und 2. zu sehr ausgelastet mit der Rettung der Welt und der Zukunft
3561     und so bist. Ausserdem brauchst Du keine Beweise, weil sich Dein
3562     Gedankengebaeude nach eingehender Nabelschau als selbsttragend erwiesen hat.
3563     Finde ich gut! Akzeptiert!
3564    
3565     Da will ich nicht weiter stoeren,
3566    
3567     Antje
3568     %%
3569     It seems that writing to /dev/vcs0 makes the console singing "Ugh,
3570     lalala, I love you baby..."
3571     --
3572     Pavel.Janik@inet.cz
3573     %%
3574     On Thu, 16 Jul 1998, Linus Torvalds wrote:
3575     >
3576     > Kubys
3577    
3578     Kubys is my evil twin brother. Sorry about that.
3579    
3580     Linus
3581     %%
3582     > eieio stands for "Enforce In-Order Execution of I/O".
3583    
3584     .... and it is definitely my favorite name for an assembly language
3585     instruction (the non-native-English speakers on the list presumably
3586     don't know the childhood song "Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O").
3587     %%
3588     > It is *big* and never uses.
3589    
3590     That's parses like English, but I'll be hornswoggled if I can figure
3591     out what it means.
3592     --
3593     Chip Salzenberg - a.k.a. - <chip@perlsupport.com>
3594     %%
3595     [...] HP's PA-8500, for example, has 1.5 Mbytes of L1 cache on-chip. The
3596     company has described the 8500 as a cache SRAM with an ancillary CPU. [...]
3597     %%
3598     From: Dave Cinege <dcinege@psychosis.com>
3599     Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 06:10:31 -0400
3600    
3601     Terry L Ridder wrote:
3602    
3603     > at some future date end up being released under the BSD License is what
3604     > is being discussed.
3605    
3606     Well my licence is bigger then your licence.
3607     %%
3608     [gtk/testgtk, after dragging & dropping an object:]
3609    
3610     Drop data of type text/plain was:
3611    
3612     Bill Gates demands royalties for your use of his innovation
3613    
3614     [and the button reads]
3615    
3616     Continue with life in spite of this oppression
3617     %%
3618     Joshua Waxman <jwaxman@ymail.yu.edu> writes:
3619    
3620     While DJGPP is indeed a C as well as a C compiler, there are certain
3621    
3622     A terribly succinct, as well as a true, statement. However, it has a
3623     certain amount of redundancy.
3624     %%
3625     Compatibility with oneself is Microsoft's greatest strength. When they hit
3626     the 64 bit transition they will hit a major internal incompatibility problem.
3627    
3628     ...
3629    
3630     Peter da Silva <peter@baileynm.com>
3631     %%
3632     >Hello,
3633     >
3634     >I am new to Perl. Can anyone tell me where I can download a full
3635     >operational Perl version for a Windows 95 system?
3636     >
3637    
3638     Of course it all depends on what you mean by "a full operational Perl
3639     version" Perl on Win32 has limitations that are largely due to the
3640     nature of the underlying OS, Perl on Win95 has further limitations
3641     compared with NT due to its own shortcomings .
3642     %%
3643     An injunction delaying Windows 98 would clearly have a negative impact
3644     on the country as a whole.
3645     Compaq President & CEO Eckhard Pfeiffer,
3646     explaining why Microsoft shouldn't be
3647     prosecuted under anti-monopoly laws.
3648     %%
3649     With a PC, I always felt limited by the software available. On Unix, I am
3650     limited by my knowledge. --Peter J. Schoenster <pschon@baste.magibox.net>
3651     %%
3652     There is a need to keep from being locked into Open Systems. --IBM sales rep
3653     %%
3654     In comp.lang.perl.misc,
3655     Stylin <stylinsty@yahoo.comREMOVE> writes:
3656     :Can anyone point me to the algorithm for creating a unique id?
3657    
3658     $id = `cat /dev/kmem`;
3659    
3660     --tom
3661     --
3662     Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. :-)
3663     --Larry Wall in <8571@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
3664     %%
3665     Newsgroup: comp.lang.perl.misc
3666     Subject: Larry 1 Bill 0
3667     %%
3668     On 3 Jul 1998, Ben Pfaff wrote:
3669    
3670     > The only problem with these AIs is that they don't handle references
3671     > to themselves as AIs very well. In faSegmentation fault (core dumped)
3672     > NO CARRIER
3673     > !@*&#@#%T^@&*(GU*SD*(@!&*(@#R(*FERHGH*(@#(&$&#@Y!&R
3674     %%
3675     > People come here to ask questions, not for intellectual gratification, but
3676     > rather they are seeking solutions. As such, the incorrect answer was
3677     > better.
3678    
3679     There's something... terribly wrong with this statement. I can't quite put
3680     my finger on it. Hmmm.
3681     %%
3682     comp.lang.c does not exist to accomodate the laziness of those who cannot be
3683     bothered to learn netiquette. That's what comp.lang.c++ is for.
3684     %%
3685     |> : > but... a microwave is an example of an embedded system,
3686     |>
3687     |> : Who says? He just said it was a microwave. He didn't say it was
3688     |> : a free-standing implimentation.
3689     |>
3690     |> This is approaching arguing for the sake of argument. Have you
3691     |> ever seen a microwave oven that supports a hosted C environment?
3692    
3693     The Lipton Ritchie Model 8 did. I'm sure that many posters will
3694     point out that Lipton's implementation of the stdio libraries was
3695     horrendously buggy. It was, but it was still a great system. It
3696     remains the only C implementation I know of that could be used to
3697     build Bison, and then cook it.
3698    
3699     Viva la buffalo burgers.
3700     %%
3701     A strategically-placed PDP-11 can be used to heat your entire
3702     home. I've got one in my basement, next to a large box of "She's
3703     The Sheriff" drink coasters. I sold my furnace years ago. The
3704     Digital Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning Corporation
3705     can be found online at http://www.dhvacc.com/.
3706     %%
3707     The lbxproxy program has various options, all of which are optional.
3708     -- lbxproxy(1)
3709     %%
3710     Re: Where to learn Windows programming...
3711    
3712     |> I'll take a Schildt book any day, thanks.
3713    
3714     Great. I'm expecting to see the line above as a back-cover blurb
3715     on the next "Bullschildt: The Complete Reference".
3716     %%
3717     Subject: Re: The wrong position of while, if and else?
3718    
3719     that's some ugly piece of code buddy...
3720     %%
3721     In article <1998062718481700.OAA03186@ladder01.news.aol.com>, eyrei@aol.com (EYREI) writes:
3722     |> I have recently started learning the C Language. I have created a simple file
3723     |> to determine whether or not a number is Prime. When I run it, the program
3724     |> crashes with the error message :- Unhandled Exception :- General Protection
3725     |> Exception 0x5FD7:0x379F. Prime(1) Processor Fault.
3726    
3727     |> What does this mean.
3728    
3729     It means you've got a broken operating system, and should immediately
3730     install [free|net|open]BSD[OS] or Linux.
3731     %%
3732     Newsgroups: comp.lang.c
3733    
3734     On Thu, 25 Jun 1998, Emulov wrote:
3735     > Hi, i don't know if this is a stupid question..
3736    
3737     Off-topic, too! Imagine that.
3738     %%
3739     "Right now we are the most shit hot piece of PC networking software on the
3740     planet. The only people who can touch us are FreeBSD (who also dont do
3741     streams)."
3742     -- Alan Cox, in "Streams and Linux"
3743     %%
3744     "Perl combines all of the worst aspects of BASIC, C and line noise."
3745     - Keith Packard <keithp@ncd.com>
3746     %%
3747     Lord Fellatio <richter_m@hotmail.com>
3748    
3749     >Wo soll das Loch denn dann sein? Im Meeresboden?
3750    
3751     Klaro.
3752    
3753     >Von oben duerfte man es also ueberhaupt nicht sehen
3754     >koennen, da ueber dem potentiellen Loch im Meeresboden doch
3755     >wahrscheinlich erstmal Wasser und dann viel Eis liegen wuerde. Wie
3756     >verhindern die Ausserirdischen denn, dass Wasser ins Loch einstroemt?
3757    
3758     Na ist doch völlig logo, mit nem rotierenden Traktorstrahl. Die
3759     Energie klauen die ?r***e dem Erdmagnetfeld.
3760    
3761     >Gibt es da einen kosmischen Badewannenstoepsel? Haben sie es mit
3762     >Eisbergen verstopft? Oder benutzen sie das einstroemende Wasser zu
3763     >Kajakfahrten bis hinunter zum Suedpol? (Das waere doch auch endlich
3764     >mal eine einleuchtende Erklaerung fuer die Eismassen, die die
3765     >Antarktis bedecken - man muesste halt nur, der Kontinentaldrift
3766     >folgend, immer wieder neue Schaechte bohren. Oder die Kontinentaldrift
3767     >einfach wegdiskutieren...)
3768    
3769     Die enorme Zentrifugalkraft im Erdinnern schleudert das Wasser wieder
3770     am Nordpolpol raus, falls der Traktorstrahl versagen sollte (Dies
3771     passiert immer dann, wenn das Erdmagnetfeld umkippt). Nun kommt sicher
3772     der Einwand, die Erde würde zu langsam rotieren. Das ist nur bedingt
3773     richtig. Richtig ist hingegen, daß die Rotationsgeschwindigkeit im
3774     Erdinnern um den Faktor 1000 (ca; sehr schwer zu messen: Magma) größer
3775     ist als auf der Erdoberfläche. Dies ist auch die Ursache für die
3776     Kontinentaldrift und die Mondphasen.
3777    
3778     Die Mondphasen wiederum beeinflussen das Erdmagnetfeld und sind daher
3779     die Ursache für die Sonnenflecken. Den Sonnenflecken haben wir auch
3780     die momentane Klimaveränderung zu verdanken. Auf der anderen Seite hat
3781     die Zunahme der Treibhausgase eine Erhöhung des Reflektionsvermögens
3782     der Atmosphäre zur Folge, welches dazu führt, daß ein Teil der
3783     Sonnenenergie zur Sonne zurückreflektiert wird. Dies heizt wiederum
3784     die Sonnenflecken auf und verkürzt deren Zyklus. All dies wird sich in
3785     den nächten Monaten so aufschaukeln, daß vorraussichtlich im Novemner
3786     2002 das Erdmagnetfeld zusammenbrechen wird. Wie damals bei den Dinos.
3787     Nur war dort ein Kometeneinschlag die Ursache.
3788    
3789     cu in hell 2002
3790     %%
3791     "Hiroshima '45, Chernobyl '85, Windows '95"
3792     %%
3793     >In unix, one might say 'man 3 crypt'.
3794    
3795     Of course, on a Solaris system this won't give you what you want. You
3796     get a message that it can't find the man page for 3. It then prints
3797     the man page for crypt(1).
3798    
3799     Of course, all a beginner has to do is figure out that the 3 is the
3800     section number in the Unix manual. He can then use man man to find
3801     that on Solaris one uses -s to specify the section so he'll try
3802    
3803     man -s3 crypt
3804    
3805     Unfortunately, that doesn't work either. He'll get the message "No
3806     entry for crypt in section(s) 3 of the manual."
3807    
3808     If he doesn't give up, he can go back to the manual page for man and
3809     find that the -a switch prints all matching manual pages. Or perhaps
3810     he can figure out to use the command
3811    
3812     man -s3 Intro.3
3813    
3814     to get a list of everything in section 3. He'll then find out that
3815     crypt is in section 3C so he should use
3816    
3817     man -s3c crypt
3818    
3819     Gee. I don't understand why beginners have so much trouble with this
3820     stuff. I've only been programming Unix for 15 years and I don't have
3821     any trouble.
3822     --
3823     Michael M Rubenstein
3824     %%
3825     Take a moment to consider these lines:
3826    
3827     %OVERLOAD=( '""' => sub { join("", @{$_[0]}) } );
3828    
3829     sub html { my($type)=shift; bless ["<$type>", @_, "</$type>"]; }
3830    
3831     :-) I *love* Perl 5! Thankyou Larry and Ilya.
3832    
3833     Regards,
3834     Tim Bunce.
3835    
3836     p.s. If you didn't get it, think about recursive data types: html(html())
3837     p.p.s. I'll turn this into a much more practical example in a day or two.
3838     p.p.p.s. It's a pity that overloads are not inherited. Is this a bug?
3839     %%
3840     From: alan@lxorguk.ukuu.org.uk (Alan Cox)
3841    
3842     ...
3843    
3844     > now is evil". This only shows two things: you never looked at the bad
3845     > experiences of the industry where following a rotten design and
3846     > keeping backward compatibility lead to unusable systems. And second:
3847    
3848     I worked for 3com. I know eveyrhting about following a rotten design until
3849     its unusable, believe me I do.
3850     %%
3851     Ok(slow) -> !NeedComputer
3852    
3853     Semour Cray
3854     %%
3855     Ullrich Jans at University of Karlsruhe, Germany:
3856    
3857     Oh Gott! Es ist voller crons!
3858     %%
3859     From: p00h <p00h@MONMOUTH.COM>
3860     Subject: Re: AOL for Windows DoS/Exploit
3861    
3862     aol supports PARTIAL html, its like win95's implementation of tcp/ip
3863     it only supports parts of it
3864     %%
3865     egcs/gcc/gcse.c:
3866     /* Help stamp out big monolithic functions! */
3867     %%
3868     [...] Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Especially regarding HPPA assembler syntax
3869     as provided by HP, which was designed by someone who should not have been
3870     let near a language-design project like that, too often "little languages",
3871     whether assemblers, tools, or C++, are designed by people who are unaware
3872     of, or give little thought to, the outright readability of code written in
3873     the language, in the sense that the basic semantics should be fairly obvious
3874     *without* the reader having to memorize lots of semantic information.
3875    
3876     (In HPPA assembler's case, one glaring stupidity was the nullified branches,
3877     which have completely different semantics depending on whether the label
3878     being branched to happens to assemble to a negative or positive offset! A
3879     smarter design would have required the programmer to specify whether such a
3880     branch was a "forward" or "backward" branch explicitly, then the assembler
3881     and/or linker would complain if reality didn't match the programmer's
3882     specification. I've never looked into whether GNU's HPPA as fixes this
3883     botch; I gather GNU as fixes many botches, though, so it wouldn't surprise
3884     me if it did, even though that might make for some compatibility problems
3885     with existing HP as code.) [...]
3886    
3887     tq vm, (burley)
3888     %%
3889     libc/posix/regex.h:
3890     /* The following two types have to be signed and unsigned integer type
3891     wide enough to hold a value of a pointer. For most ANSI compilers
3892     ptrdiff_t and size_t should be likely OK. Still size of these two
3893     types is 2 for Microsoft C. Ugh... */
3894     typedef long int s_reg_t;
3895     typedef unsigned long int active_reg_t;
3896     %%
3897     libc/db2/db.h:
3898     /*
3899     * While Microsoft's compiler is ANSI C compliant, it doesn't have _STDC_
3900     * defined by default, you specify a command line flag or #pragma to turn
3901     * it on. Don't do that, however, because some of Microsoft's own header
3902     * files won't compile.
3903     */
3904     %%
3905     > UTC variation and begining and ending dates of DST (if observed) would be
3906     > great.
3907    
3908     I answered only the places I can comment on.
3909    
3910     > BASSAS DA INDIA
3911    
3912     This rock is below water half of the time!
3913     If any inhabitants have been there, I do not think they observe DST
3914     on a regular basis! ;-)
3915     %%
3916     # ./test-plugin.pl
3917     Bizarre copy of CODE in sassign at /root/.gimp/plug-ins/test-plugin.pl line 40.
3918     wire_read: unexpected EOF (plug-in crashed?)
3919     %%
3920     >
3921     > The "where do you want to go today?" generation has taken the
3922     > developer out of the "programmer" by removing the vital, development
3923     > tools from the environment and precanning software.
3924    
3925     No kidding. Point. Click. Point. Click. Point. Click. Brain Atrophy.
3926     %%
3927     Lars Chr Hausmann <36haus@but.auc.dk> writes:
3928    
3929     >Hello!
3930    
3931     >I have to write something about, what Perl is.
3932     >I need some crystal clear info about, what perl is. So if any of you
3933     >would be so kind just to mail. Then I would be grateful!
3934    
3935    
3936     Perl.
3937    
3938     regards
3939     jobst
3940     %%
3941     Subject: Re: Cyrix 6x86MX and Centaur C6 CPUs in 2.1.102
3942     From: alan@lxorguk.ukuu.org.uk (Alan Cox)
3943     Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 22:31:02 +0100 (BST)
3944    
3945     > Well, that depends. They SHOULD be. By Intel 'standards' *laff*, they have
3946     > to be identical stepping, indicating identical features. However, I've
3947    
3948     They don't. Pentiums have fairly strict rules, P6/PII much less. Also Intel
3949     are pretty good at following the MP 1.1/1.4 standard its the motherboard
3950     makers who get it wrong - primarily the BIOS is full of bugs. It appears
3951     nobody tests bios code against specs any more. It looks like they do
3952     compile flash, boot 95, boot NT, ship. The quality of bios code has dived to
3953     the absolute pits.
3954     %%
3955     Unix never says `Please.' -- Rob Pike
3956     %%
3957     > What about: . scriptname
3958     > ------------------^ this is a dot!
3959    
3960     Funny, it looks like a "p" to me.
3961     %%
3962     A computer without Microsoft and IBM is like chocolate cake without
3963     ketchup and mustard
3964     %%
3965     Subject: Re: Challange for perl `GURUS
3966    
3967     vimal gajjar wrote:
3968     >
3969     > Hi there,
3970     > Here is a small challange. Is it possible to have a perl
3971     > code which takes e.g. three parameters as input. time, val1, val2. and
3972     > the name of the prog. is say challange.pl. Now if i execute
3973     > "challange.pl 10 5 2" this perl script wille consume
3974     > 5% of cpu
3975     > 2 Mb of RAM
3976     > for the period of 10 Seconds.
3977     >
3978     > can one of the gurus take this challange?
3979    
3980     Examining the 5 copies of this post has consumed 5% of the
3981     brain power I allocate to reviewing c.l.p.m, about 10 seconds, and
3982     has caused the death of 2 million brain cells.
3983     %%
3984     > >> /A:You can usually write the program faster than you can
3985     > >> dial/dl/hangup/install/read docs/fix it/fix the fix/.
3986     >
3987     > >s/usually/never/
3988     >
3989     > s/sometimes/never/
3990    
3991     Cute. You embarrass yourself by your ignorance of perl.
3992     %%
3993     :That's probably true, but I really can't speak to it. But, if there
3994     :were no *nix around, there'd be no Perl. Nor would there be a need for
3995     :Perl, IMO.
3996    
3997     Gotta love them JCL and ini dot bat dot bad dot doo dah files.
3998    
3999     TC
4000     %%
4001     'cc:Mail is a wonderful application, as long as you don't want to read or send mail.'
4002     %%
4003     shurik@iron.Te.NeT.UA - Alexandr Dubovikov at TeNeT Networking Centre
4004    
4005     Hi guys!
4006    
4007     How check socket, alive it or die ?
4008     %%
4009     --> Questions not to ask on linux-kernel <--
4010    
4011     Miscellaneous flame-wars:
4012     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4013     12) The gnome-kde debate does not belong on linux-kernel.
4014     13) The emacs-vi debate does not belong on linux-kernel.
4015     14) Porting linux to run under windows is not interesting.
4016     15) Whether a given intel CISC chip "is really RISC" is not interesting.
4017     %%
4018     Subject: what a week!
4019     From: "C. Scott Ananian" <cananian@lcs.mit.edu>
4020     Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 03:13:23 -0400 (EDT)
4021    
4022     unicode, boot-logos, GGI, STREAMS, the necessity of a short devel cycle
4023     and the instability of 2.0.x, "ifconfig stopped working", "you really *do*
4024     need to remove 'encaps'", Linus' tarball practices... it seems like we're
4025     running out of things to flame off on. Here's my humble contribution:
4026    
4027     I'VE MADE A KEWL NEW CHARSET THAT I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD USE. IT HAS ALL
4028     THE LETTERS IN MY LOGIN MAPPED TO THE LOWEST 16 CHARACTERS SO WE CAN
4029     COMPRESS THINGS REAL GOOD AND THE LETTERS IN MY BROTHER B1FF'S NAME ARE
4030     ALL IN HIGH ASCII CUZ THAT'S WHERE LOSERS BELONG!!!2!!7
4031    
4032     I ONLY USE EMACS AND I THINK VI SUX!!$231!!
4033    
4034     GNOME RULES AND KDE IS DEMON-SPAWN BECAUSE IT IS NOT FREE.! !
4035    
4036     WE NEED KGI IN THE KERNEL (NOT LIBGGI, NOT THE TERMINAL IMPROVEMENTS
4037     WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED) IN ORDER TO HAVE WAY KEWL BOOT LOGOS AND RUN MY
4038     BROTHER B1FF'S GAMES!!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!11!!!
4039    
4040     I USE A BIG-ENDIAN MACHINE BECAUSE THEY RULE. LITTLE-ENDIAN MACHINES ARE
4041     EVIL. AND A PENTIUM *IS* A RISC PROCESSOR!!!
4042    
4043     WE SHOULD PORT LINUX TO WINDOWS SO WE CAN USE ALL THE KEWL HARDWARE
4044     DRIVERS!!!!!@@#!
4045    
4046     Did I miss any? ;-)
4047    
4048     *Please* don't respond seriously to this email. It's a joke. A joke.
4049     Laugh. Please.
4050    
4051     And then let's kill all the flaming threads, shall we?
4052     --Scott
4053     %%
4054     > Well, /proc/kcore already reports its actual size...
4055    
4056     And it isn't about to change at runtime either. That is the size of
4057     installed memory. I've yet to see a single person successfully insert or
4058     remove a SIMM/DIMM while a machine was running. If they did, and it was
4059     successful, the linux code will update the filesize. ;o)
4060     %%
4061     Toby Heywood (toby@he-net.demon.co.uk) wrote:
4062     : This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
4063    
4064     One of those 'M's stands for Mail.
4065    
4066     This is not mail.
4067    
4068     This is Usenet.
4069    
4070     Please post only plain text like everyone else does.
4071     %%
4072     ------------ etienne.lorrain@ibm.net
4073     --- hdc: irq timeout: status=0xd0 { Busy }
4074     --- ide1: reset: success
4075     -----------> I like Linux !
4076     %%
4077     > I have experienced people walking up to my console and saying "What
4078     > the hell does that mean" in sheer terror as the machine boots.
4079    
4080     Tell them it's magic, and earn the respect of your colleagues. I always
4081     do.
4082     %%
4083     ++ Actually, I'm not at a loss for words. Here's one that's very appropriate:
4084     ++ PLONK.
4085     %%
4086     ++ > SSI is *not* HTML.
4087     Re: Subraumfunk
4088    
4089     Ja, ein Handy waere da praktisch. Die hoeheren Gebuehren rechnen sich,
4090     wenn man ueber die Grenzen des Sonnensystems hinaus telefonieren will.
4091    
4092     Die Telekom wuerde da wieder mal erbarmungslos abzocken. Ich kann es
4093     mir schon vorstellen: SunSystem-Tarif, vielleicht auch einen
4094     InnerPlanets-Sondertarif, dann einen LocalGroupWeekend-Specialtarif,
4095     eine Supercluster-Zone und so weiter. Und wenn es auf der Venus
4096     schneit, telefonieren alle fuer die Haelfte.
4097     %%
4098     > > Vergiss es. Du wirst nie und nimmer von Armando eine
4099     > > konkrete, verwertbare Antwort bekommen.
4100     >
4101     > Doch, man bekommt von mir sogar sehr viele Antworten.
4102    
4103     Du hast gerade zwei Adjektive weggelassen.
4104     %%
4105     ++ Oh yeah. Show me an example of SSI used outside of HTML.
4106     Show me an HTML DTD mentioning SSI directives.
4107     %%
4108     Namsuk Kim wrote:
4109     > Is there a way to convert a scalar data to Acii data format?
4110    
4111     I am not familar with ACII. If you mean ASCII, then the question I have is
4112     - is the data in EBCDIC now?
4113    
4114     Bill Jones
4115     %%
4116     GNU/getopt.c:
4117    
4118     #if defined (WIN32) && !defined (__CYGWIN32__)
4119     /* It's not Unix, really. See? Capital letters. */
4120     #include <windows.h>
4121     #define getpid() GetCurrentProcessId()
4122     #endif
4123     %%
4124     Subject: IIS 4.0, PW32i316, CGI Programs
4125    
4126     Perlis.dll does not pass command line arguments correctly via the web. That
4127     is, invoking the URL
4128    
4129     http://www.myserver.com/myprogram.pl?Argument1&Argument2...&Argumentn
4130    
4131     causes the myprogram.pl to execute, but @ARGV is empty.
4132     %%
4133     "You need to use CGI."
4134     "I am using CGI, it's a CGI application!"
4135     "No, no, *use* CGI. The directive 'use'."
4136     "OK, so what directive do I use?"
4137     "No, no, you *use* *use*. Use CGI."
4138     "I *am* using CGI!"
4139    
4140     Craig Berry - cberry@cinenet.net
4141     %%
4142     > > Was haltet Ihr von Killfile-mailing-lists, dass sich die Leute mal
4143     > > kennenlernen koennen?
4144     >
4145     > Gute Idee ;-), wäre ich sofort dabei, datrifft man wahrscheinlich ne
4146     > Menge tolle Leute... ;-) und die wahren Freidenker.
4147    
4148     Einige Freidenker sicher, aber auch etliche Denkfreie.
4149     %%
4150     "I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big or
4151     professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." -- Linus Torvalds 1991
4152     %%
4153     If it's a floppy, it might be a copy.
4154     If it's a disk, you're also at risk.
4155     If it's a pirate, the vendors are irate.
4156     To avoid such frustration, try: Free Software Foundation.
4157     %%
4158     From: David Woodhouse <Dave@imladris.demon.co.uk>
4159    
4160     pcg@goof.com said:
4161     > It was much more than I usally get! It was _great_
4162    
4163     Hehe - I know the feeling.
4164    
4165     "It's broken."
4166     "What's wrong with it?."
4167     "I don't know - it just doesn't work."
4168     "Well what do you mean by 'it's broken'?"
4169     "It just doesn't work."
4170     "How can you _tell_ it's broken, for f***'s sake - what are the symptoms!?"
4171     "It gives an error message."
4172     "Would you care to tell me what it says?"
4173     "It says.... something about there being an error."
4174     "That's not very helpful. Tell me it word for word."
4175     "It says 'Unable to handle kernel NULL reference at something or other'"
4176     "That's not word for word. It said 'NULL pointer dereference.' Try again,
4177     letter for letter this time."
4178     %%
4179     From: "Paul B. Henson" <henson@INTRANET.CSUPOMONA.EDU>
4180    
4181     After installing Solaris 2.6 HW3/98, I discovered that /usr/bin/admintool
4182     had been installed mode 0777, world writable. Under the original release of
4183     2.6, the mode was 04555.
4184    
4185     Sun has been notified of the problem. If you're running 2.6 HW3/98, you
4186     might want to verify your admintool hasn't been tampered with and fix the
4187     perms.
4188    
4189     (Personally, I'd set them to 0000 ;). admintool? blech.)
4190     %%
4191     From: verah@netscape.com (Vera Horiuchi)
4192     Subject: Re: Risp: drama (Re: Do It Yourself)
4193    
4194     Americans ignorant of the rest of the world?
4195    
4196     I must tell a favorite story here. A friend and I were purchasing a gift
4197     for another friend who lives in Canada. I was speculating out loud about
4198     how much duty our Canadian friend would have to pay.
4199    
4200     The cashier said, "Oh, I'm sure Canadians don't have to pay any duty. We
4201     ship to Hawaii all the time, and _they_ don't have to pay duty." =:-0
4202     %%
4203     >am besten ist z.Z. das Buch von Michael Neufeld. Wer aber Wissenslücken
4204     >verspürt (was keine Schande ist), sollte diese zu stopfen suchen und nicht
4205     >Zuflucht zu absolut hirnrissigen Theorien suchen.
4206    
4207     Hirnrissig bist Du. Das es einen Zeittransfer aus der Zukunft zu den Nazis
4208     gab deckt sich mit dazu passenden Entschluesselungen bestimmter Bibelstellen
4209     und mit der dann tatsaechlichen notwendigen Geheimhaltung. Es deckt sich
4210     ueberdies damit, dass die Unterhaltung uns den Gedanken zunehmend nahelegt,
4211     also vorbereitet, und dass es bereits ein wissenschaftliches Experiment gab,
4212     bei dem ERST die Wirkung auftrat und DANN die Ursache. Die Zeitreise ist
4213     also Fakt. Und es ist sicher, dass Jemand per Zeitreise den Nazis helfen
4214     wollte. Gelegentliche Theorien, dass auch diese ausserirdische Hilfe gehabt
4215     haetten sollen nur davon ablenken, eine andere Erklaerung liefern. Das ist
4216     logisch, denn die Taeter sitzen ja irgendwo in unserer Zeit und moechten
4217     sicher nicht erkannt werden.
4218    
4219     Du scheinst die simpelsten Grundzuege der Zeitlogik nicht verstehen zu wollen.
4220    
4221     normarz@aol.com
4222     %%
4223     >Oder anders gesagt:
4224     >Glaubst Du, Du könntest mit einem hochmodernen Maschinengewehr eine römische
4225     >Legion
4226     >schlagen?
4227    
4228     Klar. Frage mal Cortez.
4229    
4230     Bye
4231     Andreas
4232     %%
4233     >Article 2B is a threat to anyone who uses a computer. I just wanted to
4234    
4235     It may be a threat to any american using a computer. Fortunately, the U.S.
4236     justice does not yet apply outside the U.S.A.
4237    
4238     I.a.W.: You're currently creating a lot of happy non-U.S. software
4239     companies.
4240    
4241     Kind regards
4242     Henning
4243     %%
4244     From: "Adam J. Richter" <adam@yggdrasil.com>
4245     Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 04:14:11 -0700
4246     Subject: Re: driver for Creative Labs DVD kits
4247    
4248     At least with the IDE DVD drive that I have, plugging it directly
4249     into an IDE port and using the regular Linux ide-cd driver works just fine
4250     for reading [...] CD and the [not] copy protected sections of the DVD's.
4251    
4252     There is a protocol that the hardware decoder boards use to
4253     tell the DVD drive that they are a licensed implementation and should
4254     be allowed to read the copy protected sectors as well. I have been
4255     told that this protocol can be done entirely in software with a
4256     standard IDE port. Hopefully, somebody will reverse engineer this and
4257     make it a demand loaded kernel module. (Seriously, there is a lot
4258     that you are allowed to do with copyrighted material that this sort of
4259     hardware restriction prevents, and there are other important political
4260     issues involved relating to your rights to do as you please with the
4261     computer equipment that you bought and paid for.)
4262     %%
4263     Where do you want to go today?
4264     We might support that sometime next year.
4265     -=- Microsoft
4266     (But I doubt it.)
4267     -=- Me
4268     -=- James Mastros
4269     %%
4270     Hello570 <hello570@aol.com> wrote:
4271     > I tried printing a line to a file using both of the
4272     > following methods, but the output was split into two
4273     >lines.
4274    
4275     If you don't want newlines in the middle of your string, then don't
4276     put newlines in the middle of your string.
4277     %%
4278     http://www.perl.com/CPAN/authors/Dean_Roehrich/subjects.post
4279     %%
4280     Einstein himself said that God doesn't roll dice. But he was wrong. And
4281     in fact, anyone who has played role-playing games knows that God
4282     probably had to roll quite a few dice to come up with a character like
4283     Einstein. -- Larry Wall
4284     %%
4285     From: Ragnar Hojland Espinosa <root@lightside.ddns.org>
4286    
4287     My $0.02 Euros on internationalization? I'm in Spain and my keyboard is
4288     mosty US mapped because the Spanish map is really awkward for programming.
4289     Computers were designed to be funcional, not politically (or locally)
4290     correct (hm, I don't think HAL ever spoke Russian). This "computers are easy
4291     for all" GUI related trend has done a lot of money, and lot of damage; at
4292     least command line OSes forced the user to actually learn something and
4293     absorb information. The user assumed so, so he did. Now he doesn't, and
4294     it's not all his fault.
4295    
4296     The WWW is full of useless (and ugly) graphics, of useless links to links to
4297     pages with links to links which usually end up in a huge links page. Of
4298     course, there are some jewels.. but they should be majority! It's
4299     understandable, when the tools and languages focus more on aspect that in
4300     content.
4301    
4302     Usenet is worse than ever, the interesting places have been ruined by
4303     spammers, c00l hak3rz, and more and more people asking (or demanding) for
4304     others doing their homework.. at least some time ago they were willing to
4305     learn (or pay for it;)
4306    
4307     IRC.. heh. The few times I've been on funet almost all I found is the same
4308     people in the above paragraph. And I do know some of them even run scripts
4309     to try denial of service or other destructive attacks on people they see,
4310     just for fun or to get the op.
4311    
4312     Email. Someone selling an "incredible program that allows you to bypass
4313     your ISP mail server, for only $89" (thats right, a smtp server). No OS
4314     mentioned, I somehow can guess which. And that stupid thing of sending
4315     mail to people in RTF and HTML format.. I'm gonna answer them in LaTeX.
4316    
4317     Internet, your ilimited junk yard.
4318    
4319     Using computers would make me real sad if it wasn't for UNIX and, of
4320     course, Linux and Linux people.
4321     %%
4322     ... WNT == ++VMS . Literally. Dave Cutler created VMS,
4323     then he rewrote it as WNT.
4324    
4325     Ever used VMS? It's a step above DOS. Barely.
4326     --
4327     Clark O. Morgan cmorgan@aracnet.com
4328     %%
4329     >Subject: If "=~" means match what is doesn't match?
4330    
4331     I heard that a friend of a friend might have once been told about a
4332     rumor that this information can be found in perlop, right next to
4333     where =~ is documented. (It's !~)
4334    
4335     I agree with Tom's assessment that the fall of modern man will be
4336     preceded by the de-evolution of communications to the days of oral
4337     tradition.
4338     %%
4339     "Windows 95, the most installed system in the world,
4340     I know, I've done it 5 or 6 times myself"
4341     %%
4342     The statistics programming language S, from AT&T, combines lazy
4343     evaluation with imperative programming. A nightmare.
4344     %%
4345     "In 1965, as part of a research and development project for the
4346     U.S. Army, engineers at TRW Corp developed a software program
4347     called Generalized Information Retrieval Lanaguage and System."
4348     Or GIRLS for short.
4349     %%
4350     Wissen bremst die Meinungsbildung voll aus.
4351     %%
4352     I have an idea: Anybody who posts an URGENT! or EMERGENCY! request should
4353     post the circumstances behind the urgency. "I was having sex with my
4354     mistress in the server room and I knocked the Linux box over and the hard
4355     drive crashed and so I've reinstalled everything but I still can't get
4356     5_004_03 to build!"
4357    
4358     This would inspire me to action far more than the implied subtext of "I
4359     have no patience."
4360    
4361     xoxo,
4362     Andy
4363     %%
4364     > I have Perl5 running on my pc.
4365     > and also front page98 and microsoft personal web server runnig.
4366     We all have our cross to bear.
4367     %%
4368     (THIS IS LONG, YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP)
4369    
4370     From: mjd@plover.com (Mark-Jason Dominus)
4371     Date: 09 Nov 1995 02:57:30 GMT
4372     Subject: Re: system() question
4373    
4374     There are a lot of reasons, many of which get repeated over and
4375     over again, many of which don't. Some of the reasons you hear a lot
4376     are: Questions are incoherently phrased. Questions have the form 'My
4377     code doesn't work' and don't include the code. Questions include the
4378     code, and it's 200 lines long, and comp.lang.perl is not a debugging
4379     service. Nobody knows the answer to the question. The question is so
4380     badly punctuated that nobody can bear to read it. Questions aer
4381     written by a non-native speaker of English and the native speakers who
4382     are trying to understand it can't. (That's a shame, but it does
4383     happen. I often wish that these people would post in their native
4384     languages. I'd love to see more discussion in languages other than
4385     English. Some Dutch guy tried posting all his comp.lang.c articles in
4386     Dutch a few years ago, and all the Americans flamed him. How
4387     humiliating for me!)
4388    
4389     Apart from these oft-mentioned reasons are many others that are
4390     not so often discussed, because anyone who tries to bring them up gets
4391     flamed. But it's the truth: I know the reason I don't answer more
4392     questions is because so many of them questions are so damn stupid.
4393     They're stupid in a lot of different ways, but they're still stupid.
4394     I don't want to suggest that that's why your questions go unanswered.
4395     I don't know what you're asking. No doubt the reason your questions
4396     go unanswered is because they're so deep and interesting that nobody
4397     really knows the answer.
4398    
4399     The most common stupid question is the one from someone who has
4400     some high-level problem that they need solved. They have an idea that
4401     they'd like to do it in perl, and they don't really know perl. So
4402     instead of learning perl, they post to comp.lang.perl.misc.
4403    
4404     Now don't get me wrong. I don't have any problems answering the
4405     questions of someone who's trying to learn perl. I love THOSE
4406     qusetions. But these people don't seem to be asking useful questions
4407     for that.
4408    
4409     Today, for example, I saw a question from a guy who wants to get a
4410     list of hostnames out of nslookup. `How do I do that?' he says. And
4411     it's hard to know what to make of that. What does he mean? Does he
4412     not know how to open a pipe? Is his en' command failing? What's
4413     going on here? I can't give a useful answer without understanding the
4414     problem. Having your en' fail is a problem. Wanting to list
4415     hostnames is not a problem; it's a desire.
4416    
4417     Here are some similar questions that would have made more sense to me:
4418    
4419     1. `I'm a lazy asshole and I can't be bothered to learn to
4420     program myself, but I know if I post here you'll give me
4421     something for free.''
4422    
4423     (OK, fair enough. At least I can send him a rate card.)
4424    
4425     2. `I'm trying to use en' to talk to nslookup, but...
4426     ...here's my code; what's wrong?''
4427    
4428     (Good question.)
4429    
4430     3. `I know perl has a `System' command for running programs,
4431     but I can't see how to get my commands into nslookup
4432     once I have run it.''
4433     (Good question.)
4434    
4435     4. `I'm trying to use `Getprotobynumber' to talk to nslookup...''
4436    
4437     (Good question.)
4438    
4439     See, I'm not just biting people's heads off, here. #4 is a good
4440     question, because it gives me something to work with. OK, he has a
4441     very weird idea about interprocess communication, but that's
4442     ignorance, and that's what we're here to correct. He doesn't know
4443     about en'; I can refer him to the manual.
4444    
4445     Here's another example: Some guy wants to assemble a list of email
4446     addresses . `How do I do that?'' he wants to know. Well, duh. Get a
4447     big pad of paper and read news for a couple days and write down all
4448     the addresses you see. Problem solved. What's it doing in
4449     comp.lang.perl?
4450     Oh, you wanted to do it in perl. Well, I guess I'd open a socket
4451     to the NNTP server and send it some XHDR commands for the `From'
4452     lines. But that's not Perl; you could do that in any language. I
4453     could do it in Bourne Shell for you if I'm allowed to use a little
4454     external thingie to handle the socket parts for me. What's it doing
4455     in comp.lang.perl?
4456    
4457     Oh, you wanted us to write the program for you? Wait, let me send
4458     you my rate card.
4459    
4460     Someone posted yesterday asking how to get the data from a file where
4461     the start and end of the data is marked by keywords. Same thing going on
4462     here. `Well, here's how you solve your problem: First you go take an
4463     introductory class in programming and learn to write programs in some
4464     language. Then you go to the bookstore and buy this book by Wall and
4465     Schwartz, it's really good. Read the book carefully and try out the
4466     examples. Then if you still have general questions like `How do I do this'
4467     instead of thought that this code would do X but instead it does Y' you hire
4468     a professional to write your program for you. Or you could just skip right
4469     to step 3. Want my rate card?''
4470    
4471     The worst stupid questions are the ones that come from people who
4472     have no business asking them. The most perfect example of this that I
4473     could have imagined was in comp.unix.questions a couple of years ago.
4474     Some guy came and asked how you could tell if a file is a hard link.
4475     My jaw flapped open and it's stayed open since then. I couldn't have
4476     been any more stumped if he'd asked why Bodhidharma came from the
4477     West. What do you say to this guy? Do you tell him the truth, that
4478     all files are hard links, that even symbolic links are hard links?
4479     He's not going to understand you; you might as well keep your mouth
4480     shut. Do you tell him the truth, that the answer won't do him any
4481     good because he doesn't know what a hard link is, so why did he bother
4482     asking in the first place? No, that'll just make him mad. I followed
4483     that message for the next couple weeks, and nobody said anything.
4484     What could you say? The guy had no business asking the question and
4485     no use for the answer. Maybe the right answer would have been to cut
4486     off his finger or something. I dunno.
4487    
4488     Some questions get ignored because they're boring. Someone asked
4489     today how to compare two variables (I assumme he means the contents of
4490     those variables) to see if they're exactly the same. You've gotta be
4491     in an awfully good mood to take the time to answer that. Maybe
4492     someone will. Maybe I will.
4493    
4494     If I answer that one today, maybe he'll be back tomorrow asking
4495     how to check to see if two variables contain different values. Maybe
4496     I won't. What I find incredible is that if you tell these people to
4497     go read the manual and come back in two weeks, you sometimes get
4498     jumped on for not being helpful to beginners. Bah. If everyone told
4499     these people to go read the manual, they'd eventually figure out that
4500     that's what you have to do ,and then I wouldn't have to spend so much
4501     of my life dealing with incompetent programmers.
4502    
4503     Some questions are logically nonsensical because the querent
4504     thinks they know more than they do. A lot of these have the form
4505     `How do I use X to accomplish Y?'' There's nothing wrong with this,
4506     except that sometimes X is a chocolate-covered banana and Y is the
4507     integration of European currency systems. I always get stuck on
4508     these, probably because I can't get rid of the idea that the person
4509     really has a good reason for wanting to use X. I know a half-dozen
4510     easy simple ways to accomplish Y, but I can't imagine what X has to do
4511     with it. This is a problem for me in my day job, too. Clients are
4512     always saying to me `We want to use product X to do multimedia
4513     development on the world-wide web,'' and all I can think is `Well,
4514     gee, what would you want to go and do that for?'' Sometimes it turns
4515     out that they want to do it because they want to impress the
4516     manufacturers of X, and I don't work on those jobs.
4517    
4518     The flip side of this is a questions like `I want to accomplish
4519     X, but I don't want to use Y. What can I use instead?'' Which,
4520     again, is sometimes reasonable, and then sometimes X is closing a
4521     filehandle and Y is the `Close' function.
4522    
4523     The questions I like the best are the ones that go like this:
4524    
4525     `I want to accomplish X.
4526    
4527     I thought that the following code fragment would do it:
4528    
4529     ...
4530    
4531     But instead it does Y.
4532    
4533     Why is that?''
4534    
4535     This one is also pretty good:
4536    
4537     `I want to accomplish X.
4538     I thought I might be able to use facility Y.
4539    
4540     But Y doesn't seem like it's quite right,
4541     because of Z.
4542    
4543     What should I use instead of Y, or how can I overcome Z?''
4544    
4545     When I ignore these, it's usually because I don't know the answer.
4546     There were an awful lot of them today. It makes me very happy.
4547    
4548    
4549     There you go; a 160-line dissertation on why questions go unanswered.
4550     Now don't let me hear you saying nobody ever answers your questions.
4551    
4552     --
4553     Consulting Minister for Consultants, DNRC
4554     The Bill of Rights is paid in Responsibilities - Jean McGuire
4555     %%
4556     >> BTW, would it be easier to cope with international text using Python?
4557     >Sigh... you're breaking my heart. Ask Jack Jansen, he probably knows.
4558    
4559     If I were really evel, I would point out that the newest TCL (8.1) has
4560     support for international character sets and Unicode. But then, mentioning
4561     TCL in this newsfroup would be really bad. So, of course, I don't do that.
4562    
4563     Ups. I'm so sorry ... ;-)
4564    
4565     bye, Georg
4566     %%
4567     I personally do not believe in object orientation as a security model
4568     (nor as a general programming paradigm), but feel free to try to
4569     convince me.
4570    
4571     [ Or maybe I confuse you with somebody else and some other posting ]
4572    
4573     Linus
4574     %%
4575     ++ how can i strip new lines out at var.
4576     ++
4577    
4578     Removing new lines is very tricky, as the manual tells you so. Ignore the
4579     complicated things in the manual, and put in this neat little trick:
4580    
4581     $var=join+q,,,grep[[ord$[[qq$\137$]]<10 or+10<ord]]split+q,,,$var;
4582    
4583     If you're old enough not to read the manual, you won't have a problem
4584     understanding the above line.
4585    
4586     Abigail
4587     %%
4588     I fixed the problem by mounting the SCO volume on the SunOS box, and since
4589     1995 the problem has gone away together with the SCO machine.
4590     %%
4591     ++ Hi Does anybody know how to upload many graphic files at the push of a
4592     ++ button?
4593     Yes.
4594    
4595     ++ 100 pictures or so?
4596     Yes.
4597    
4598     ++ Can I do it in Perl?
4599     Yes.
4600    
4601     Your question isn't Perl specific. Please ask in the relevant
4602     newsgroup. alt.button.play
4603    
4604     Abigail
4605     %%
4606     perly gates - The way to perl; Enter hackerdom.
4607    
4608     perly Gates - Contradictio in Terminis.
4609    
4610     Martien
4611     %%
4612     Ren hat weder von Sinnhaftigkeit noch von Kausalität geschrieben, sondern
4613     nur von Logik. Logik und Kausalität sind in unserem (normalen) Denken zwar
4614     eng miteinander verknüpft, sind aber nicht dasselbe. Sinn ist hingegen noch
4615     etwas Drittes und ganz verschiedenes! "Sinn" bedeutet mindestens, daß eine
4616     Sache eine gewisse Richtung hat, wie in "Uhrzeigersinn". Meistens bedeutet
4617     Sinn aber, daß eine Sache einen bestimmten Zweck erfüllt. Auch darf man
4618     nicht "verursachen" mit "begründen" verwechseln, weil die beiden
4619     unterschiedlich sind. Die Existenz muß auch keinen Sinn haben, um eine
4620     Ursache zu haben. Das sind zwei völlig voneinander unabhängige Sachen. Die
4621     Existenz hat einen Sinn, also eine Richtung, wenn wir unserer Existenz eine
4622     Richtung geben. Dieser Sinn kann auf etwas abzielen, was außerhalb unserer
4623     selbst steht, muß aber nicht... Sie kann auch einen Sinn haben, der schon da
4624     war, bevor wir uns danach ausgerichtet haben - von all dem schreibt Ren aber
4625     nicht. ;)
4626    
4627     Worauf Ren wohl hinaus wollte, ist, daß wenn die Logik des begrenzten Raumes
4628     nicht gilt, daß dann die Logik schlechthin hinfällig wird und so jedes Sein
4629     fragwürdig wird. Das ist aber nicht der Fall, da die Logik, die er von den
4630     Grenzen des Raumes aufstellt, gar keine wirkliche Logik ist, sondern nur die
4631     Grenzen des menschlichen Verstandes zeigt. Er kann sich nicht vorstellen,
4632     daß außerhalb der Grenzen des Raumes "Nichts" ist, weil man sich als Mensch
4633     das Nichts nicht vorstellen kann.
4634    
4635     Darüber hinaus meinte er, daß die "Existenz unlogisch" würde. Dieser Satz
4636     ist vollkommen unverständlich. Denn entweder ist etwas, oder es ist nicht.
4637     Das ist auch schon die ganze Logik einer Existenz. (Aristoteles: Satz vom
4638     ausgeschlossenen Dritten) Unlogisch wäre, wenn etwas ist, das nicht ist oder
4639     wenn etwas nicht ist, das ist.
4640    
4641     Von der Unfähigkeit des Menschen, sich einen unbegrenzten aber endlichen
4642     Raum (oder wie auch immer der Weltraum nun aussieht) vorzustellen auf die
4643     "Unlogik der Existenz" zu schließen, ist aber wohl nicht ganz möglich, zumal
4644     eine Existenz nicht unlogisch sein kann. Was sollte das auch heißen? Daher
4645     ist das Problem, das Ren aufwirft, nur ein Scheinproblem. Die Existenz an
4646     sich wird nicht in Frage gestellt dadurch, daß man sich etwas - egal was -
4647     nicht vorstellen kann. Er verwechselt die Begriffe "unlogisch" und
4648     "unvorstellbar".
4649    
4650     Thomas.Decker@lrz.uni-muenchen.de
4651     %%
4652     Marcel Richter wrote:
4653     > Marcel Richter - IQ: 3538327
4654     ^^^
4655     fehlt da nicht irgendwo ein Komma.... =?-)
4656     %%
4657     The X server has to be the biggest program I've ever seen that doesn't
4658     do anything for you. --Ken Thompson
4659     %%
4660     linux-2.1.92/fs/autofs/root.c:
4661     printk("autofs: trying to recover, but prepare for Armageddon\n");
4662     %%
4663     >>Vincent DiPietro, the discoverer of the face on mars, has thrown in
4664     >>the towel, and said that the face on mars is a pile of rocks.
4665     >Was sollte es denn sonst sein?
4666    
4667     An artificial pile of rocks.
4668     %%
4669     > ps: mal nebenbei: eine unbekannte variable beim analysieren des
4670     > marsgesichtes ist es, dass mensch gar nicht weiss, wie die lebende,
4671     > gedachte oder sonstige vorlage eigentlich aussieht. dazu kommt natuerlich
4672     > noch das fehlende wissen um die intention des "kuenstlers", ob er
4673     > beispielsweise nur aspekte bzw. partien eines gesichtes integrieren wollte
4674     > - und natuerlich, ob es ueberhaupt kunst ist:)
4675    
4676     Ganz genau. Und das Matterhorn ist eine palaeoimpressionistische Studie des
4677     Geruchsorgans der Rasse der Ciabattanimalier. Aber das wussten hier
4678     sicherlich schon alle. Das ganze Universum ist ausserdem eigentlich nur ein
4679     grosser Flipperautomat.
4680    
4681     Christoph Schulte Moenting - ubec@rz.uni-karlsruhe.de
4682     %%
4683     > Kris Weilemann schrieb
4684     >
4685     > >MIR ging es neulich aehnlich. Ich wurde von Ausserirdischen entfuehrt.
4686     > >Ich wurde eingesperrt in einem dunklem Raum mit langen Sitzreihen und mit
4687     > >einer Popcorn-artigen Substanz gefuettert. Nach 2 Stunden war alles
4688     > >vorbei. Einen Tag spaeter stellte ich fest, dass mir 18 Mark im
4689     > >Geldbeutel fehlten. Ist das nicht krass? -Kris.
4690     %%
4691     ... Jazz ist nicht nur das erfolgreichste, sondern auch das einzige originäre Kunstgenre,
4692     daß die USA jemals hervorgebracht haben.
4693    
4694     "Apropos Musik", HR2 am 16.4.98
4695     %%
4696     http://www.rsw.com/
4697    
4698     The Unix shell as a 4GL
4699    
4700     Unix provides hundreds of programs that can be piped together to easily
4701     perform almost any function imaginable. Nothing comes close to providing the
4702     functions that come standard with Unix. Programs and philosophies carried
4703     over from other systems put walls between the user and Unix, and the power
4704     of Unix is thrown away. The shell, extended with a few relational operators,
4705     is the fourth generation database scripting language most appropriate to the
4706     Unix environment.
4707     %%
4708     Perl is incredibly difficult to parse. For example, what's the difference
4709     between these:
4710    
4711     time /3 ;#/; print "hello";
4712     sin /3 ;#/; print "goodbye";
4713    
4714     Right. The first one is time divided by 3, and the print is in a comment.
4715     The second one is the sin of the result of a regular expression match for "3
4716     ;#", and the print gets executed!
4717    
4718     There's no pure BNF in the world that'll handle that. And remember, with
4719     "use" and prototypes available, whether you parse something like "sin" or
4720     "time" depends on its definition in some other file, somewhere in the galaxy
4721     (or even decided by Perl code in a BEGIN block, that evals a prototype!).
4722    
4723     Which led Larry to say at one point: "the only thing that can parse Perl is
4724     'perl'".
4725    
4726     --
4727     Randal L. Schwartz
4728     %%
4729     Ronald J Kimball <rjk@coos.dartmouth.edu> writes:
4730    
4731     > Pascal AMRAM wrote:
4732     > > Subject: MSEXCHANGE / OUTLOOK
4733     >
4734     > So here I am trying to figure out what an M sex change is....
4735    
4736     It's obviously the opposite of an F sex change. HTH.
4737    
4738     --
4739     Jonathan Feinberg jdf@pobox.com Sunny Brooklyn, NY
4740     %%
4741     The management (my cats) made me say this.
4742     %%
4743     uae-0.6.9/custom.c:800:
4744     write_log ("Program is torturing BPLCON1.\n");
4745     %%
4746     uae-0.6.9/src/memory.c:363
4747     write_log ("Your Amiga program just did something terribly stupid\n");
4748     %%
4749     Closures make sense in any programming language where you
4750     can have the return value of a function be itself a
4751     function, as you can in Perl. Note that some languages
4752     provide anonymous functions but are not capable of
4753     providing proper closures; the Python language, for
4754     example.
4755     %%
4756     When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
4757     resemble a nail.
4758     %%
4759     > but all I get are 501 errors, method not supported. I am not 100% sure what
4760     > I did wrong.
4761    
4762     What you did wrong was post a microsoft server question to a perl
4763     newsgroup.
4764     %%
4765     I am trying to learn Perl on my Windows 97 system. In particular...
4766     %%
4767     >Es kamen Außerirdische, die Pyramiden bauten und andere Wunder
4768     >vollbrachten. Dafür wurden sie vergöttert. Diese außerirdischen bauten dann
4769     >wahrscheinlich auch die Cydonia Region.
4770    
4771     Etwa zehnmal zu oft 'Stargate' gesehen, was?
4772     %%
4773     >Die Menschheit kämpft seit Millionen von Jahren gegeneinander.
4774    
4775     Welche Hälfte ist denn da die grössere? :o)
4776     %%
4777     ...am still rebuilding after being hit with a clock changing virus it reset
4778     my clock to 2039 unfortunately for me my OS is beta 98 needless to say it
4779     expired instantly!!!
4780     %%
4781     From: Per Bothner <bothner@cygnus.com>
4782     To: Pal Engstad <engstad@hunt.inmet.com>
4783    
4784     > Linus Torvalds requires that all code in the source is using a tab
4785     > length of 8 spaces, and he also states that you are a bad programmer
4786     > if you write code with more than 3 indentation levels.
4787    
4788     I didn't know that Linus Torvalds has done research on programming styles.
4789     He much have, since why else would you have the audacity quote him as
4790     an authority, on a list where there are dozens of people with more
4791     than double Linus's programming experience?
4792    
4793     > This has caused the code to be fairly easy to read and maintainance is
4794     > pretty straight forward.
4795    
4796     Irrelevant - a kernel is a lot simpler than an optimizing compiler,
4797     in terms of complexity of algorithms and data structures.
4798     %%
4799     Nach der Diskussion muss ich akzeptieren, dass die juengst erfolgte
4800     Erdbeschleunigung von - 0,6 auf - 0,4 Millisekunden kein zwingender Beweis
4801     fuer einen Permanentantrieb ist. Aber: In letzter Zeit kommt es bei mir immer
4802     wieder vor, dass ich Dinge einfach weiss. Selbst wenn ich sie nicht begruenden
4803     kann. Ich weiss trotzdem dass sie stimmen muessen und der Antrieb existiert.
4804     Mit der Zeit findet sich dann auch die Begruendung.
4805     %%
4806     Wir suchen neue AussenMitarbeiterInnen... (S.Pernar@Link-Goe)
4807     %%
4808     hyperltext (hy'perl-text), n. double-quotish-interpolated hypertext markup:
4809     Example:
4810     print qq[[<LI><A HREF="$self->[[url]]">@[[[ucfirst $self->[[title]]]]]</A>\n]];
4811     %%
4812     liperlsuction: What happens to any script longer than 10 lines once
4813     Randal gets his hands on it
4814     %%
4815     Uperl Volta - country where perl programmers control the electricity.
4816     %%
4817     > Anybody successfully installed the win32 version of Perl?
4818    
4819     No! Millions of people don't use perl on win32 machines. You may be the
4820     first if you get it working.
4821     %%
4822     > Macintosh.
4823     > Think different.
4824    
4825     Think Again.
4826     %%
4827     Bill.Cilnton@dyselxia.com
4828     %%
4829     tsatan@hotmail.com writes:
4830     > Why does perl have the "push" and "unshift" functions? ...
4831     > push @nums, 4; is the same as @nums = (@nums, 4);
4832    
4833     What do you want, Scheme? ;)
4834     %%
4835     # There is this special biologist word we use for 'stable'.
4836     # It is 'dead'. -- Jack Cohen
4837     %%
4838     | I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
4839     | someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the
4840     | top.
4841     %%
4842     I had a student ask about the UN9 operating system. I didn't understabd what
4843     he was talking about so he wrote UNIX on the board.
4844     %%
4845     On 1 Apr 98 17:34:23 GMT, Schulung7 wrote:
4846     ^^^^^^^^^
4847     >Was haltet ihr vom UFO-Absturz in Rosswell?
4848    
4849     Nichts. Und jetzt geh woanders spielen.
4850     %%
4851     >Kann man hier irgendwie mal die UFOs reinbringen, um die es in dieser NG
4852     >gehen soll?
4853    
4854     Nein, der Datentyp wäre inkompatibel. UFOs sind per Definitionem
4855     materielle Objekte (obwohl das zur Zeit fraglich ist ;-), die sich in
4856     diesem Medium nicht austauschen lassen.
4857     %%
4858     Wer redet hier denn von der "Hui Hui"? Ich sprach von "Hui! Hui!".
4859     %%
4860     >> nein...ist kein Sender. Eine taiwanesische Sekte hat behauptet, daß am
4861     >> 25.3. auf allen TVs der Welt Gott auf Kanal 18 erscheinen würde.
4862     >> Ist natuerlich nicht eingetreten.
4863     >
4864     >Aber unsere Haus-Sat-Anlage geht seither nicht mehr.
4865    
4866     Ein Zeichen! Er hat uns ein Zeichen gegeben! Zieht alle euren linken
4867     Schuh aus!
4868     %%
4869     >Klingt nach Erdstillstand.
4870    
4871     Ich bin entsetzt. Man hat hoffentlich sofort Wiederbedrehungsmaßnahmen
4872     eingeleitet?
4873     %%
4874     Mars Global Surveyor Imaging Schedule
4875    
4876    
4877     First opportunity
4878     Approximate
4879     Orbit Internet
4880     Date Time (UTC/Pacific) Number Target Posting
4881    
4882     4-3-98 09:58/1:58 a.m. 216 Viking Lander 1 April 6
4883     4-3-98 21:37/1:37 p.m. 217 Viking Lander 2 April 7
4884     4-4-98 09:16/1:16 a.m. 218 Mars Pathfinder April 7
4885     4-5-98 08:33/12:33 a.m. 220 Cydonia April 6 (mid-a.m.)
4886    
4887     Second opportunity
4888     Approximate
4889     Orbit Internet
4890     Date Time (UTC/Pacific) Number Target Posting
4891    
4892     4-12-98 15:23/ 8:23 a.m. 235 Viking Lander 1 April 14
4893     4-13-98 03:01/ 8:01 p.m. 236 Viking Lander 2 April 15
4894     4-13-98 14:40/ 7:40 a.m. 237 Mars Pathfinder April 15
4895     4-14-98 13:57/ 6:57 a.m. 239 Cydonia April 14 (mid-p.m.)
4896    
4897     Third opportunity
4898     Approximate
4899     Orbit Internet
4900     Date Time (UTC/Pacific) Number Target Posting
4901    
4902     4-21-98 20:45/1:45 p.m. 254 Viking Lander 1 April 23
4903     4-22-98 08:23/1:23 a.m. 255 Viking Lander 2 April 24
4904     4-22-98 20:02/1:02 p.m. 256 Mars Pathfinder April 24
4905     4-23-98 19:18/12:18 p.m. 258 Cydonia April 24 (mid-a.m.)
4906    
4907     %%
4908     > >2. Der Menschheit ist durch Inzucht entstanden. Laut biologischem
4909     > >Wissen, unwahrscheinlich, da Mutation und Mißbildungen auftreten
4910     > >würden.
4911     >
4912     > Vermutung: Das ist auch aufgetreten. Siehe levitische "Gesetze" zur
4913     > "Behandlung" von "Aussatz" insb. im 3. "Mose". Die hatten schon Probleme.
4914     Sag mal, bei Dir piepts wohl nicht mehr richtig! Aussatz, heute besser
4915     unter dem Namen Lepra bekannt, ist keine Erbkrankheit. Es ist eine
4916     (heute heilbare) Infektionskrankheit, verursacht durch Bakterien.
4917     Also nichts von Inzucht, wie Du das in Deinem latenten Rassenwahn
4918     implizierst.
4919     %%
4920     > You might please start up with reading more than one sentence - a skill
4921     > quite familiar in Europe, but as it seems not in the USA.
4922     %%
4923     Yup. Instead of crashing Xservers, now you have crashing kernels.
4924     Big improvement.
4925     %%
4926     -- "Hey look, this new card is for windows and only $xx!"
4927     -- "Yes, but it's braindead and will hurt your performance. Take that one
4928     over there. Besides, it's not an ope.."
4929     -- "Why that one?"
4930     -- "Because it's better, sinc.."
4931     -- "But I can do the same with this one, it's cheaper, and its for windows!"
4932     %%
4933     In der Klinik, in der ich mal arbeiten musste, hatten wir einen echten
4934     Koenig Ludwig II und mindestens fuenf Stueck Jesus - sowas gibts halt,
4935     wenn Du verstehst, was ich meine.
4936     %%
4937     > Hast Du mal einen Stein beobachtet, der eine Unzahl komplexer
4938     > Vorgaenge paresentiert, einschliesslich der Hervorbringung
4939     > etlicher Lebensformen?
4940    
4941     Jepp. Ist nur ein Problem mit der Definition von "zahlreich".
4942    
4943     > Hast Du mal einen Steinen beobachtet, der sich mal eben
4944     > "verwandelt", und auf dem dann lauter Wesen rumkrabbeln,
4945     > die aus ihm selbst entsprungen sind?
4946    
4947     Klar doch. Ist nur ein Problem mit der Definition von "lauter".
4948    
4949     > Ueberspitzt: Hast Du mal einen Steinen beobachtet, der
4950     > ploetzlich zum Lebewesen wird und Dich fragt, wer oder was
4951     > er eigentlich ist?
4952    
4953     Tja, da hören die Übereinstimmungen auf. Ich dachte Du meinst
4954     Erwin Stein. Den kenne ich. Der hat zwei Kinder. Die krabbeln
4955     ab und zu auf ihm herum. Der ist aber nicht plötzlich zum Le-
4956     bewesen geworden, sondern den gibt es nun schon ein wenig
4957     länger. Und er hat mich auch noch nie gefragt, wer oder was
4958     er eigentlich ist. Zumindest nicht in einem Zustand, den man
4959     als "normal" bezeichnen könnte. So wird das anscheinend nix.
4960     Ciao
4961     Stefan
4962     %%
4963     "These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format. After
4964     unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor, including
4965     all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer."
4966     (http://www.microsoft.com/hwdev/pc99.htm)
4967     %%
4968     Video cards have write-only registers. (of course that is bad design) Let's
4969     say that register 13 is write-only, as is common. It holds an index that
4970     determines what register 69 (also write-only) actually changes. If you write
4971     to register 13 while the accelerator is active, you lock the PCI bus. You
4972     can't determine if the accelerator is active without reading from register
4973     42, but you can't interpret the contents of that register correctly without
4974     knowing what the last accelerator command was. Reading from register 13 gets
4975     you some useless (unrelated) info and _also_ toggles the accelerator on and
4976     off.
4977     %%
4978     Join the Army,
4979     Meet interesting people,
4980     Kill them.
4981     %%
4982     > Wie entsteht Materie? Ich koennte mir vorstellen, dass Energie in Materie
4983     > umwandelbar ist.
4984    
4985     E=m*c^2 (Schon mal gehoert?) (Schon mal verstanden??)
4986     %%
4987     >nach der die Pygmäen geheime UFO-Basen in ausgehöhlten Baumstämmen
4988     >unterhalten (Vorsicht: das war ein Witz :-) ).
4989     %%
4990     > (Bernhard Nahrgang) wrote:
4991     >
4992     > >> Logische Annahme: Die Erde waechst entweder kontinuierlich, oder periodisch
4993     > >> ruckartig.
4994     > >wie kann jemand mit dem IQ von 130 nur SO SELTEN BLOEDE sein??
4995     >
4996     > Norbert ist nicht selten blöde...
4997    
4998     :-)
4999     %%
5000     SAT 1 Teletext: Ein Asteroid mit einem Durchmesser von fast einem Kilometer
5001     rast mit großer Geschwindigkeit auf die Erde zu. US-Astronomen befürchten:
5002     "XF11" könnte im Jahr 2028 auf der Erde einschlagen. Die Folgen wären
5003     verheerend. "Der rasende Stein aus dem All ist eine Gefahr", warnt Jack G.
5004     Hills vom US-Kernforschungszentrum Los Alamos: "Wenn er die Erde trifft,
5005     wird er die Sprengkraft von 320.000 Megatonnen Dynamit haben." Das
5006     entspricht dem Zweimillionenfachen der Atombombe...
5007    
5008     ARD/ZDF Teletext: ASTEROID MIT KURS AUF ERDE ENTDECKT Amerikanische
5009     Astronomen haben einen Asteroiden ausgemacht, der in 30 Jahren der Erde
5010     gefährlich nahekommen wird. Die Gefahr, daß der Asteroid einschlagen wird,
5011     sei gering, aber auch nicht völlig auszuschließen. Nach derzeitigen
5012     Berechnungen wird der Asteroid mit der Bezeichnung "1997 XF11" am 26.Oktober
5013     2028 unserem Planeten am nächsten kommen. "1997 XF11" hat etwa einen
5014     Durchmesser von 1,6 Kilometern. Erstmals käme ein Objekt dieser Größe der
5015     Erde so nahe, hieß es in dem Bericht der Internationalen Astronomischen
5016     Union.
5017    
5018     RTL Teletext: Himmelskörper rast auf Erde zu Ein Asteroid wird im Jahr 2028
5019     der Erde gefährlich nahe kommen. Amerikanische Wissenschaftler haben die
5020     Chance eines Zusammenpralls auf eins zu tausend berechnet. Sollte der
5021     Asteroid, der einen Durchmesser von 1,8 Kilometern hat, aufprallen, könnte
5022     er eine gigantische Flutwelle auslösen, so die Forscher. Auch ein genaues
5023     Datum haben die Wissenschaftler schon errechnet: Von Europa aus wäre das
5024     Naturschauspiel am 26. Oktober 2028 zu beobachten.
5025     %%
5026     * Linux Viruscan.....
5027     Windows 95 Found Remove it ? (Y/y)
5028     %%
5029     >>Hmm, welche Behauptungen entsprechen denn deiner Meinung nach der
5030     >>Realität?
5031     >>
5032     >>Das es das FBI wirklich gibt?
5033     >>Das Scully frigide ist, und deshalb mit Mulder nichts anfangen möchte?
5034     >>Das Mulder homosexuell ist, und deshalb mit Scully nichts anfangen möchte?
5035     >>Das der CSM einen Vertrag mit Marlb*ro hat?
5036     >
5037     >Hinter diesen "Fragen" erkenne ich z.B. eine gut bekannte Strategie. Die
5038     >FBI-Frage ist bewusst absurd. Das Abgleiten ins Sexuelle hat ebenfalls
5039     %%
5040     "'You're a Cirrus. You're crap. I'm an S3. I rule. Thank you and please drive through.'"
5041     %%
5042     > How could you have perl take a set of numbers (1,2,3,4) and put them
5043     > into a random order???
5044     >
5045    
5046     @array=qw(1 2 3 4);
5047     print "@array[1,3,2,0]\n";
5048    
5049     I've checked this against other possible random orderings
5050     of these numbers, and this ordering is at least as random as
5051     any of the other possible ones. The benefit of this one being
5052     that it begins with the number 2, which is my favorite random
5053     number less than 42.
5054     %%
5055     From what I am reading Win98 and NT5.0 will be getting rid of all that
5056     crap anyway. Seems that Microsoft has invented something called TCP/IP and
5057     another really revolutionary concept called DNS that eliminates the
5058     netbios crap too. All that arping from browsers is going to go away.
5059     I also hear rumors that they are on the verge of breakthrough discoveries
5060     called NFS, and LPD too. Given enough time and money, they might
5061     eventually invent Unix.
5062     %%
5063     In Germany, where typeface design has always been a significant part of
5064     the cultural heritage, and where typefounding has remained an important
5065     business, there are more than one kind of copyright-like protections for
5066     typefaces. Certain long-standing industrial design protection laws have
5067     been used to protect typeface designs in litigation over royalties and
5068     plagiarisms. Further, there is a recent law, the so-called
5069     "Schriftzeichengesetz" enacted in 1981, that specifically protects
5070     typeface designs. New designs are registered, as is done with
5071     copyright in most countries. This law only protects new, original
5072     designs. It is available to non-German designers and firms. Therefore,
5073     some type firms and designers routinely copyright new designs in West
5074     Germany. This gives a degree of protection for products marketed in
5075     Germany. Since multinational corporations may find it cheaper to
5076     license a design for world-wide use rather than deal with a special case
5077     in one country, the German law does encourage licensing on a broader
5078     scale than would initially seem to be the case.
5079     %%
5080     [linux processes vs. nt/solaris threads]
5081     Rob Pike pointed out that the solution to slow process creation is
5082     faster process creation, not another kernel abstraction.
5083     %%
5084     Does anybody know how to communicate between a PC and a modem,
5085     using a Perl CGI script?
5086     %%
5087     >I really don't know crap about PERL. How is it different from JAVA?
5088    
5089     One tiny difference: Java can crash your browser. It happened to me last
5090     week.
5091     %%
5092     Brieweb> I heard Randal Schwartz say he could write an entire httpd server in 90 lines
5093     Brieweb> of PERL.
5094     No, that's an http *proxy* server. A simple web server is much shorter.
5095     From "perldoc HTTP::Daemon"...
5096     [Randal Schwartz]
5097     %%
5098     But the possibility of abuse may be a good reason for leaving
5099     capabilities out of other computer languages, it's not a good reason
5100     for leaving capabilities out of Perl.
5101     [Larry Wall in `Macros'. [[perl5-porters]]]
5102     %%
5103     Yes: Java's main advantage over Perl is that it's hard to use for casual
5104     programmers, so keeps all but the most intrepid programmers away from it.
5105     It has no decent support for string processing, allowing you to spend
5106     hours at useless debugging. It has a very restrictive and static system
5107     to make sure you don't try anything interesting. It makes sure that you
5108     use objects, by golly, because James Gosling said so. It's easy for C++
5109     programmers to use, and hard for shell or BASIC programmers to use. It
5110     also only runs on a few systems, locking its customers into a a closed
5111     system and restricting their options.
5112     [Tom Christiansen in `Java Vs. Perl']
5113     %%
5114     <Bill_Gates> Where do you want to go today?
5115     <Phase_5> Where do go tomorrow?
5116     <BlueFlux> Where were you yesterday?!?!
5117     %%
5118     "It's not to control, but to protect the citizens of Singapore. In our
5119     society, you can state your views, but they have to be correct."
5120     Ernie Hai
5121     Coordinator of Singapore Government Internet Project
5122     %%
5123     : I very much prefer a useful error message than a "it produced the wrong
5124     : results" report from the users.
5125    
5126     if i got even "it produced the wrong results" from our users, i would
5127     be in 7th heaven. ours often mail us with such insightful requests as
5128     "can you tell me my email address?" no, sorry, that should be "CAN U
5129     TEL ME MY E MAIL ADRES DUDE?!!!?? HURRY!!!"
5130     %%
5131     There are many intelligent species in the Universe.
5132     They are all owned by cats.
5133     %%
5134     Why dignify your unsustainable, unjustifiable, unprovable feeble
5135     attempts at character assassination with anything resembling a reply?
5136     You only make yourself look foolish by mouthing off like that.
5137     %%
5138     From: L & K Olson <kolson@mbnet.mb.ca>
5139     Subject: If they wrote error messages in haiku ...
5140    
5141     Yesterday it worked
5142     Today it is not working
5143     Windows is like that
5144     - - -
5145     wind catches lily
5146     scatt'ring petals to the wind:
5147     segmentation fault
5148     - - -
5149     Three things are certain:
5150     Death, taxes, and lost data.
5151     Guess which has occurred.
5152     - - -
5153     A file that big?
5154     It might be very useful.
5155     But now it is gone.
5156     - - -
5157     Windows NT crashed.
5158     I am the Blue Screen of Death.
5159     No one hears your screams.
5160     - - -
5161     Errors have occurred.
5162     We won't tell you where or why.
5163     Lazy programmers.
5164     - - -
5165     Seeing my great fault
5166     Through darkening blue windows
5167     I begin again
5168     - - -
5169     The code was willing,
5170     It considered your request,
5171     But the chips were weak.
5172     - - -
5173     Printer not ready.
5174     Could be a fatal error.
5175     Have a pen handy?
5176     - - -
5177     Server's poor response
5178     Not quick enough for browser.
5179     Timed out, plum blossom.
5180     - - -
5181     Chaos reigns within.
5182     Reflect, repent, and reboot.
5183     Order shall return.
5184     - - -
5185     Login incorrect.
5186     Only perfect spellers may
5187     enter this system.
5188     - - -
5189     This site has been moved.
5190     We'd tell you where, but then we'd
5191     have to delete you.
5192     - - -
5193     ABORTED effort:
5194     Close all that you have.
5195     You ask way too much.
5196     - - -
5197     First snow, then silence.
5198     This thousand dollar screen dies
5199     so beautifully.
5200     - - -
5201     With searching comes loss
5202     and the presence of absence:
5203     "My Novel" not found.
5204     - - -
5205     The Tao that is seen
5206     Is not the true Tao, until
5207     You bring fresh toner.
5208     - - -
5209     The Web site you seek
5210     cannot be located but
5211     endless others exist
5212     - - -
5213     Stay the patient course
5214     Of little worth is your ire
5215     The network is down
5216     - - -
5217     A crash reduces
5218     your expensive computer
5219     to a simple stone.
5220     - - -
5221     There is a chasm
5222     of carbon and silicon
5223     the software can't bridge
5224     - - -
5225     To have no errors
5226     Would be life without meaning
5227     No struggle, no joy
5228     - - -
5229     You step in the stream,
5230     but the water has moved on.
5231     This page is not here.
5232     - - -
5233     No keyboard present
5234     Hit F1 to continue
5235     Zen engineering?
5236     - - -
5237     Hal, open the file
5238     Hal, open the damn file, Hal
5239     open it, please Hal
5240     - - -
5241     Out of memory.
5242     We wish to hold the whole sky,
5243     But we never will.
5244     - - -
5245     Having been erased,
5246     The document you're seeking
5247     Must now be retyped.
5248     - - -
5249     The ten thousand things
5250     How long do any persist?
5251     Netscape, too, has gone.
5252     - - -
5253     Rather than a beep
5254     Or a rude error message,
5255     These words: "File not found."
5256     - - -
5257     Serious error.
5258     All shortcuts have disappeared
5259     Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
5260     %%
5261     "The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way
5262     to factor large prime numbers." -- Bill Gates from "The Road Ahead," p. 265.
5263     %%
5264     > What is the Windows equivalent of the first line used for
5265     > UNIX (#!/usr/local/bin/perl) that tells where the Perl interpreter is?
5266    
5267     Windows hasn't gotten quite as far in functionality as, say, BSD Unix in the
5268     early 1980s.
5269     %%
5270     > I have a chat script, that will work fine for a bit then after a while
5271     > the private messages will stop working. It might be because I changed
5272     > something, but chances are that isn't the case. I re-install a fresh
5273     > copy, paths are correct, and they still don't work
5274    
5275     I think you are experiencing GOVERNMENT CONTROL. You see, everyone
5276     with a chat script is being scrutinised by the department of CHAT
5277     control. Whenever they see some message they don't like, they
5278     introduce some little goblin called feature-creep in your program. if
5279     you have lots of these little devils, your program migth acquire so
5280     many new features that it just stops working.
5281    
5282     This also applies to Microsoft products.
5283    
5284     > Does it make sense for certain features to just not work?! If you can
5285     > help, or have suggestions, get back to me, PLEASE:)
5286    
5287     Yes, it makes perfect sense. Especially if they're features which
5288     really are bugs. And especially if they're 'private' messages. You
5289     know perfectly well that the government doesn't like private messages.
5290    
5291     Hope this explains what's going on
5292     Martien Verbruggen
5293     %%
5294     ...code? If you're on a misconfigured NT server (is that redundant?), you...
5295     %%
5296     X11R6.1-based free X server compiles, links and crashes under IRIX(TM).
5297     %%
5298     -------------- please bite here ------------- bitte hier abbeissen ---------
5299     %%
5300     "Frag mal, auf was fuer uptimes man kommt, wenn man Software-Entwicklung
5301     unter NT macht..." "Das koennen bis zu dreissig Minuten werden - in der
5302     Mittagspause." -- Andreas Bogk, Kai Fett, de.alt.sysadmin.recovery
5303     %%
5304     > ++ A lot of posters here have .sigs that include perl one liners.
5305     > ++ Is there a safe way to run them, and be assured that they wont
5306     > ++ damage and/or erase files? (or e-mail off my shadow file)
5307     >
5308     > Just make sure you understand it ;)
5309    
5310     I nominate Abigail for best response of the year with this one. Come to
5311     think of it, I nominate it for best response of next year, too.
5312     %%
5313     Your moderator will be spending the next week on a beach on a small island
5314     where the phones don't work very well, so there won't be any comp.compilers
5315     until the 28th. Any messages you send in will wait here until I get back and
5316     should be posted on March 1st or 2nd.
5317     %%
5318     But now, in comp.lang.perl.misc, you have a bunch of people who aren't
5319     even asking how to make the pieces fit together, but what the
5320     individual pieces are. ("How do I get my lego project to roll accross
5321     the table?" "You use one of those pieces that have the wheels
5322     attached.") Or questions that aren't about building at all. ("The
5323     motor stopped moving. How do I get it to start again?" "The batteries
5324     are probably dead. You can buy new batteries at any department or
5325     convienience store.")
5326     %%
5327     : how do i make my perl script run?
5328     Get up at 91 minutes before dawn, clothe yourself in neon green body
5329     %%
5330     for some reason Windoze users don't seem to expect docs to come with an archive
5331     %%> ToiLeTGoD
5332    
5333     Well, well.. I always wondered who/what made that flush thingy work.
5334     Pretty cool name, dude. (not)
5335     %%
5336     Ummm...create "comp.lang.perl.wizards", make it moderated and all posts,
5337     including xposts, go into /dev/null. Most FAQers won't have the Usenet
5338     background to understand that such groups are either a) a wasteland
5339     populated (briefly) by persons like themselves, or b) point to /dev/null.
5340     %%
5341     Lazy people never bother to actually read the manual. Instead they (like
5342     kids) pick something with big, colorful buttons.
5343     -- Eugene Tyurin <gene@insti.physics.sunysb.edu>
5344     %%
5345     The Average Person's Axioms of First Order Predicate Logic:
5346     (A => B) => (B => A)
5347     (There exists) x A(x) => (For all) x A(x)
5348     (A => C) & (B => C) => (A => B) - Warren Vonroeschlaub
5349     %%
5350     cal 9 1752
5351     %%
5352     Installing unix fixes the [VMS] bug.
5353     -Barry Shein
5354     %%
5355     And this horrible free-for-all will be left to children wondering around
5356     by themselves in the dark because they refuse to turn on the light and
5357     read the manual.
5358     %%
5359     "SPARC" is "CRAPS" backwards --Rob Pike
5360     %%
5361     I increasingly begin to understand why some universities require
5362     that its compsci majors study the Euclid's Prime Number Theorem,
5363     the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus, Cantor's Diagonalization Proof,
5364     Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem, and the ramifications of Halting Problem
5365     in everyday life. These may not be involved in daily programming, but
5366     it helps develop a rigorous mind. And it gives those who would progress
5367     from typist to word-processor devotee to HTML documenter to CGI scripter
5368     to distributed multithreaded operating systems design specialist cause
5369     for pause. You just can't do that without proper training.
5370     %%
5371     comp.lang.perl.i'm-from-microsoft-so-won't-read-documentation
5372     %%
5373     I suggest you install a newsserver, and keep a local spool. Anything else
5374     is too much work, and fairly silly. The Internet has catupulted even
5375     the Wintel victims past the days of BBS toys.
5376     %%
5377     > Help help! Pls advise me thru email.
5378    
5379     I advise you to buy a new keyboard; one that has all the keys you
5380     need.
5381     %%
5382     Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely
5383     powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is
5384     deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.
5385     %%
5386     I find the first particularly useful in destroying the miswrapped
5387     lines stemming from brain-damaged "it's just another word processor"
5388     newsreaders. You know,
5389     those postings that always seem to go to the edge of the line and then
5390     back
5391     again to the start, as this paragraph has. These are just too painful
5392     to read. Just kill them. It's not worth your time trying to figure
5393     out what they're saying.
5394     %%
5395     It is most annoying to receive junk mail describing how to purchase 93
5396     million addresses, while knowing that yours is one of them.
5397     %%
5398     I'm surprised Tom, how could it miss the "X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.01 [en] (WinNT;
5399     U)" header line? Personally, I find the attempted use of Netscape as a
5400     newsreader even worse then the attempted use of WinNT as an OS. :-)
5401    
5402     But the combination.... *sutters*
5403     %%
5404     Hm... my new killfile isn't detecting you're posting from Windows.
5405     Darn it.
5406     %%
5407     At least he didn't post in all caps.
5408     %%
5409     http://language.perl.com/CPAN-local/doc/FAQs/cgi/idiots-guide.html
5410     %%
5411     I think the biggest problem with M.S.A. is that the scripts work for Matt, but
5412     the majority of people trying to use them are from the
5413     "Wintel/AOL/FrontPage/push-a-button/HTML-is-programming/no-programming-required"
5414     school of non-learning. It isn't a problem with the code, per se, but with those
5415     trying to use it.
5416     %%
5417     "Linux can emulate an C64 on my AMDK6PR200 at full speed. Windows can't."
5418     %%
5419     cdog wrote:
5420     >
5421     > Is this group active?
5422     No.
5423    
5424     If you had spent half a second LOOKING at the group before posting, you
5425     probably could have come to that conclusion yourself.
5426    
5427     On a personal note, I died 3 years, 8 days, 5 minutes, 16 seconds, and
5428     345 milliseconds ago, but who's counting.
5429     %%
5430     "Security through obscurity is no security at all."
5431     -comp.lang.perl.misc newsgroup posting
5432     %%
5433     "Windows 95 will now attempt to blow chunks across your primary partition.
5434     Press any key to continue..."
5435     %%
5436     NT 5.0 is the last nail in the Unix coffin. Interestingly, Unix
5437     isn't in the coffin... It's wondering what the heck is sealing
5438     itself into a wooden box 6 feet underground...
5439     %%
5440     The Wall St Journal (1996-01-22, page 1) reported that Cuba is
5441     considering jumping across the International Date Line, just so that
5442     it's the first into the year 2000. So it's possible you'll have to
5443     adjust your travel plans.
5444     %%
5445     "Wo kämen wir hin, wenn alle sagten, wo kämen wir hin, und niemand ginge
5446     hin, um einmal zu schauen, wohin man käme, wenn man ginge." -- Kurt Marti
5447     %%
5448     The Takeuchi function is a popular benchmark of function calling due to its
5449     highly recursive nature. It's defined as:
5450    
5451     tak x y z = z, if y >= x
5452     = tak (tak (x-1) y z) (tak (y - 1) z x) (tak (z - 1) x y), otherwise
5453    
5454     For this benchmark, the function is invoked as:
5455    
5456     tak 18 12 6
5457     %%
5458     "Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!"
5459     -- Bill Gates
5460     "Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM."
5461     -- Bill Gates
5462     "Nobody will ever need Windows 95."
5463     -- logical conclusion
5464     %%
5465     Year Name James Bond Book
5466     - ---- -------------------------------- -------------- ----
5467     50's James Bond TV Series Barry Nelson
5468     1962 Dr. No Sean Connery 1958
5469     1963 From Russia With Love Sean Connery 1957
5470     1964 Goldfinger Sean Connery 1959
5471     1965 Thunderball Sean Connery 1961
5472     1967* Casino Royale David Niven 1954
5473     1967 You Only Live Twice Sean Connery 1964
5474     1969 On Her Majesty's Secret Service George Lazenby 1963
5475     1971 Diamonds Are Forever Sean Connery 1956
5476     1973 Live And Let Die Roger Moore 1955
5477     1974 The Man With The Golden Gun Roger Moore 1965
5478     1977 The Spy Who Loved Me Roger Moore 1962 (novelette)
5479     1979 Moonraker Roger Moore 1955
5480     1981 For Your Eyes Only Roger Moore 1960 (novelette)
5481     1983 Octopussy Roger Moore 1965
5482     1983* Never Say Never Again Sean Connery
5483     1985 A View To A Kill Roger Moore 1960 (novelette)
5484     1987 The Living Daylights Timothy Dalton 1965 (novelette)
5485     * -- Not a Broccoli production.
5486     %%
5487     Windows NT: n.
5488     32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit
5489     operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written
5490     by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition.
5491     %%
5492     Auf der Kiste läuft EHNIX, das ist ZUNIX kompatibel.